"You're going and that's it." Carly punched my arm hard for emphasis.
"I can't."
"Mom! Tell him he's going."
Mom sat oblivious, scrolling on her phone, reinforcing the sense that anything to do with me just wasn't important to her.
Meet my family. I call us a family, but in recent years it seemed like there was Carly and Mom, and there was Carly and me.
We'd just moved from a godforsaken town in the middle of the country, to a godforsaken city on its edge just to escape my asshole father. He divorced my mom and then, seemingly having second thoughts, set about making her life hell. By the time we'd prepared to move, she already moved away from me. Carly, my older sister reckoned it was because she could see dad in me. Something at which I took great offence. Mainly because I knew it was true. I resented my dad for being an asshole. I resented my mom for not being able to look at me anymore without seeing that asshole. And I resented Carly for being smart enough to see, and good enough to relate to me in as loving way as possible that I was just collateral damage.
I'd love to be able to lovingly describe us all as a family in that moment. But to be honest, I was just in a rut. A brand-new rut but a rut all the same. I was 20. Virgin. Lost. Over six foot but not especially athletic. Carly was my sister. Five something, looked like a sister. Mom was a carbon copy of Carly -- just having been through the photocopier a few more times. Recent pain had made her look older. But to me she just looked like a mom. Like my mom. Even if she didn't act like it anymore.
The argument and punch in question was over me making new friends in this new neighborhood.
I'd been reluctantly asked to a party that weekend. A sleepover at a neighbor's. He was a jock, and all his friends were former high school jocks. I wasn't nearly a jock and never wanted to be one. They'd be there with their former high school cheerleader girlfriends. Tom, the host, was a film major and had chosen a Kubrick theme for the party: Eyes Wide Shut. I didn't even like old movies.
Don't get me wrong, I wanted to go. I wanted to make new friends. I wanted excuses to be out of my home.
There was one major problem.
The invite was a plus one. Non-negotiable. No excuses.
Not having any friends and especially not having a friend who was a girl, let alone a girlfriend, excluded me instantly.
I patiently explained this to Carly.
She said, 'surely I knew someone I could ask'.
I replied 'not on this side of the country' and that herself and mom were the only women I knew in the city. Except for Mrs Deakins in the local store. I pointed out Mr Deakins would probably frown at the idea of me inviting his wife to sleep over at what was to all intent and purpose a frat party.
She rattled off a few of her friend's that she thought might offer me a pity date. I scoffed. Refusing to be the object of anyone's pity.
"Right. I'll do it." She offered out of frustration.
"Oh, don't be stupid."
"Don't call your sister stupid." Oh, so mom could hear!
"It's not stupid."
"It is. They'll all know you're my sister. Tom lives just down the street, for god's sake. I've seen him ogling you."
Carly blushed slightly as smiled.
"You said it was an Eyes Wide Shut party?"
"Yeah."
"So, everyone will be wearing masks?"
I grunted.
"Mom. Tell him he's going."
"Do what your sister says, Kane." Wow, she even remembered my name.
"No. It's crazy. Why would you want to go to a frat party with your brother?"
"So my brother can make friends and hang out and not wreck my buzz all the time."
"No, it's a dumb idea."
"No, it's happening. Case closed."
She got up and pottered about, starting to clean up the plates. I joined in as mom continued to scroll on her phone.
We argued more back and forth but I already knew I'd lost.
Soon I was in my room, on my computer and simultaneously playing games and browsing porn.
A few hours later, there was a tap on the door. I closed my browser and said 'come in.'
Carly pushed the door open and stood in the frame making that Weird Science pose (Google it if you haven't seen it." She wore the same shorts and cut off top as Kelly LeBrock wore. Only she also wore a Venetian ball mask.
"Will I do?"
I stared.