Christmas at the Parker household has always been a cosy and wholesome affair. Waking up at seven to run down and open the presents together as mum makes everyone hot chocolate and fresh cookies, the four of them sat by the fire as they take turns to open theirs. Lucy and Matt making sure to open the biggest first.
Once the floor is covered in wrapping paper and cardboard boxes, Linda makes her way to the kitchen to make a start on the feast. Listening to her husband and kids try to find batteries for the latest gadgets as she sticks her hand up the open end of a turkey.
With an hour to go before food is served, Uncle Tom arrives on the scene. Dressed in his usual Santa outfit and carrying a sackful of gifts. Linda would join them in the second round of presents as the roast potatoes start to crisp. Luckily for Tom he had the body to match the outfit so no need to stick a pillow under his jacket.
Then comes the meal itself, a mighty bounty of turkey, potatoes, stuffing, parsnips and for the two gentlemen, sprouts. Crackers are ripped open and debates are had over whether The Pogues or Mariah Carey are the true Christmas anthem. The food is inhaled by the five of them, leaving belts and waistbands aching.
Plates empty, it's time for the unenviable task of loading the dishwasher. This came down to Matt and Lucy, bickering for years over who did it the year before. Brian, their father, would always end up flipping a coin to stop the arguments. Matt made sure to pick heads every year, though it felt that he lost more than he won.
Back in the living room, the family would rest and stick on whichever Christmas movie the BBC had gotten the rights to that year. Every year they wished it was Home Alone, nine times out of ten they were left disappointed.
With the food starting to settle and night beginning to arrive, the kids would head upstairs with their new toys, not to be seen till the morning. The adults, meanwhile, would crack open a few drinks. Some sips of Bailey's, couple glasses of wine and a bit of Gin to finish off.
As if like clockwork, Uncle Tom would try to win over Linda, the two getting rather close but no further than a flirty, sometimes deep kiss. After which Brian would come back in, chuckling as he sees it, and tell his big brother it might be time to head home. Once he was on his merry way, Linda and Brian would retire to their bed to sleep off the food and drink.
Boxing Day in the Parker household was reminiscent of the extras tent on the set of the Walking Dead. The four of them slumping around, bellies still full, parents still tipsy as they let the day wash over them with but a few mumbles to each other.
But this year, this year had a different tale.
Lucy was returning from her first semester at university, whilst Matt was home from beginning his last. For the past twenty one years, Linda and Brian have had the responsibility of at least one extra mouth to feed, in the past few months they'd come to dearly miss it. But for these few special days, it was back, and it could drink.
The day started as any other Christmas had, though Lucy was down especially early in her Reindeer onesie, sat in front of the fire with her hood up as she waited. Brian and Matt strolled in shortly after, with Linda bringing up the rear with her cookies and hot chocolates. With age, the excitement of the presents themselves started to diminish. Instead of Lego sets it was shaving sets, instead of the latest Barbie, a bottle of perfume. Yet whilst the presents changed, the feigned smiles for less than impressive gifts remained.
As per usual, after an hour of opening boxes, Linda was back in the kitchen ready to begin her largest meal of the year. On the way she made sure to get changed into some jeans and a festive jumper, both of which did a damn fine job at outlining her motherly curves.
In the living room, to a soundtrack of 'Anton Du Beke's Top 40 Christmas Hits', the other three sat around, poking at their phones. Occasionally Brian would ask about how university was treating them and would get a sentence or two in response.
At twelve o'clock, as always, the door bell rang. Lucy was first up to let in Uncle Tom. "There's my little reindeer." he chuckled, pulling her in for a hug as he stepped inside, Lucy's arms wrapped round his large figure in return, big white beard rustling her forehead.
Santa once again brought his sack into the living room for the four of them to enjoy. As Linda entered from the kitchen, Tom looked over, smirking as his eyes ran over her body, she gave him a little smirk in response as she walked over to grab the little gift he'd bought her. Uncle Tom's gifts were never extravagant, usually little knick-knacks he'd picked up on his travels.
"Tom, what is this?" Brian asked, chuckling a little as he lifted up a garden gnome in a rather compromising position.
"Thought it might look nice with the plants, save you some hassle." as he said this he pointed to a hole at the end of the gnome's ceramic penis "It does the watering for you."
Brian pouted a little disapprovingly as Lucy and Matt giggled to themselves.
"RIght, dinner is almost ready so get your butts to the table." Linda announced as the other four made their way to the dining room, watching as Linda brought in plate after plate of mouth watering food. The crackers were pulled and the music debates began. But they were quickly silenced by mouthfuls of turkey.
The customary coin toss returned once more, as once again Matt chose heads and lost, pouting as he began the arduous task of loading up the dishwasher.
