I had just returned from a long day at work. I sighed, putting down my briefcase and putting the oven on before making my way upstairs. I heard a voice break the silence.
"Daddy!" Cherie ran down the stairs and flung her arms around me, smiling happily.
"Good Afternoon, Sweetheart" I said, embracing her warmly. "Have a nice day?"
"Yes Dad, I got some important work done for my seminar today. I've just been practising"
"Good" I cuddled her. "Fancy some pizza and veggies?"
"Sounds perfect" she murmured, kissing me on the cheek, making her way down the stairs.
I love my daughter Cherie. She makes me smile. I love seeing her happy. Ever since her mother – my wife died she has been a vulnerable soul, but she was determined to succeed in the world. She didn't let anything stop her from studying hard. Friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, nothing. Cherie was assertive and bright.
My wife had died unexpectedly from bowel cancer. It had split me in two. I felt like a broken man. Had Cherie not existed I would have ended my life then and there the night I left the hospital. It had been a year. A long, arduous year that had left both Cherie and I longing for something else. How Cherie had coped I didn't like to think about. She cut her arms up after her mother died, sliced herself up with a razor blade. To see my daughter do that to herself had caused me so much pain. She did it a few times and then had stopped. She took to smoking for a while, then spent one month virtually in and out of the house whenever she felt like it, but eventually she stood by me. She had helped me to live, and gave me a reason for living when all I wanted was to die. To see her smile every day when I get up is the greatest gift I have. That was my reason to like life again, to hold onto what I had left and try to make a go of it. My Cherie was 19 now. So grown up. She was now a beautiful, slender young woman. She turned heads wherever we went, and like any other man I could see why. She was so pretty.
But something strange had happened between us. It happened gradually, which is why it took me a long time to see. Cherie had become very tactile with me. It had started with her hugging me for slightly longer than usual, kissing me, telling me how much she loved me. She would press herself up against me whenever we watched the television or read to each other and we sat together more like lovers than family, she even squeezed my thigh sometimes if she was really engrossed in something. She began to come to my bed late at night, and snuggle up next to me if she couldn't sleep. I began wondering why she didn't date. Most girls her age have boyfriends, or girlfriends even. But not Cherie. I had heard her upstairs with a boy once and promptly threw him out. Ever since I had never seen her with anyone, only her friends. She goes to university close by so there was no need for her to move out or go anywhere. Yet she seemed satisfied just staying here with me.
"Dad?" I turned. Cherie stood in the doorway.
"Can we watch a film tonight please, I've got something I want to watch with you"
"Okay honey" I replied.
"Thanks, Dad!" she said with gusto, running back down the stairs. She was so bouncy and alive. I really don't know where she gets all that energy from.
I decided to ask her why she didn't date. It wasn't so strange to ask my daughter such a question.
"Darling, how come you don't date?" I asked her later, over dinner. She paused.
"Dad, I'm never going to find anyone as nice as you"
I looked at her curiously. I think my daughter is extremely intelligent, but sometimes I wonder if she has eyes.
"Maybe someone a couple of years younger than someone of my age, sweetie. I'm not having you bringing any real men home"
"You mean not old men then"
I paused. "Hey, who are you calling old?" I grabbed her and began to tickle her. She laughed involuntarily.
"Dad, stop it!" she yelled, laughing. I stopped after she tried to tickle me back. I hate being tickled!
"I knew that would set you off" she said, smiling. She wrapped her arms around my waist.
"'Because you're not old, are you Daddy?"
"I'm not ancient, honey but you aren't bringing any men home my age, I'm telling you that now"
She shrugged, grinning. "I don't want to, either, I've got you, haven't I?" she squeezed me.
"I just wondered why you don't want a boyfriend, that's all"
"Maybe having one man around is enough for me, Dad"
I left it at that. I thought, well, whatever little game she was playing she would pack it in soon enough.
But she didn't.
It became more intense. She slept beside me more often. She squeezed me every time we cuddled. She would whisper in my ear like a lover when she wanted to say something in the evenings if we were watching something.
Then one day something amazing happened.
I woke up in bed. I checked my alarm. It was 07:00AM. Cherie was snuggled up to me tight. She opened her eyes, as if she had already been awake.
"Cherie! What are you doing here?" I asked her.
"Dad, please give me a cuddle, I had a bad dream" she said sleepily. I wrapped my arm around her and gave her a hug.
"What's up, Princess?"
"Nothing" she snuggled up to me.
I closed my eyes but the minute I did I felt soft lips on mine, and a hand on my chest. Shocked, I grabbed hold of her shoulder and pushed her away from me.
"Jesus, Cherie" I gasped. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I felt you get hard up against me when you were sleeping Dad. I thought I might be able to help"
I stared at her and she gazed back at me solemnly. She meant it.
"Cherie, oh Cherie," I said, taking her hands in mine as I sat up. "You can't touch me like that darling, you're my daughter. I'm your Dad. Understand?"
She nodded but didn't look happy, staring down at her legs.
"I just want you to be happy" she confessed.
"But you do make me happy, sweetheart. I can't tell you enough" I stroked her face.
"I have to go to my lecture soon, Dad. I'll see you later" she said, kissing me on the cheek.
"Do you want me to drop you on my way to work?" I called.
"No Dad, it's okay. See you tonight"
After a few minutes I heard the front door slam shut.
A million things were running through my mind. Why had she kissed me like that? What did she think she was doing? Does she have a crush on me? Is that normal? Is she playing with me? She seemed sincere. I tried to push it out of my mind. I had to go to work.
The whole day I was at work my mind wandered back to what had happened that morning.
By the time I got home I couldn't wait to relax. I heard the familiar sound of Cherie on the stairs.
"Hello Dad!" She gave me a bear hug, squeezing me tight.