SHANNON:
There are certain moments in a person's life when they can actually feel time stop around them. This feeling heightens awareness and causes one to realize the gentle shift from the cool stagnant waters of the everyday mundane, to the warm undercurrent of unknown possibilities.
This was not one of those times.
As Jonathan reached out to pick up the phone, timed definitely stopped, but there was no gentle shift.
It felt like a giant ice cold murderous wave was crashing down on top of my head. The air was washed right out of my lungs, I was sinking fast, and all I could do was sit petrified as Jon took Drake's call
"Didn't we just get rid of you?" Jonathan jokingly greeted his brother.
I sat with baited breath, waiting for the eventual fall out. I desperately wished I could hear the other side of the conversation.
"I mean if you miss us that much I guess you and Kitty could always move back in " Jon laughed. "Well good, because I've ran out of allergy medicine."
He listen for a couple of seconds and laughed again.
My shoulders started to relax a little. It sounded as though Drake was being as equally jovial on his side of the conversation.
"Oh nothing much just sitting on the couch eating dinner." Jon looked over at me and smiled.
"Chicken parmesan." Still looking at me he winked. "This is true, she really does make the best, nothing quite like it anywhere else."
He reached over and and patted my thigh, gave it a squeeze and absent mindedly rubbed it. He continued to listen and I felt his hand freeze.
"Is everything all right?" I looked over at his face. A brief look of concern crossed my husbands face and I could hear my heartbeat starting to drum heavily in my ears.
I slowly pulled myself away and stood up, I grab my empty glass of ice water. I needed to escape the room.
But I didn't get more than three feet away.
"Shannon?"
I halted my retreat, but was too afraid to turn around. I held my glass tightly, as though it was the only thing keeping me tethered to this plane of existence.
"Hey sweetie?" he spoke a little louder this time, as though I might have not heard him at first.
I turned my head slightly "Hmmm?" If he was still calling me sweetie then perhaps I could calm down a little. I chose to turn all the away around "What is it hun?"
"Yeah I'll put her on." He held out the phone and waved it at me. "Here you go sweetie, Drake wants to talk to you."
My heart sped up again. This rollercoaster ride was beginning to become too much.
I tried to look unaffected and reached to grab it with my empty hand.
"Hey grab me a soda on your way back." Jon whispered, he point to my glass. Acknowledging his request with a nod, and with phone in hand I walked towards the kitchen.
Taking a deep breath I held the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I was going to do my utmost best to be normal. But as soon as I heard Drake's voice, that plan went out the window.
"Chicken Parmesan, huh?, I would have also accepted Chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes." His voice was full of mocking. "I'm glad you did what I told you to do, Jon really deserves it, doesn't he?"
I didn't know how to respond. I felt frozen. Here I was on the phone with my brother in-law, who just caught me cheating, whom I just masturbated thinking about. Now he calling for god knows what, and to make things even more messed up I could feel my nipples stiffen under my night shirt.
I just needed to play along so we could get to get the point.
"Well he is an amazing husband, of course he deserves the best." I said as much mock saccharine I could muster.
"Oh I know he is a good husband, just a fucking shit lover right?" The coldness in his tone chilled me to the bone. "But I guess you've had your little fun and now you can go back to being the sweet devoted wife you always were." His voice became lighter as if he was done talking about it.
"So was that all you needed to talk about?" I wanted to end this awkwardness and return to life before all this unwanted unpleasantness.
"Actually I need a favor."
"Oh?" I wasn't sure what kind of favor I could provide him.
"Yeah nothing major, I'm going out of town for an overnight trip and I need somebody to come over and check on Kitty tomorrow afternoon."
I smiled a bit, thinking about Drake's fat fuzzy cat. Truth was I rather missed the silly little thing this past week.
"Oh sure, yeah I can spend some quality time with Kitty." I said brightly, glad to get past the other stuff.
"Good, I didn't think it would be too fucking hard to get you to do me a favor." The gruffness in his voice returning. "I mean, you kinda owe me one...don'tcha."
I felt my body go rigid. So much for sweeping things under the rug.
"Look Drake." I hissed. "I don't thin...."
"I wonder what else I could have you do for me." his voice was filled with dark laughter. "You know I think my truck needs to be washed and waxed." He chuckled a little more, then he grew serious. "Actually you know what I want you to do?"
I remained silent. I was angry. I felt like I was being bullied.
"You there Shannon?" he waited for me to answer.
Silence
"I don't like being ignored Shannon, answer me or I might ask to be handed back over to my brother."
"I am still here." This game was starting to make me nervous, how long could I let him treat me like this.
As long as I wanted to keep my marriage intact.
"Are you listening," he sounded darker and more controlling by the moment.
"Yes Drake."
"Good, now listen carefully."
"I am." my own voice was starting to become a weak whisper.
"I want you to do something for me. I think it might help you and Jon."
"What?" I wasn't following
"Now I have known for awhile now, about your sad sex life with my brother. I mean after living with you two for so long I've heard everything."
I could feel my face heat up with embarrassment .
"The problem is Shannon, I don't think you try hard enough to inspire him, Maybe if you put more effort into pleasing him, he'd be more responsive to you."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only did Drake know about how unhappy I was with my sex life, but he was blaming me for it. I wanted to cry.
Actually I was already there. I could feel a small tear slip down my cheek and fall into the corner of my mouth, I didn't know what to say.
"Shannon I want to try to save you. After seeing what I saw today I realize just how fucking bad things have gotten between you two." He sounded genuinely concerned. "Just listen to me okay, I'm going to help you, understand?"
"Yes sir." All I could do was agree, I was willing to agree to anything as long as he kept his mouth shut and ended this embarrassing conversation.
"Okay here it is. After we hang up I want you to go and put on your sexiest bit of lingerie, and I want you to saunter into the living room and then drop to your knees and start giving him a nice sloppy blow job."
I wasn't sure I was hearing him correctly.
"What, he's not going to go for it. He'll think I'm being crazy and weird." I was starting to become shrill and had to try to keep my voice in check.
"Don't make excuses Shannon." He commanded. "If you can spend the afternoon getting pounded by some client, then a little blow job for your hubby should be a piece of cake."
"It won't work, it's not me it's him." I wanted to stomp my feet and throw a very childish tantrum, why couldn't he realize it wasn't my fault.
"Just do what I tell you." There was no mercy in his voice. "Go on and be a good wife, and Shannon I'm gonna fucking know whether you did it or not."
I scoffed in disbelief. "How are you going to know?"
"Because I'm gonna fucking ask you, and you're gonna tell me the truth, I will know if you're lying." He was becoming louder. "You're not going to lie to me are you Shannon?"
"No." More tears trickled down my face.
"Good Girl."
I hated myself for getting wet at that phrase.
"Now say goodnight and hang up the phone."
"Good night Drake." I half way sobbed.
I heard him hang up on the other end and it was over.
I laid the phone down and grabbed the edge of the kitchen counter. I took a few deep breaths and steadied myself.
I had always thought my punishment would come in the after life. But there I was trying to atone for my sins.
To be honest I was only atoning for one of them.
I wasn't going to be caught next time. I'd definitely make sure of it.
I didn't want to go through with Drakes request...no his command. It was humiliating I should just ignore it. But I knew he would ask and I knew he wouldn't be happy if he found out I didn't take his "advice."
Who knew maybe just this once Jon would be really into a little spontaneity.