I was in a fog as we ran home. My legs were still shaky from what had happened on the footpath and Christina had no trouble running well ahead of me.
What was going through her mind? What had started all of this? And had I done anything to instigate this? Surely I hadn't. Then what?
Haunted, troubled, and somewhat ashamed, I ran quickly past neighbors enjoying their time off for Thanksgiving break. I prayed they didn't see the damp spot that stained the front of my sweatpants. Far head, Christina jogged up the driveway, turned to see how far away I was, and leant over to catch her breath on the lawn with her hands on her knees. She removed the elastic that held her hair back and it cascaded around her face.
When I reached the lawn she waved.
"How you doing there?" she asked with a mischievous grin. I knew that look and had always loved it. The implications now were way different than in the past, and I blushed.
"I knew I could still make you turn red," she laughed.
I struggled to catch my breath and glanced at her.
"So...what now?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" Still, that grin of her's wouldn't leave her lips. Those kissable lips...
"I mean... you know what I mean." I said. "Quit torturing me."
She laughed again. "Is that what you call it? Torture?" She raised her eyebrow suggestively. When I didn't answer she straightened up. "I think it's time for showers. Do you still do the cold shower after the warm?"
Back when she ran cross country I had taught her about the cold shower following the warm shower to build stamina since the team often ran well into the colder months.
"Yep. I do."
"Good." And with that she ran into the house.
I stayed on the lawn for a few moments longer. This was insane. None of it was real.
When I walked into the house it was quiet. I went up the stairs and passed Christina's bathroom. I could hear her fumbling about so I went into my bedroom and closed the door. By the time I'd undressed and had stepped into the shower the water pressure had dropped, which meant Christina was already in her shower. I imagined what she must look like beneath the spray. Her slim figure, small breasts, wet hair... those legs....
Oh god. I needed to get a grip.
I quickly washed and switched the water to cold. The sudden drop in temperature, although expected and I was used to it, took my breath away and certainly served to cool me down.
A moment later I was done, out of the shower, and I dried off. It was going to be another sweatpants and t-shirt day. Rejuvenated by the shower I felt that maybe I had the strength to address what was going on between us.
What I hadn't expected when I opened the door was to find Christina in my bed.
"Jesus!" I quickly wrapped the towel around my waist.
Christina laughed and her eyebrow immediately popped up. "Seriously dad? I don't think you need the towel."
"Maybe I do."
"Fine. I won't look. Come lay down."
"I'm not wearing anything."
"I know. I saw," she laughed. "Don't worry. We can warm each other up. I'm still cold from the shower and this house is freezing."
Which was true. I hadn't yet turned the heat on.
Christina turned away and I was faced with a dilemma. Should I tell her to get out of the bed so we could talk? Should I lay down but keep my distance? Who was I kidding. If I got into that bed we would be right back where we were on the couch. Only this time, although I couldn't be sure since she was under the sheets, she was naked as well.
"Hurry up dad. I'm cold."
I approached the bed and stopped.
Was I really going to do this? Was I going to get into bed with my daughter, who I'm sure was naked?
Fine. Maybe I can control the situation. I knew I was lying to myself and suddenly my thoughts drifted into uncharted territory. Images of my daughter's naked body filled my mind.
I slipped under the covers and immediately pulled the sheets over me.
Christina turned around. "Finally." She scooted closer. "Hug me. Warm me up."
