Leon:
Perhaps
His phone was silenced too, I noted. We conversed seamlessly like that, unspeaking and sitting a foot from each other. Something about the situation made it more thrilling. The anonymity, no matter how flimsy, provided a sense of excitement. Dad was staring at his phone with laser focus as we texted. Maybe he didn't know after all.
"Hey, I was wondering if you wanna watch a movie later," I suggested. "My friends were talking about Providence. It's like this tomb raiding, action/mystery kinda thing. Interested?"
Dad looked up at me with a smile. "Sure, that sounds cool. I was actually worried you wanted to drag me to a romantic teen film or something, given the month and all."
Shit, that's right. It was Valentine's Day on Friday. It'd be nice to do something together, but I wasn't getting my hopes up. I couldn't come out to dad like that.
"Eh, I'm probably not gonna be into that stuff. My friends and I are most likely gonna do a Singles' Day or something. I dunno." I shrugged and he nodded.
"Good."
I looked at him, even as he turned back to his phone. "You're happy I'm not dating?"
He looked up at me, horrified. "Honey, that's not what I meant! I mean, you should be... gaining experience, having fun -- though not too much fun -- and... and..." He seemed to be having trouble getting the words out. He was trying so hard to not be the disapproving dad, and I almost laughed. "Y'know, they say that you don't really know yourself until you fall in love, and-- Jesus, what am I saying? Love?" He laughed out loud to himself, and I giggled along with him. "Well, we should get going if we want to get some good seats at the theater, right? Let's clean up and head out."
We did the dishes together and I just couldn't help but think back to his ramble.
He never answered my question.
--
I realized quite early on why Lexi recommended this movie to me specifically. That bitch.
The protagonist Shay was a renowned tomb raider with decades of experience, and he would have all kinds of adventures with his friends, solving ancient mysteries and the like. In Providence, he was solving the case of his own missing uncle after finding hidden messages in thunder. Yeah, it was some pretty crazy stuff. It was also going to be his last adventure, as the character was dying of a lung disease.
Shay's investigation eventually led him to a clandestine organization that collected precious relics, where he met a woman half his age, a fan of his. Hattie was cute as a button, fangirling all over Shay, and I'm pretty sure she wanted something more as well.
But Shay was almost old enough to be her dad.
As the scene on the screen played out, of Hattie gazing in adoration at her idol as Shay worked out how to navigate the bowels of the organization's headquarters, I peered over at dad. It looked like he was enjoying the movie, and he looked over to check on me. I blushed and turned away, just as something happened on screen. Shay had pushed Hattie against the wall, demanding her to tell the truth about betraying him. The young woman was crying, swearing upon everything that she'd never lie to him. She was in love with him, she reasoned, how could she lie? I swallowed, looking down at my lap.
I was deceiving my dad. I was making him commit something heinous for my own selfish desires.
I had to tell him. Failing that, I had to end this.
I only vaguely caught what happened during the rest of the movie. Hattie joined Shay's team and they eventually tracked down the source of the anomalous thunder. Bronze superstructures designed for resonance, who'd have thought? But as far as the romantic plot line went, Shay could only keep stressing that things between him and Hattie wouldn't work.
Of course it wouldn't work. He was my dad. We weren't supposed to be doing this.
In the end, Shay and Hattie went their separate ways: Shay, now cured by an elixir found in the ruins, was moving onto the next adventure with his friends, while Hattie needed to head back to her organization. A happy ending for everybody in the theater except me. I swallowed a sob before the lights came on, making sure my face was dry.
"Princess? Are you okay?" Dad patted my back, and I nodded.
"It's just... some surprisingly touching moments," I managed.
"It was even better than I expected," he agreed. "C'mon, we should get going. Maybe catch some dinner together. Afterwards I have to meet that friend again to work some stuff out."
"Are you sure you have to go?" I sniffled. I must have been really rattled to suggest that. Did I somehow forget it was me he was meeting?
"Well, I..." He looked at me, seemingly at a loss for words. "I suppose I can reschedule."
No, Cherry. You gotta tell him the truth.
You should probably decide what you actually want if you're second-guessing if you 'want to take that step' or not. If not, then we're just wasting our time here.
I realized I wanted more. The sex was nice, but I had to admit to myself that I was in love with my dad. I wanted to be with him. And lying to him wasn't how I showed my love. But we could never be. This tryst was all I had.
I took a deep breath. One more night, then I'll tell him. Curse my selfishness.
"No, it's okay," I heard myself say. "We should eat quickly, so you can get there earlier, and then get back home earlier."
Dinner itself was a haze. He left after I'd assured him a friend would come pick me up. He drove off toward the hotel where we were meeting, and I texted Lexi. Not long after, she arrived in her Mercedes, and I got in. I felt hollow. There was a perpetual ringing in my ears. I was about to ruin everything, but it was for the best. I couldn't do this to the man I loved with all my heart. Not anymore.
"Plan's off. I want out," I told Lexi.
--
Dad was already in the hotel room when I arrived. I couldn't prepare as well as last time, so I entered wearing my mask, as well as different clothes from before. Despite my decision, my body was aching for him. Might as well make the most of this; it was going to be the last time. I loved him, but I couldn't be with him. I'd never marry. I'd get nine cats and die alone and get eaten by the little animals. How morbid.
Dad was sitting on the bed in just his jeans. No blindfold this time, just leaned back and propped up on his arms. I took a deep breath and approached him, unbuttoning the blouse I was wearing. No t-shirts. Couldn't pull them over the mask without risking it coming off. I wasn't wearing a bra underneath, and dad swallowed and leaned forward when my little breasts were exposed. I walked into his arms, and he kissed my midriff, hands at the small of my back as I cradled his head, pulling him toward me.
His hands moved down to cup my ass, and I gave a small gasp. He unbuttoned my jeans and slowly slid them down my legs. I stepped out of them, giving him a nice view of my cherry panties. He growled in approval and kissed them too, lips pressing against the cotton and onto my flesh.
Fuck, I really couldn't do this. I couldn't let him do something he'd regret; we'd gone far enough already. He'd hate me forever if we kept going and he found out. I pulled away suddenly, and his arms reached out after me. I shook my head as I backed away, not with a flirty teasing expression like he was probably expecting, but with one of grief and regret. I couldn't even say a proper goodbye, or he'd recognize my voice and know it was me. No talking. I stifled a sob and reached down for the jeans.
"Cherish," he murmured, and I froze. My eyes darted up to his, and it seemed he hadn't planned to say that. He was likewise petrified, and we stared at each other for what felt like eternity. Almost robotically, I finally brought a finger to my lips, but he shook his head. "It's too late. Cat's out of the bag already."
He grabbed my hands and pulled me onto his lap, and as I sat on his thighs he reached up and gently plucked my mask off. I think I was hyperventilating. He gazed at me, expression inscrutable. Tears were welling up in my eyes but not falling, leaving my view of him as nothing more than a blur.
"You tricked me," he said gently. "You and your friend Lexi."
"I'm sorry, daddy," I blubbered. I blinked and the tears rolled down my cheeks, and I could see his smile.
"You haven't called me that in years," he said happily. I couldn't help but chuckle, a halting and awful sound.
"It's 'cause I can't. You know what it means nowadays, right? What it sounds like? Especially once I became a teenager." I wiped at my face as dad cradled me closer.
"Heh. Yeah, I know. It just feels so good to hear you say it again." He sighed, stroking my long hair. "Why, Cherish? Why?"
"I don't even know anymore. I mean, I don't know how to explain it to you." I sniffed again and dried my eyes. "You're... the only man that I ever saw. Yeah, I look at other people, school and stuff, but I'm only seeing you. And you always seemed to have a hole in your life, and maybe I thought... I could fill it. Or at least we could've done something to make us feel good, at least for a little while." I breathed heavily. "I know I didn't think things through. And I know what you're gonna say. I was reckless and naive and everything. And I'm a pervert. A deviant who'd do this," I finished, gesturing with my hands. He gazed at me with all the fatherly love he had, and I started crying again. "I'm sorry, daddy. I just couldn't let you go further without you knowing who you were... doing it with."