One thing's for sure, my mom is the least observant person on the planet. It would have taken a sensory deprivation suit for most people to miss the change between Carly and me. It wasn't just that we were both more handsy, although we were, or huggy, which we also were, it was more the glances and glows we each elicited from the other. As our love life developed and deepened, our connection grew strong stronger and stronger.
Mom, as I say, was oblivious. When she wasn't hopping on the sunset Sauvignon train, she was working all hours or dumbing out on her phone. She maintained a holding pattern with Carly that was pretty mother and daughterish, but I continued to be an invisible irritant.
Case in point, for my birthday, mom got me a pair of dayglo boxers with an arrow on the flies pointing upwards and the legend 'This Way Up' in see-in-the-dark ink. A last minute, impulse purchase at the mall, I guessed. She bought Carla a new iPhone for hers. Carly, on the other hand, flush with a big bonus from her new job, procured me a new laptop. "Don't restrict yourself to porn," she laughed. "It can also do other things." She winked and mom choose to ignore her.
Carly and I discussed mom's indifference towards me ad nauseum. She said time would heal the wounds that dad had made in her. That the sins of the father would be absolved from the son. I was to relax. We would be a family again. And that until then, she and I would be a family enough for the three of us. And so, I carried on with my unbearable existence in this new town where I knew virtually no one, made bearable by one person. My sister.
Time passed and the Eyes Wide Shut party had become the thing of legend. Half the young men in town claimed to have been there that night and taken part in the wildest possible orgy. Half the women denied being there in such a way as to suggest they had been there and heartily taken part.
Whereas I remained an outsider, Carly became everyone's friend. Every kid, every dad, every bored neighborhood housewife or divorcee. Soon, she was furniture at every do that went down in our corner of the city. You couldn't have a soiree, garden party, afternoon tea or even sex toy party without sending her an invite. She shifted Tupperware and dildos and raised enough cash to build a playground in the hood and a defibrillator on every second street corner. She was bristling with can-do, and no one could figure out how she kept her energy levels and disposition so up. I privately took credit (and my reward) for that.
For weeks, Carly was talking about the big party. To be honest, I'd kinda zoned out a bit. Not being a madly social person, party organization made me snore. I'd just nod and interject into awkward silences with some 'Ooh' or 'Aaah' or uh-huh' sounds as seemed appropriate. So, I guess it served me right when I discovered I would be 'helping out' at the party. 'When on earth did I volunteer, oh darling sis of mine?" I asked when she told me to save the date. "When you were pretending to pay attention a week ago with your head lodged between my thighs." She replied.
"So, there's no way I could possibly have heard!" I responded, check mate!
"So, there's no way you could possibly say no." She smiled. "Relax, you'll enjoy it. I promise."
The night of the big party arrived, and I began to have butterflies. "What am I supposed to do?" I asked. "Just be your lovely self, serve drinks, and make sure all the guests are well looked after."
"And you'll be there?"
"Oh, no. I'm just organizing. This is, em, an ex-wives fundraising party. I don't qualify."
"Ex-wives?" I asked.
"Oh. One more thing. If anyone asks, tell them you're from out of town."
"What?"
"Well, it's true. Sort of?"
"Won't they just take one look at me and say that's the mopey kid who lives two street over?"
"No. They won't recognize you, or you them."
'What?"
"Didn't I say it was a masked party?"
"No, you didn't."
'Oh, I was sure I did. Maybe you weren't listening."
I could have tried to fight it. I would have lost. She, after all, was holding all the cards. And by god did I enjoy shuffling her deck.
The big night arrived. When I got home to change, I found Carly alone in the house. Mom, apparently, was out of town on business again. A last-minute thing. I was relieved as I changed into my tux and donned the same black mask as before. Soon it was time to go, but rather than let me walk the block or two to the party, Carly drove me there and walked me to the door.
Mrs Casey answered the door. I knew it was her because she has the largest boobs of any mom in the neighborhood. All natural too if gossip if to be believed. The reason I required her breasts for identification, was because she was wearing an elaborate Venetian mask hiding her face, stocking and knickers hiding her privates and nothing else. I stopped still. What kind of party was this? Carly propelled me forward with a shove.
Mrs Casey arrested my forward motion with her aforementioned large breasts. "Oh my." She said, flustered. Carly fired a parting shot. "Mrs C, As promised, one young stud from out of town. Enjoy."
She turned and walked to her car as Mrs C. flung her naked arm around my shoulder and walked me into the living room. That's when I realized what Carly had done.
The room was buzzing. Around fifteen women in their best lingerie stood about sipping cocktails. Another two or three young guys dressed like me made their way through the crowd carrying canapés and more drinks. I was the only one in the room wearing clothes.
"We'll get you out of those things shortly, young man. After the first lot of the night!" She carried me down into the living room and amongst the swarming, obviously horny and somewhat inebriated older women.
"First order of the evening!" Mrs C. shouted to gain a hush in the room. We're going to kick the proceedings off by auction off this young man here to the highest bidder. Fresh meat, so to speak." Thank god for the mask, I must have turned beetroot beneath it. I was presented to the ladies "sight unseen" as one of the older women complained.
Before I knew it, they were bidding on me like hyenas. Like actual money. It started at $50 and quickly rattled up to $560.
