All characters are at least 18 years old.
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Leon
"Boss. Leon? Sir!"
"Huh?" I snapped out of my daze, eyes focusing on my subordinate standing at the door of my office. "Colette. What can I do for you?"
She smiled good-naturedly and closed the few steps to my desk, an office file in her hands. "I finished the report on those newest funds. You said you needed them by one."
I pinched the bridge of my nose, exasperated with myself. "Right. Right, sorry. Can you actually hand them to Marge? She needs to make some calls before the market closes for the day. Thanks."
She nodded, but stayed standing as she studied me. "You okay? You look like you could use somebody to talk to."
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, an image of my daughter pleasuring herself at my desk at home flashing through my mind's eye yet again. "Nah, it's just this merger between Energetech and Lightco. We really need to nail this, or I might be on the chopping block."
Nodding again, she sat down in front of me, setting the file to one side. "Yeah, this is a pretty big job. But that's not what's got you frazzled, boss. Otherwise you'd have remembered that it's an acquisition, not a merger." I groaned. Fuck. She tilted her head. "What's really on your mind? You can talk to me."
I sighed and stared at her for a moment. Aside from being one of the better analysts at the office, Colette was also my neighbor. Her son Drew went to the same school as my daughter. "Remember that single date we had? And you told me about your views on parental duty. You put the child's happiness as third on your priority list, after protecting their safety and well-being. And it gave me a lot to think about."
"So you said," she replied, bobbing her head. "Having trouble with Cherish?"
You have no idea. "In a manner of speaking." I steepled my fingers, retreating into deep thought. "But beyond that... Beyond that, have you ever had time for your own happiness? If you don't mind me saying, you seem a lot more lively ever since your ex blew in and out of town on Christmas."
Drew's father had abandoned a pregnant teenaged Colette, leaving her to raise Drew by herself, yet had returned unexpectedly a month or so ago. He'd almost caused some trouble at the office, and it eventually spiraled into a spectacle when the police got involved. Colette never divulged how it all ended, but it was clearly in the past now. Now she seemed ten, even fifteen years younger any time I saw her outside of work.
She colored a bit, a tiny smile slipping across her lips before she suppressed it, clearing her throat. "Well, Drew is eighteen now. He's an adult, and he... doesn't need a mother as much as he used to. It's allowed me to be myself again, more the person I want to be."
"You're renouncing your parenthood?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, astounded. She shook her head emphatically.
"No no no, not at all. I've been a mom for half my life now, and I'm at a point where almost all my happiness is derived from motherhood. I wouldn't trade Drew for the world. What I'm saying is... I figured out I don't have to be 'mom' all the time now. Does that make sense?"
I chuckled. "That does sound nice. Any tips on how to get to that point? Cherish and I could use some help."
Colette turned a shade of red I didn't think was possible, and she mumbled unintelligibly a bit while waving her arms around vaguely. I gave her a quizzical frown and she did her best to collect herself. "What I mean is," she stammered, "Cherish is an adult now too. I know it's probably habit by now, but you can't treat her like a child forever. The last time I really talked to her was at the company Christmas party, and she was saying she needed a confidant so she could talk about boys."
"Boys?!" I barked. Colette held back a laugh as I cleared my throat, straightening up in my chair. "Sorry. Guess I'm a bit... overprotective."
She chuckled. "Got a shotgun at home?" she joked, and I shook my head as I laughed. "But parenthood isn't a prison, Leon. Sure, it takes some sacrifice, but it doesn't for ever, and it doesn't have to be all the time. If you're looking for something else outside of taking care of Cherish, go look for it." She looked down at her hands, weaving her fingers together. "I know you still mourn your wife, but maybe... maybe you could find something casual."
"It... It hurts inside whenever I think about finding somebody else," I admitted. "Like I'm being unfaithful to Rose, y'know?" She and I sighed almost in unison, and she eyed me carefully before averting her gaze. I scoffed. "Just say it. I can tell you were about to. C'mon,
somebody
needs to tell me. I need to hear it."
She looked a bit surprised, then gave it a bit more thought before coming out with it. "Leon... Rose is gone. And you're still here. I can't speak to what she would want, so I'll ask you: Would she want to see you like this?"
I hung my head, heart heavy. I knew it was rational to move on, but I just couldn't do it. It broke my heart every time I entertained the thought of
maybe
meeting somebody else. And would I then have enough time for Cherish? She was all I had left of Rose. My precious daughter. I named her so because I knew I'd treasure her for the rest of my life. Unlike Colette, I prioritized happiness over safety, because life was fleeting. Your life could end, just like that, and all your dreams would vanish with you. Perhaps Cherish's name was as much a message to her as it was to me. Cherish what you have when you have it.
Corny, I know. I wasn't afraid to admit it.
Colette sighed again before standing, tucking the office file under her arm. "Just give it some thought Leon," she said gently. "And if you ever need to talk, I'm right next door." She smiled and stepped out of my office, leaving me to stew in my thoughts.
Something casual, huh?
--
"Just catch the damn ball, ya fucking idiot!"
With a harrumph, Bill sat back down on his barstool and nursed his beer. He looked over at me staring into my whiskey and shook his head, clucking his tongue.