As she sat up and turned on the bedside lamp, a tsunami of verbal diarrhea came over me and started flowing out of my mouth. The time for denial was gone, I was profusely apologizing and tripping over my words, unable to complete a sentence before starting the next one.
A thousand times over "I AM SO FUCKING SORRY!!" intertwined with some declarations of being a pervert and how disgusted she must be and vehemently insisting that I'd be sleeping on the floor. She looked at me with a slightly amused grin on her face, I was normally stoic and calm beyond my years, and finally spoke. "You done?" Was all she said, which led to round two of apologies.
She said, "you are a young man. I grew up with four brothers and know better than I'd like to about needs and desires. I've seen the magazines in your room and the 'used' boxers in your hamper... what I want to know is, was this because you're a mess of testosterone and hormones who can't control his cock, or was this because of ME specifically?"
Still in shock and incapable of lying, I said "before today I'd have said A, but now it's a combination of A and B...". She made a face and replied, "go on" and I told her "After seeing your tits... I mean, seeing your boobs bouncing out of your shirt after your shower, when I went into the bathroom and saw your clothes, before I knew what I was doing, I sniffed your dirty panties and got extremely excited by them and got a boner."
She let out a deep breath and almost seemed disappointed. She lowered her eyes and in what became her turn to spill her guts and empty every thought from her head, she said, "I know how fat and ugly and unattractive I am, but I am a woman with my own needs and desires and urges, and with your father incapable of participating in the fulfillment of them, they build up. And after three years, they REALLY build up and there's only so many times a week you can use a vibrator before you miss the real thing. Remember a few months ago, Dad and I went away for the weekend to Atlantic City? Your father got me a spa day - a manicure, pedicure, facial and a massage. When I got back to the room, there was a black dress and some new shoes awaiting me. I thought, 'oh well this will look nice at dinner' and that's when he told me to sit down."
Curious where this was going, I asked her to continue. She did, saying "He told me that after dinner, he was going to come back to the room, and that I was going to head to the blackjack and roulette tables and the bar to try to get picked up and have a one night stand. I thought this was some sort of weird joke, but he handed me a card for a room down the hall. He said I more than earned it being his caretaker, assuming the lead role in the family and losing my sexual partner in my sexual prime. His only rule and request was that he never wanted to hear about it. Didn't want to know who it was, what he looked like or what we did, and said regardless of what happens, spend the night in the other room and he'd meet me for breakfast."
I was stunned but also found it sort of endearing that he loved her so much that he WANTED another man to fuck her. She went on, "I think it was a combination of feeling good after the spa wearing new clothes, three glasses of wine at dinner and a level of curiosity if I could go through with it that made me reluctantly agree." At this point I could see tears forming in her eyes and she paused.
