Coming Clean

Note: All sexual situations in this story involve characters who are 18 years of age or older.

"Thanks for coming over Brenda," Jackie said, welcoming her friend into her home with a kind hug. "Here, come on into the living room. I made us some tea."

"Sounds great," Brenda replied, trying to remain casual despite the circumstances. She and Jackie usually kept in regular touch, but for over a month now Jackie had been practically ignoring her. Was something wrong with Jackie? Was she angry with Brenda for some reason? Whatever had happened, it was enough to make Brenda feel apprehensive now, and quite relieved when Jackie had asked her to come over today. Jackie seemed very calm in her demeanor however, even docile, and that went a long way in making Brenda relax too.

"I just want to start by apologizing to you Brenda," Jackie began once they sat down and began drinking their teas. "I know I haven't been a good friend lately."

"Well, you could have told me that over the phone," Brenda replied with a disarming smile. "So you've been busy, I gathered as much."

"No, it's much more than that, and I think it's important that I told you about it in person."

"You're all right, aren't you?" Brenda asked as a sudden panic swept over her face. "Not sick or anything?" Jackie's husband, Ryan, had died four years ago of cancer despite seeming just fine merely a few months earlier.

"No, I'm okay," Jackie smiled back, "Fit as a fiddle, as the saying goes." Jackie indeed was in remarkable shape, and still stunningly attractive after forty-five years, but that didn't mean Brenda didn't worry about her. Her emotional state, especially, had been fragile since Ryan's death, as her friend wasn't at all the type that liked to be alone. Brenda had finally convinced Jackie to try dating again about a year ago, but that hadn't gone well for her at all.

"I... I..." Jackie's voice suddenly stuttered, trying to get the words out. Brenda was surprised to see her friend become nervous so suddenly, and put her hand on Jackie's arm to comfort her.

"It's okay, whatever it is, you can tell me."

"Yes, of course," Jackie smiled back. "It's okay; in fact it's far better than okay. I just needed a moment to get started."

"Take your time, Jackie."

"Well, the reason that I haven't been talking to you much lately, is that I've started seeing someone."

"Oh my god, Jackie, that's all? Holy shit, you really had me scared for a second. That's fantastic news; I'm so happy for you. But why keep it a secret? How long has this been going on, and why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"About six weeks, and the reason I didn't tell you was that... it's Kyle."

"Kyle? Kyle who?"

"My Kyle..." Jackie replied, her voice gently trailing off.

"What?" Brenda asked astonished. "You don't mean..."

"My son Kyle, Brenda," Jackie said, her tone beginning to solidify with startling confidence. "Kyle and I are lovers."

"You can't be serious, Jackie. Come on, tell me this is another one of your perverted jokes." Her friend's very refined look and mannerisms often belied her surprisingly lowbrow sense of humor, but this would be pushing it, even for her.

"No Brenda, I'm telling you the truth."

"My god Jackie, I can't believe it. I mean, I do believe you, but holy shit. How do you get out of this mess now?"

"I have no intentions of getting out of it, Brenda. Look, I've come to terms with it and so has Kyle. Besides, I don't think you could undo something like this even if you wanted to."

"But what about Kyle?" Brenda asked. "Don't you want him to get married someday, give you some grand-kids?"

"I do, and he will," Jackie replied. "We've already discussed all of this Brenda. If someone else comes along, I'll be more than happy to step aside. But until then..."

"But until then you'll be more than happy to keep fucking your son," Brenda said incredulously.

"Well, we do a lot of other things together as well," Jackie said with a sly chuckle that amazed Brenda, "but yeah, we've been doing plenty of that too."

"I still can't believe it," Brenda said in amazement. "And I don't know what's more shocking to me, that you're doing this with Kyle or that you can talk about it so nonchalantly now."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was struggling with these feelings for a long time before I decided to finally act upon them. I felt so guilty, looking at my son the way I knew other women looked at him, feeling the same desires churning inside me that I knew many of them felt. Kyle is quite the attractive young man, isn't he Brenda? Don't pretend like you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, of course I have," Brenda replied. "You'd have to be blind not to notice. But I always did it in a non-sexual way. I mean, I've always looked at Kyle as being the nephew I never had."

"Don't tell Kyle you feel like his aunt or he'll start getting ideas," Jackie snickered back. "He's already fucking his mom."

"I thought this thing was all your idea?" Brenda asked.

"It was, I was just kidding with you. Although since it began, Kyle and I have opened up to each about our feelings. I know now that he wanted me the same way too, for as long as I've wanted him, maybe even longer."

"And how long was that?" Brenda asked apprehensively. "I mean, was Ryan still alive?"

"I'm not sure," Jackie candidly replied. "Feelings like that take a long time for me to take root; I don't doubt they did for Kyle as well. However, I can safely say we were both adults before they crossed the line into what they are today, if that makes you feel better."

"It does," Brenda said. "Still, I can't even imagine finding something out like that about my Brian. I'd probably be beating myself up inside, wondering if I did anything to encourage such thoughts. Did anything like that happen between you and Kyle?"

"You mean like me forgetting to button my blouse up far enough, or him walking around in his underwear with a big hard-on?" Jackie asked with a smirk. "Come on, you're being silly now, Brenda."

"Well, something must have triggered all of this right?" Brenda.

"I didn't walk by his room and accidentally catch him jacking off if that's what you mean. No, nothing as spectacular as that, although I admit the mere thought of something like that happening when we were still only mother and son excites me now more than I can put into words. No, it was just little, seemingly harmless incidents here and there, tiny bits of verbal and physical affection we shared over the years that all mothers do with their sons without anything coming from it. For whatever reason, however, it grew into something more for me, finally blossoming into am honest attraction. I only feel blessed knowing now that Kyle was going through the same thing with me. I don't think either of us could have kept going on much longer like that without being free to act on how we felt."

"Blessed?" Brenda asked, raising her eyebrows. "Don't you mean cursed?"

"Call it whatever you like," Jackie laughed. "All I know is, I haven't felt this happy in years, and I've never seen Kyle so happy either. Even if I go to hell for it, at least I'll be doing it with a smile on my face."

"I wish you would have told me about this sooner Jackie, before it was too late. Maybe I could have helped you."

"Helped me what, helped me seduce him?" Jackie kidded back.

"Come on, I'm serious, Jackie."

"And so am I. Look Brenda, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think there's anything you could have done to stop this from happening. You're doing all I could ask for by listening to me. Most people would have already run out the door by now."

"What is it you want then, Jackie? You obviously don't want me to help you stop what you're doing or convince you that it's wrong..."

"On some level I guess I'll always know that it's wrong," Jackie interrupted, "but if anything that just makes it more right. Sorry to sound so cliché, but I can't think of any other way to say it."

"What do you mean by that?" Brenda asked.

"I mean that ever since I've come to terms with my feelings for Kyle, I've tried to be honest with myself, and eventually him, about everything. That means admitting that part of my attraction for Kyle isn't despite him being my son, but because of it."

"Does Kyle know about this?"

"Of course he does, and he's admitted to having similar feelings about me. It's made us closer to each then you could ever imagine."

"I'll bet," Brenda huffed sarcastically.

"It's more than just that," Jackie laughed back. "I feel a level of intimacy with Kyle that goes deeper than anything I've ever felt with anyone else. I felt a bit ashamed about it at first, as I didn't want to disrespect what I'd had with Ryan, but as I said before, I'm trying to be as honest with myself as I can now."

"And since you asked, yeah, the sex has been phenomenal too," Jackie added with a wry smile.

"I didn't ask."

"You'd be crazy not to. I mean, if Kyle and were simply spending a lot more time together, without the sex, then you'd probably be okay with all of this right?"

"Not necessarily, but possibly. I still don't understand what you want from me, why you brought me here Jackie. Certainly not to get my approval or forgiveness."

"Forgiveness? No. Understanding? Yes. As for approval, well, I guess we'll have to see. I brought you here to try and explain what I was going through, and how it eventually brought me to where I am now."

"Okay, I suppose I can do that."

"I guess things really started to happen between Kyle and I when he moved back in with me."

"He broke up with his girlfriend, right?" Brenda asked.

"Yeah, and there's no way he could afford that apartment without her paying half the rent, so Kyle came home. His morale was pretty low at the time, and I can understand why. I mean, moving out to live with Marlene was not only taking a step forward in their relationship, but also a chance for him to grow up as well. I could feel the sense of disappointment in him when he moved back here, as if he was taking a step back in his need to get out in the world."

"What did you do?" Brenda asked.

"I tried to be supportive, reassure him that this was only a minor setback, but I also wanted him to feel at home too, and not be in any hurry to leave again until he was sure it was the right move."

"Is this when things began to change between you and Kyle?"

"Yes... and no. It's hard to say, but I do know how happy I was to have Kyle back at home. I'd been so lonely after he'd left, and then with Ryan passing away, this big old house was feeling more deserted than ever. We spent more time together then we'd had since Kyle had been child, certainly since Kyle had started dating Marlene, and it was different in its own way."

"What do you mean?" Brenda asked.

"It's hard to say, but I think I always looked at Kyle differently when Ryan was still alive. He was our son, and of course I was close to him, but my perspective had changed after everything that we'd both been through. He was much more of an adult to me now, and our relationship became more adult as well, rather than that of mother and son."

"I think I see where this is heading now..." Brenda said uneasily.

"Do you?" Jackie joked. "I mean, I'm sure your relationship with Brian has matured as he's gotten older and, unless you're keeping secrets too, my guess is you haven't hopped into bed with him."

"Of course not," Brenda chided back.

"All I meant to say is that I don't think there was anything unusual going on at that point. But yeah, as time wore on, something changed for me. The more time we spent together, the more I anguished whenever we were apart. I hadn't felt so complete as a person since Ryan died, and somewhere along the line I started wondering if maybe these feelings had gone past what a mother feels for her son."

"That must have been tough for you, Jackie."

"If you're talking about guilt, then yes, at first that was really difficult, but you'd be surprised how quickly I got over those feelings. It wasn't long at all before my bigger concern was whether or not Kyle had similar feelings for me. Since we'd begun spending time together, I hadn't seen him happier, even during his time with Marlene. At the beginning, I still wasn't able to be honest enough with myself to call what I was feeling sexual; I'd use words like 'intimacy,' instead, but deep down I knew the truth. I can't give you an exact date or time when I finally said, 'I want to sleep with my son," but at some point I knew it was true. And once I managed to get over the guilt of all that entails, I felt like huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. As crazy as it might sound to you, it felt exhilarating. I really felt like a new woman."

"I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about, but it does sound like quite the transformation." Brenda said.

"It was, and like I said before, the only thing that could have ruined it all is if Kyle hadn't been going through something similar himself, which is why I said I felt blessed earlier. I'm not sure what I have done if he wasn't there to meet me half-way. Probably gone crazy."

"Or moved on to someone else, Jackie. I mean, it's not like there aren't other fish in the sea."

"I don't think anyone else could have replaced Kyle for me at this point. Even if I could have found somebody else to date part of me would always be longing to be with Kyle."

"If you say so."

"I do," Jackie asserted back.

Okay fine. I guess the next big question for me is, how did you figure out that Kyle had similar feelings?"

"It's funny, Brenda, but I've always been pretty simplistic about these things in the past. I've always seen men as being fairly basic when it comes to sex. If I was interested in a man all I had to do was smile a little more in his direction and show some extra cleavage. I feel a little slutty talking that way now, but then again Ryan and I married fairly young, so it's not like I had much experience when it comes to seducing men."

"I don't doubt that still worked for someone like you," Brenda said with a slightly jealous roll of her eyes. The fact was, Jackie had an incredible figure, with her heavy, bulb shaped breasts being her most noticeable feature. She took good care of herself too, with regular visits to the gym. Brenda had gone with her on a few occasions around the time when Ryan had passed away, trying to help her friend get her life back to normal, and had been speechless at how well-maintained her friend was after all these years. Even in her late forties, Jackie had a perfectly tapered waistline that flowed sensuously into her curvaceous hips. Her breasts were nothing short of stunning, both in size and shape, with only a little bit of sag that belied her true age. Jackie hadn't been the bashful type, often casually strolling around the locker room completely naked, and Brenda remembered how the other women there, most of them much younger, would try and hold back their looks of envy as they tried not to marvel at Jackie's amazing figure.

"But this was my son," Jackie continued. "Talk about going through untraveled waters. Looking back, maybe it is too bad that I couldn't have talked to you about this. You probably would have had a better idea of what to do then I did."

"What did you do then?" Brenda asked.

"Well, old habits die hard," Jackie chuckled. "So yeah, I might have started to leave a couple more buttons undone on my blouse than was appropriate. It's funny discussing this with you now, since Kyle and I have talked about it all since then, including my clumsy attempts to seduce him. He's admitted that while it might have been a little uncomfortable, it certainly got his attention. Maybe my plan worked after all. I love that he and I can joke about it now after the fact, although I admit the image of Kyle having to hurry back to his room with a tent in his shorts because I was showing too much cleavage turns me on more now than you can even imagine."

"Did he... was he really doing that?" Brenda asked incredulously.

"Well, he is a young man and you know how young men can be. Just a hard cock and raging hormones you know," Jackie smiled.

"Luckily, in the end we both found a much better place than his hand for it to go," she then added with the slightest wink, making Brenda recoil slightly. Yeah, this was Jackie talking like Jackie now.

"It was more the quiet moments that really made the difference, however, the heart-to-heart talks, the times we'd just lie together in front of the TV watching a movie or something. The closer we got, the more intimate those times became. It wasn't easy, but I wanted Kyle to look at me as more of confidante than his mom, so I opened up to him in ways I never done before. Pretty soon I found myself talking to him about my marriage, the good and the bad. After a while, I even got brave enough to talk about my sex life, one of the areas where I'd been more unsatisfied with during my marriage."

"Wow, that must have been strange," Brenda said.

"Not really. I mean, at first Kyle might raise an eyebrow or say something generic like, "TMI, Mom," but it was almost like he did it because he knew that's what society expected of him. I think by now he'd already started seeing me more as a real woman than just his mom. Eventually, I got him to open up in a similar way about his relationship with Marlene, and I felt a real connection that I'd never felt with anyone else. I think that's when I knew for certain that I wanted Kyle to be my lover, and that there was a good chance of it actually happening if we could only find a way to cross that final line."

"What did you do then?" Brenda asked.

"God, what do you do when a revelation like that takes hold?" Jackie replied with a slight chuckle. "I was nervous, but excited too. It was hard to remain patient. It's funny, but suddenly I found myself getting really horny as the erotic possibilities began to assert themselves too. I was all in for it at this point; you don't know how many times I'd get so frustrated that I wanted to barge simply into Kyle' room and tear his clothes off right there."

"Um, yeah," Brenda coughed nervously.

"I'm sorry if talking that way makes you uncomfortable, Brenda."

"I'm no prude, you know. But Jesus, hearing you say that about your son..."

"I know it's weird because you have a son of your own too, but try thinking about it for a moment in a more detached way. About two people who've had their share of failure at romance suddenly realizing that it's really each other that they've always wanted, each other that they've always needed. Ever since Kyle and I became lovers, I've felt emotions with him that are stronger and deeper than anything I've ever felt before. Sometimes, when we're just cuddling in bed together the feeling is so powerful I could almost cry. It's the main reason why our lovemaking is so tender, so passionate. And yeah, sometimes all that lovey-dovey stuff goes out the window and we like to get a little wild, but even then all I can say is I've never had better orgasms in my life. And I know you think that's all despite him being my son, but I'm telling you it's the exact opposite."

"It still feels weird... hearing you talk about your sex life with Kyle."

"I wish you understood, Brenda. You know what things were like for me and Ryan. Even after all those years of marriage I was always shy and reserved. I don't how much of it was his fault and how much was mine, but the results spoke for themselves. I often found myself dissatisfied with our sex life, enough that I even caught my eye wandering from time to time."

"You didn't..."

"No, I never cheated on Ryan. I loved him too much to hurt him like that, and the guilt I would have felt afterwards would have been too much to bear. But sometimes... I mean the opportunities were always there to have some one-night stand or something, and I admit often felt tempted."