Alan pulled a strip of tinsel from his hair and surveyed the carnage. Decorations, balloons, and gift wrap were scattered everywhere. That was still an improvement from two hours ago, when the same decorations were darting through the air. All the kids had gone home by now, and the birthday boy, Jason - Sara and Dave's kid - was conked out in bed. Alan scooped up an untouched piece of birthday cake and devoured it in two bites. Sara and Alan's double clown act had gone down a blast, but after several hours on their feet, the brother-sister duo were beat and looking forward to getting stuck into a bottle of wine.
"Good job in there today," Dave said, grabbing the Cabernet Sauvignon off the shelf. "The kids loved it!"
Dave was a tall man with broad shoulders and had a dark receding hairline. Once an accomplished athlete, the buttons on his shirt now strained against the pressure of his growing belly. Perhaps that's what a mixture of beer, cigars, and six years of marriage to my sister will do to a man, Alan thought.
"Cheers, yeah, I'm glad it went down well. My sister is pretty good with the face paint, and don't even ask me where she got the rest of this costume!" Alan replied as he posed, observing his colourful pants and sweater.
"Oh, yeah, and the two of you have been wearing that stuff for hours. It must be suffocating, mate. You know where the bathroom is if you want to wash that crap off," Dave said, letting out a booming laugh.
"Good point," Alan said, as he headed into the hallway.
The face paint didn't actually feel too uncomfortable. Sara didn't use cheap shit and was skilled at applying it. After all, it had taken her most of the morning to finish him. His sister was descending the stairs with pace as he approached the bathroom door.
"Jesus! You frightened me!" she gasped, laughing nervously.
"Just your brother," Alan replied, "not some crazy clown murderer."
"I should be proud. My costume design is so convincing that I don't even recognise my own brother!"
"I know, right?" Alan said in agreement. "I don't know how many times today I've had to remind myself that you're my sister, not...I dunno... Harley Quinn or someone! You've outdone yourself!"
Sarah had painstakingly applied a matching face paint clown design for her brother and herself. It consisted of a white foundation down to the neck, then red around the mouth and nose, as well as a red and blue diamond pattern over each eye. She had applied extra eyeliner to herself, giving her those deep piercing eyes. Compared to Alan's cheaper costume-shop clown suit, his sister opted for a more custom approach. She wore a tight fitting, dark red, long sleeve t-shirt with green baggy pants held up with braces, as well as some old emo style leather boots. The outline of her bra was quite visible under her top thanks to the plumpness of her breasts. For full effect, she had gone as far as to dye her beautiful blonde locks a silky green.
Why does she have to fuck with my head and remind me of Harley Quinn? Alan thought; a fictional character he had been jerking off to since puberty.
"Anyway, you'll see your brother again soon enough," he said, pushing open the bathroom door. "I'm gonna try get most of this stuff off my face."
"Nah, don't do that. Leave it on," Sara suggested. "It'll be a good laugh downing a few glasses of wine while in full costume, Bozo!"
Alan's painted lips curled into a smile as he continued into the downstairs bathroom.
"Seriously? You're going to wash it off? she said, pressing her hand against his chest while sounding slightly more than annoyed.
"No, I'm just gonna take a piss, unless you want to watch? Alan jested.
Sarah flicked one her shiny green pigtails at him, turned, pouting her ass, and made towards the kitchen. Her arms rose up over her head as she excitedly announced, "Wine time!"
Alan waited a couple of minutes for his semi to subside before letting the urine flow.
*****
The three of them took their drinks through to the living room. Dave put some Jazz on before joining his wife on the sofa. Alan sat opposite them on a sofa all to himself. He took a slug of wine as he looked across at Dave and Harley Quinn.
Dave yawned as he put down his glass.
"I'm the odd one out here. I need to go upstairs and grab a wig or something," he said, looking at his wife and step-brother. "I should go get my Batman mask."
"Yeah, do! That'd complete the trio," Sara said, squeezing her husband's hand.
"I don't even know where it is," Dave cut. "Alan, how's all going with you? Found a stable job yet?"
Prick, Alan thought, "I'm doing OK. Few bits of work here and there. The boxing classes are going well," he shot back. Want me to show you? he imagined.
"Boxing? I might book a few sessions with you," Dave said, patting his beer belly. "Lose a few pounds."
"Sure thing. I'd be happy to show you a few moves," Alan said. "Mates rates, of course."
"Not at all. I can afford full price," Dave replied, smirking to himself.
Sara rolled her eyes and interrupted the squabbling men, "Are you still seeing Emma, bro? How is she?"
"Emma?" Dave interrupted, "I thought it was an Alice you were seeing?"
Alan went to answer, but his sister was faster.
"Alice was three months ago, Dave," she explained, "Do keep up, my brother bores of them easily," her gaze fixed on Alan, awaiting his response.
"What it is to be single and free. So, it's Emma now? Well then, how is she?" Dave asked.
"She's good. Met up with her last week for a bit. She's stressed about her exams," Alan explained.
"And I bet you helped her relieve that stress," Sara added, draining her glass.
"Easy there missy. Look, the bottle's almost empty," Dave said.
"Then go get another one," she fired back, stealing some of his wine. "Never mind, I'll get it myself."
Looking like Harley Quinn was one thing, but acting like her too truly confounded Alan. And his penis.
"Apologies, Alan. My wife gets a bit wild after she's had a few."
"She's fine. My sister can handle her drink. I've seen her a lot worse, trust me," Alan said, chuckling. He was feeling the alcohol now. "Go look for your Batman mask. It'll be hilarious."
Sara returned with a new bottle.
"None for me, thanks," Dave said, moving his hand over his glass. "I'm sure you two jokers will have no problem polishing it off."
"Joker! I like that. That's who I am," Alan said, laughing to himself.
