Ch. 3.1: Mom's Secret
The leather bound journal lay upon my pillow, waiting for my older brother and I to open it and absorb its potentially juicy contents. We had found the journal while cleaning up the attic earlier that day at dad's request. It had been tucked away behind a myriad of boxes, stashed in an unlocked safe box. The fact that the journal had been relatively new and that someone had made the effort to hide it piqued our interest. And so, we'd retreated to my bedroom, with the intention of finding out what was inside.
"Fuckin' open it already, Rena!" Nathan said, unable to contain his excitement.
"Okay, okay, hold your horses." I pulled my dark hair behind my shoulders and lifted the book, unsnapped the latch, and opened the journal to the first page. I could see Nathan in my peripheral bouncing with anticipation. My twenty-three year old brother had clearly reverted back into an eight year old. It was hard to believe he was four years older than me sometimes.
"Well...?" He asked.
"It's mom's handwriting..." I said, mostly to myself.
"Holy crap, read it!"
"January 29th of this year," I read. "Diary, I caught myself staring at Nathan inappropriately again."
Nate's eyes grew wide, as did mine. He walked over to me and snatched the journal from my hand, scanning it over. His mouth moved wordlessly, reading the contents of the first page to himself. I sat down upon the edge of my bed and waited for him to finish, trying to wrap my head around the weight of the sentence I'd just read. What did she mean 'inappropriately'? Was she attracted to her own son? I mean, not that I couldn't understand. Nathan is good looking with a great body, after all. But he's her son! a part of me reasoned. Maybe that's not what she meant?
"She wants to fuck me..." Nathan said, his voice distant.