All characters are over 18. This is a work of fiction, and all characters, locations, and events are imaginary. This is the finale of a multipart series.
There's a fair bit of anatomical terminology here, because the POV character is a nurse. Hopefully that won't detract from your enjoyment. There's a short glossary in Pt. 01.
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I lay in Cathy's arms and she kissed my neck and murmured, but I was too dazed to follow what she was saying at first. Being blissed-out can feel a bit like being drunk, and my brain was overwhelmed with all I was processing. It'd been an eventful few days.
I eventually regained my focus and showcased my sparkling wit by saying, "Sorry, what?"
Cathy laughed and kissed my collarbone. "I was saying you're making me, um. Reconsider a lot. Things I hadn't been really."
I smiled and twisted so I could kiss her. The angle was uncomfortable but her lips were so soft and I really wanted it so the back strain was worth it.
"I can't say that makes me unhappy to hear. You're so lovely, and so graceful, and I've been crushing on you for a while now. And honestly I've been jealous because you're so gorgeous and so tall and so perfect, and if I can't be you at least I could dream of being with you." As I spoke I covered her face with small light kisses.
Cathy kissed me back softly and said, "Don't tell Brian, but, um. That felt. He's good and he really tries and I love him so much, but that was just, you were. Wow. Just, wow."
That was not what I expected to hear, but I absolutely wanted to hear more of it. "What did you like best about it? Just for the purposes of advancing my knowledge and skill. And maybe for specific future reference too, if you want that."
"You were so soft and gentle, and you didn't. There wasn't. Um." She sighed and looked sad so I turned around entirely and faced her.
"Cathy, what's wrong?" I stroked her jaw and leaned in again for a light kiss on her cheek. I didn't want to add to whatever was bothering her and I wasn't sure what the issue was.
"So. This isn't easy to, to talk about." She paused and I pulled back a little so I could watch her face. She rubbed the back of her neck with one hand, and I reached out slowly and grasped her other hand with both of mine, and said nothing.
"A few years ago, before I knew Brian, I was. I was attacked. By a man. And ever since then I have bad. I don't want. With a man, with any. I mean I do, I really do, but... I react poorly. Or not how I want to. When I feel something inside me I tend to, it all gets tense and even Brian, I love him so much, but it's just, it's hard for me to. And he's so big! So even though I'm getting, it's not as bad anymore, but it's still not easy, and I know it's hard on him and I don't, I can't." She let all of this out in one long torrent and my heart broke for her.
"Oh Cathy, I'm sorry. That's awful." I lifted her hand and kissed it softly then lowered it again, still holding it. "I hope you know that nothing about this, not what happened and not how you react now, none of it is your fault in any way."
She started crying and shaking and I hugged her close, saying nothing. My mind was spinning. Well, that would explain the problems she and Brian had. Poor Cathy! And she probably blamed herself for not being able to fully enjoy penetration, and thought Brian resented her. And being tense about her sex life wouldn't help her overcome her vaginismus. And holy shit, Brian's cock was already enough to take without vaginismus on top of everything. Fuck. What a mess. Poor sweet Cathy.
Her tears ran down and I could feel them on my breasts as I pressed against her. I started to say something several times but didn't. I wanted to offer platitudes, to pledge support, to express sympathy, to tell her not to cry, to tell her to cry and let it all out, but any of those might be the wrong thing to say, so I just held her. I felt a searing rage at her rapist and started imagining all sorts of terrible things that might befall him in retribution but none of that would help Cathy here and now so I pushed it aside and just stayed present with her.
Eventually she stopped crying and pulled away. Some people's grief can transform them in unpleasant ways, but Cathy was the most beautiful woman in the world to me as she sat there with tears running down her cheeks. I didn't want to brush those tears away, because she had every right to be sad and I didn't want to diminish that, so instead I smiled at her with gentle love.
"Thanks," she finally said, her voice rough. "I didn't mean to, but thank you. For being so..." She trailed off and I nodded.
"I love you, Cathy. And I want you to be happy. You deserve that. You deserve better. You deserve everything good. Thank you for sharing. I know that's not an easy thing to talk about."
She smiled timidly through the tears and I felt wildly protective of her in that moment. Give me an army to fight off and I'll stand in front of her, fiercely shielding her with my tiny naked body, dammit.
"Thanks Jen. You're just so. I'm so glad you're here. Really glad. You're so sweet and so, so sexy. And." Cathy looked down at the dildo lying next to me, covered in my lubrication, and I could see her processing the situation. Cathy wiped her tears with one hand and sniffled as she met my eyes. She was clearly struggling to speak. "There's something else I should. You should know. This isn't easy. It's about... that."
I knew what she was going to say but wasn't sure how to respond. I was sick of lying and in that moment I felt detached from the shame and guilt I was carrying like a cloud. "Cathy, I know," I said.
Her eyes widened and she tensed. "What? What do you..."
I lifted the dildo and said, "I figured it out. That this is... him. I know you must think I'm a pervert. I... I liked it before I knew, I really, really liked it, and then I just... didn't stop liking it. I never wanted to hurt you, either of you."
She scrunched her face up unreadably and we both paused, and we watched each other as the seconds ticked away. Finally, she exhaled slowly and her face softened. "Oh," was all she said.
Eventually I looked down and struggled to find the right words. The guilt and shame were back tenfold, and they surrounded me like a miasma. "Cathy, I understand if you want, if I should move out. I should. I can go tomorrow. No, I can go today, it won't even take me long to pack. I'm sorry, I'm really truly sorry." I felt like some disgusting insect, wriggling under the gaze of this goddess, and I couldn't bear it. She already had so much to deal with, and I was just making everything worse.
Her hand was soft as she lifted my chin, and she leaned in and to my surprise she kissed me. "Shh, Jen. None of that. I don't, it's ok. It's really ok."
I wasn't sure what to think or say. I just kept blinking, and she kissed me again, then pulled back. She was smiling.
She was calm, and I was spinning in torment. She said softly, "He's always had a crush on you, you know." This was honestly the last thing I expected to hear. "He never said exactly, but I could tell. The way he looks at you, talks about you. So it's not, I can't say I'm really, I mean even with my... I want him, because he's so sexy and so of course you would. I mean, why wouldn't you." She leaned in and kissed me again and I didn't know what to think or say, but I enjoyed the feel of her lips on mine.
Cathy's eyes opened wide and she startled. "Speaking of... Brian! He'll be coming home soon. I should, I need to get. Oh, I should shower first."
I nodded, and despite my confusion I held myself together and said, "If you'd like, I can make the bed while you shower. Whatever you want, Cathy."
She smiled and reached out to squeeze my hand in appreciation. "Thanks, Jen. You're the best. You really are. And seriously, it's all ok. Don't be... it's ok." Then she bolted for the bathroom and I watched her fleeing form as I tried to sort through my feelings. Guilt, confusion, uncertainty, confusion, lust, and then just a lot more confusion on top of all of that. But I loved watching her move. She was so long and lithe and lovely. Also, she really did have a great butt, even if it wasn't the most appropriate moment to admire it.
I made the bed and tidied everything up then headed downstairs and grabbed a quick shower for myself. I still wasn't sure how to process what we'd done or what she'd said. I wasn't unhappy, but I also just didn't know what to expect. I had a knot of fear and hope roiling in my stomach and felt nauseated.
I dressed and headed to the kitchen, where I sat and checked my phone nervously until Cathy came down. She looked refreshed and happy, which made my heart glad to see and relieved the tension that was threatening to overwhelm me.
She smiled at me, and I smiled back, and I helped her prepare dinner. She was making a beef stir-fry, rice, garlic bok choy, and spring rolls, and I helped with the considerable prep work, occasionally gently touching her back or sides as I passed behind her (an old habit I picked up as a waitress many years ago; always let people in a kitchen know when you're moving behind them). It wasn't a huge kitchen so we were working close together. She seemed to really enjoy the touching and would smile back at me each time, so I let my touches linger a bit, just gentle and familiar and comfortable. She started touching me back as she'd pass by me, companionable and easy. We chatted as we worked; nothing too serious, light and fun conversation about recipes and different restaurants we'd enjoyed and so on.