I knew it was wrong, but I let it all get the best of me. I should have been smarter, I know. But, he had me in his grasp, and I played right into his game. Though I always considered myself a smart, somewhat respectable lady, no longer could I boast these things now. I'm void of dignity because of what I let myself indulge in. I was weak. He knew this, but he didn't do anything to make it better. It started subtly but ended burning hot.
Whenever Curtis would come over to see us and the children, I couldn't help but feel his piercing eyes on me, cutting through me like a knife. Most times, I played it off cool. I made it seem like I didn't know he was staring at me; I was just that chill about it. However, I'm not able to do that anymore. Last Christmas, things came to a head, and I've been spiraling ever since. I don't know what to do anymore, so all I can do is let it all out. Get it off my chest. So, here goes.
As I said, it was last Christmas, and Curtis came over, but he arrived solo. He was single, but always down to mingle. Sometimes, he would bring a new woman to a family function, unexpectedly. His spontaneous dates were physically attractive women, but ones with not much depth past that. Bird brains, essentially. He knew they weren't high on the intellectual ladder, but he seemed to feel good to show off his new beaus any chance he got.
On last Christmas Eve, He arrived looking incredibly handsome, dressed quite respectfully in dark-washed jeans and a long-sleeve plaid dress shirt. He wore business-casual dress shoes. Overall, he looked smoking hot. He placed a large bottle of wine on our kitchen counter, immediately being bombarded by hugs from his grandkids. "Grandpa, Grandpa! We missed you," his grandson and granddaughter yelled out, practically climbing over each other to win the first hug. He chuckled heartily, kneeling, and scooping the two of them up at the same time. "Whoa, there! How are you guys! Grandpa missed you too!" He gave them pecks on the cheek and placed them back on the floor, turning his attention to his son.
"What's up, boy? You good?" Shaun nodded, smirking at his dad. "Yeah, yeah, everything's good." "Daddy, come look! An ornament fell off the tree and rolled under the couch," little Audrey called out loudly. Shaun rolled his eyes, spinning his heels. "Relax, baby, daddy's coming." Shaun flashed a semi-annoyed look and followed his young daughter to the living room, an exaggerated hop in his step.
I looked down shyly as Curtis approached me sneakily, chuckling as he saw me blushing. "Hi, Nerissa. Good to see you, girl." I smiled. "Hi Curtis, nice to see you," I said cheerily, stepping on my tippy toes to hug him. It did little to help, his 6'2-inch frame towered over my 5'4 body. I decided on a tight-fitting midi turtleneck sweater dress and paired it with ivory knee-high boots. I have average-sized breasts; 36C to be exact, but always wore a great fitting bra. I went glittery on the makeup, donning beautiful ivory and silver eyeshadow and a deep red lip. My dark brown skin glimmered under the lights in the kitchen. I truly felt radiant that night.
He gripped my waist firmly as he hugged me, and he stepped back to look at me. "Wow, you look gorgeous, eh?" I giggled, staring down. My husband's dad always knew what to say to make me shy and blush, even though I never considered myself timid. I was truly a party chick and can't lie...loved being the center of attention. But something about the way Curtis said things made me laugh harder than usual.
"You don't look bad yourself! Staying off those donuts though, I hope!" I gently patted his small potbelly, which made him laugh out loud. "Hey, easy now! You were the one carrying two babies, am I right?" I looked up at him, knowing my face was practically twinkling under the lights. Tucking my kinky hair behind my ears, I stepped away from him and slowly turned myself around, showing off my body. "But take a load of me now, all that baby weight gone!" He smiled brightly, agreeing. "Yeah, you're right. Don't cry about it now. It's all in good fun." He leaned down and kissed me on my cheek, rubbing my shoulder lightly. "Make sure you stay away from the alcohol tonight, or you'll have to sleep over here. No way you're going to be driving home drunk, not from my home!"
Curtis smiled, popping open the rum bottle and pouring the drink into two cups. "I can handle my liquor, you know this."
-
Following a delicious meal, Christmas movies, and a marijuana joint, I settled on my sectional in the living room, watching prank videos on YouTube. The kids had eaten to their heart's content and were tucked into their beds, awaiting the arrival of the much-anticipated man in the red suit. Shaun, being a constable, had to work Christmas eve night, and wouldn't be back until the sun came up. And Curtis, of course, drank way too much. He killed the rum and sampled nearly all the wine in the kitchen. I was minding my own business, deeply relaxed under my fluffy duvet. I wore nothing but a navy-blue satin robe and matching thong, an early Christmas gift to myself.