Author's Note: This story goes back and forth between Barbara's real life and her fantasy life. I blocked off the sections using solid lines (____). This story was inspired by, and is also dedicated to, all of the 40ish women who have e-mailed me over the years that have 18-19 year old sons. Like Barbara, they love their sons dearly, and would never want to jeopardise those relationships with sex. But just like Barbara, they've never been afraid to allow their mind's eye to stray regarding their strapping young sons from time to time.
Like most people, Barbara would say that change had always been a big part in her life. From growing up herself and then marrying young to her high school sweetheart, to having a baby. Although the three of them would be happy for twelve years before her husband passed away, those times seemed to flash by in an instant. Luckily, her husband had left Barbara with many prosperous investments and a substantial life insurance claim, enough that Barbara hadn't had to worry too much about finances. Nevertheless, the change from being a happy young wife to a widow trying to raise a teenage son all by herself had been a tremendous shock. Still, she had moved into the role of full-time mom quite smoothly, and before long her son Paul became not only the love of her life by her very reason for living as well.
Paul had changed much during these years too, and although the first few several years since his father had died seemed to fly by at a whirlwind pace for Barbara, she'd been able to savor watching him grow up these last few years. She'd watched with admiration as Paul had passed through life's many rights of passage, such as his first date, getting his driver's licence, and graduating from high school. In many ways, he was still a boy, in fact in many ways Paul would always be her boy, but the signs of him growing into a man were becoming more and more prevalent every day.
Paul's body had taken an unusually long time to catch up to the other boys his age, causing him a great deal of emotional stress, which of course as his mother Barbara felt as well, but in the last year his growth spurt had kicked in with a bang. In only one, short year, Paul had grown almost six inches. His shoulders and chest had broadened significantly too, and he'd probably gained at least 20 pounds of muscle. It was amazing for Barbara to think that her little boy, who had only begun shaving regularly last year, was now this towering young man with a handsome manly face and a sexy rear end. Yes, Barbara had noticed changes like that about Paul too, much to her dismay, and this is where her story takes its non-traditional turn.
At first, she thought it had been nothing more than concern of a mother doting over her child. Paul had been so self-conscious about his appearance, and that, coupled with his overall shy nature had made his high school years both painful and awkward. And Barbara felt his pain as well. Outside of a small group of friends, Paul didn't socialize much, and rarely dated. To a certain extent, Barbara didn't object to this too much, as it allowed Paul to focus on his schooling, and in so doing he had become a good student.
But as time went by, Barbara started to worry about how far behind Paul had fallen in terms of his social skills. She tried to get him to enrol in sports, but Paul was not big or strong enough to make any of those teams. She tried him to get involved in some of the academic clubs, but he showed little interest in that as well. What about girls? Paul was painfully shy, and although he had managed to get a few dates for special occasions like the prom, he almost never went out. After doing a bit of snooping - yes, Barbara snooped on occasion, but it was OK, she'd tell herself – she was his mother – she'd found some pornography on Paul's computer. Pretty basic stuff, she had noted, and not so much that Barbara worried that he might have some sort of addiction to it.
"Well, at least he is interested in girls, and he does have a sex drive," Barbara had told herself with relief. "He just needs to break out of his shell a bit to boost his confidence."
And so it was with great satisfaction that Barbara observed the physical changes in Paul that had taken place over this last year. Paul had told Barbara that he wanted to take a year off from school after graduation, to "re-charge his batteries," as he had put it. Barbara agreed on the condition that he use the opportunity to get out a bit more, meet people, telling him that "I won't have you here for a year so that you can spend every day alone in your room."
Paul had agreed to this condition, and to Barbara's surprise one of the first things he had done was to join a gym. The gym provided free counselling from a personal trainer, and with this help plus Paul's now rampant growth spurt he had literally become a different person physically. Gone was the spindly awkward boy to a suddenly very strapping young man. It hadn't done much yet to bolster Paul's shyness, but Barbara hoped that given a little more time this would change for Paul as well.
This is where things began to go awry for Barbara. She couldn't explain it. How, why, could this happen to her? At first she felt so guilty, but as time wore on the pain of trying to stifle her attraction towards Paul became even worse than the pain of her guilt. The fact was, Barbara was changing too. She hadn't had any time for men since her husband had passed, but for the first time in those six years she felt the indisputable urges of being drawn to one now.
"But, of all people, Paul?" she had asked herself with incredulity. Never in a million years could Barbara believe this was possible. She felt cursed; any woman who could look at her own son and feel anything sexually towards him must be, she reasoned. Barbara had tried to summon upon all her instincts as a mother, instincts that had served her so well over the years, to ward off the depraved temptation that had crept into her soul, but to no avail. In some ways, this new fascination with Paul felt just as strong, and at times, just as natural, as the instincts that had guided Barbara all these years. Nevertheless, she fought them as long as she could, until it became apparent that they were here to stay. And that's when Barbara decided that, for the sake of her own sanity, she would have to make a few changes of her own.
The change Barbara made was that, although she vowed that she and Paul would never have anything more than a normal mother-son relationship, she would nonetheless permit her mind, on occasion, to take them in different directions. Which directions? Even Barbara wasn't completely sure, as she knew that even in her mind she should explore these emotions carefully. But how does one control a tidal wave of emotion?
"What I need is a faucet," Barbara thought, amused. And then, in Barbara's mind, she saw one, clear as can be, and her mind took her back to something an actual event from the week before.
"Come on, Mom, I'm in a hurry," Paul said excitedly. Barbara had been in front of her bathroom sink, washing her hands.
"Okay, okay," she relented with a chuckle, "Big date tonight, handsome?"
"No, she cancelled," Paul replied, "I'm just going out to a movie with the boys." Paul had his bathrobe draped over his shoulder and had a bottle of shampoo in his hand, clearly intending to use the shower. The regular shower Paul used - for all intents and purposes it was his - was out of order, and so for the last two days he'd been using the private one in Barbara's bedroom.
"All yours," Barbara smiled, leaving the room. She went downstairs to watch some TV.
"Oh damn," Barbara said about ten minutes later, remembering that she had washed all the bath towels today and had yet to put them back in place. Retrieving one of the large, fluffy towels, she went upstairs and laid it outside the bathroom door.
"Paul!" Barbara tried to exclaim above the loud, pounding water of the shower.
"Yeah Mom, what it is?" Paul replied.
"I'm leaving a towel outside the door," Barbara said, "there aren't any in there." And that was it. Or was it? Barbara replayed the day in her mind's eye, and this time things had happened quite differently.
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"Oh damn," Barbara said about ten minutes later, remembering that she had washed all the bath towels today and had yet to put them back in place. Retrieving one of the large, fluffy towels, she went upstairs and laid it outside the bathroom door.
"Paul!" Barbara tried to exclaim above the loud, pounding water of the shower. But there was no reply. "Paul!" Barbara repeated, assuming that he could not hear her. Barbara rapped slightly on the door, but there was no reply from Paul. To her surprise, however, the door had been ajar, opening a few inches when she had knocked.
"Oh, thank God," Barbara thought. Paul had his back to her as he showered, apparently oblivious to her presence. Unlike the shower Paul normally used, Barbara's was a cubical made for two of full-length glass. Glass that remained shockingly transparent, even when steamed up. Installing this type of shower had been the doing of Barbara's late husband, evidently to spice up their love life.
Barbara instantly recoiled, fearing Paul would see her, but he did not turn around, as he appeared to be busy washing his hair. Feeling a bit more relaxed now, Barbara couldn't resist the urge to lean forward and peek into the room. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Some of it was from the fear of being caught, but mostly it came from the sight before her.
This shower had not been designed for the modest, and so Barbara had a clear view of Paul from head to toe. Paul's exercise routine had made him much bigger and stronger, but he was remarkably fit too. Barbara sat there on the floor, just taking in the sight of Paul's chiselled shoulders and back. They were hard and firm, and flared out in a perfect V that converged upon his narrow but muscular waistline. And below that was the firmest, roundest ass Barbara had ever seen. Even though Barbara knew it was wrong, she couldn't help herself from staring. Son or not, she couldn't remember the last time the sight of a naked male had excited her this much. Just then Paul leaned down to wash his legs, pushing his athletic butt and thighs hard up against the glass.
"Oh my God," Barbara said aloud, her heart now beating hard against her chest, "this is what he's become." No doubt Paul had what it took, at least physically, to be a great lover.
"But what about..." Barbara said. Yes, she knew it was wrong, but after seeing what she had seen today, Barbara couldn't hold back her curiosity any longer. She was determined not leave her hiding place until she saw his cock, even if it meant risking getting caught.
"Oh my God," Barbara said again, her voice shuddering with desire. Paul had been washing his muscular arms and had turned around to face her. As handsome as Paul looked from the front, with his broad chest and glistening arms, Barbara's eyes could not leave the spot below his trim, sexy waist. Even flaccid, Barbara had never seen anything like this. Paul may have grown six inches in height in the last year and had developed an impressive physique, but evidently there had been another miraculous growth in him as well.
