Author's Note: I had an earlier version of this called "Coming Home," but a lot has changed (haha, pun) in this version.
*
Kaylie hadn't been home in three years. At the all-girls academy she went to, most people went home for holidays or summer break, but not her. Her parents could barely afford the private school's high tuition; multiple plane trips a year was simply not going to happen.
Kaylie was eighteen now, and her parents had realized that if they didn't bring her home for Christmas this year, they might never have another chance. She was glad to see them, but she couldn't deny the nerves coursing through her. She hated flying, but the nerves in her stomach were for a different reason. A lot had changed in three years.
St. Mary's Academy was like its own little universe. For three years, she'd had to deal with catty classmates, stupid drama, and many girly tantrums, but she hadn't had to deal with her brother.
Mathew was her twin, but they looked almost nothing alike, and had personalities to match. He had dark hair and lanky limbs, while Kaylie was a dishwater blonde, and always had more curves than she would like. Kaylie always spoke her mind, but Matthew was determined to stay quite, following whatever their parents told them. That's why he'd been able to continue being home-schooled, while Kaylie'd been shipped away. It wasn't that they didn't get along, but they had absolutely nothing in common, and everything he said rubbed her the wrong way.
The weirdest thing about being away from the academy, hands down, was the men. Kaylie hadn't seen a real man in years. The academy only employed women, and she never left the academy. But here, there were men everywhere. Bumping up against her in the line through security, offering to carry her bags, smiling at her from across the room. It made her feel weird and jumpy; almost excited. One guy her age, with a scruffy beard--a beard!--and eyes as dark as night, had nearly run over her on his hurry to his gate. When he'd apologized to her, gently touching her arm, Kaylie's heart had done a little flutter.
This was why they had all-girl academies, Kaylie realized. These emotions were simply too confusing to feel on a daily basis.
She felt oddly exposed without her usual uniform. She had barely worn anything else in the last three years. Even on weekends, the academy was very strict about dress codes. Skirts and button-down shirts were the norm.
But for flying, Kaylie always preferred jeans and a t-shirt, so she'd dug out her old casual clothes. They still fit, for the most part, but she hadn't realized how much she'd changed over the last few years. Their uniforms were bought for them, made to their specific measurements. But this t-shirt that had once been baggy now fit her chest like a glove, feeling more than a little constricting. She supposed it made sense. She had gained a cup size or two in the last few years, even as the rest of her body had thinned out.
Finally, the trip was over. Finally she could join the throng of people--many of them distractedly male--trying to make their way off the plane. It seemed to take forever, and twice Kaylie caught herself being mesmerized by the profile of a handsome stranger walking past, but finally she was exiting the gate, looking around for her parents.
She spotted them at the back, in their own little circle. She hadn't noticed before how they stood out, perhaps because she'd always been a part of their circle herself. They were dressed monochromatically, though comfortably, in grey or black t-shirts and dark jeans. Her parents stood proudly behind her siblings, all of them waving. Aside from Matthew, she had two other siblings: Jenny, ten, and Rachel, four. Rachel had been a baby last time she'd seen her, so Kaylie almost didn't recognize her.
"Hi Mom! Hi Dad!" Kaylie waved back, as she hurried over to them. "Hi guys," she said, smiling at each of her siblings in turn. Everyone had grown so much in the last three years; it brought a tightness to her throat. She had missed all of this.
The biggest shock was Matthew.
She almost didn't recognize him. He had always been short, but now he was taller than her by a good four inches, and his lanky frame had filled out considerably. When he hugged her, she was very aware of his chest pressing into her, his strong shoulders around her, and this intoxicating smell of BOY that wafted off him.
"Hi Matthew," she said breathlessly as they pulled apart. "Good to see you."
"You too," he said. His voice was deeper now, too. He almost sounded like a man.
He was looking at her, but his eyes kept darting downward, and as she pulled back, they got this distant look to them. "You look...different," he said.
His hands were on her waist, and for a mad moment, Kaylie wanted him to move them upward--to do what, she wasn't even sure.
"Well, time to get your luggage, and pile into the car," her Dad said, and Matthew released her with a cough. She noticed his cheeks seemed very red.
They had the same minivan they'd always had, which Kaylie found oddly comforting. Just big enough for the six of them. Their parents took the front seats, of course, with Jenny in the middle with Rachel in her carseat. Kaylie and Matthew took the back. Her biggest suitcase was in the trunk, but her smaller suitcase, and the suitcase-like carry-on she'd been lugging through airports all day, were crammed into the back seat with them. She had the window seat, with Matthew pressed close beside her.
She wanted to ask him so many things, but most of them she didn't dare, not with their parents so close. When she let herself think about home, she thought of Matthew, and she always worried. He did everything their parents said, without question. Or at least, he always had.
Kaylie had learned a lot from being away. Although St. Mary's was touted as the most conservative, the most strict, the most pious school around, the same could not be said of all its students. They whispered forbidden things, and passed around forbidden books, and Kaylie knew that the world outside St. Mary's was a very different place form the world her parents had always prepared her for.
She worried Matthew was still only aware of their parents world.
"So, how have you been?" Matthew said, shifting beside her, clearly trying to give her as much room as possible. Always the polite one, her brother.
"Good," Kaylie said, lamely. "I've missed everyone, though. It'll be nice to be home."
"Yeah," Matthew said, "we've missed you too." He smiled at her. "It's been too quiet around here recently."
Now that was an improvement. Normally her brother couldn't get enough of quiet.
"I wish you could have come with me," Kaylie said. "I mean, not to St. Mary's, obviously, but I wish we could have stayed together." It was only sort of a lie. She hadn't missed Matthew so much as what Matthew was supposed to be. Twins were supposed to have this innate connection, weren't they? Kaylie had never felt like that with Matthew.
"Yeah, it's been weird without you." Matthew looked away from her. Kaylie knew what he must be thinking. He, perfect son that he was, had always preferred their peaceful home, had never protested being home-schooled, had always been happy with the life their parents wanted for them. Kaylie had begged for public school from the moment she learned in existed.
"Mom and Dad seem as cheerful as always," she said, aware that she was talking softer now, as if she didn't want them to be overheard.
"Yeah, they're doing fine," Matthew said.
"Hey, Kaylie?" Jenny turned around in her seat to smile excitedly at her big sister. "Tell me about your school?"
"Ok," Kaylie said. "It's this big mansion, kind of, with dorms upstairs and classrooms downstairs. There are a hundred other girls there, and we each have a roommate."
"Kinda like you and Matthew?"
"Yeah, kinda," Kaylie said, "except we have bunkbeds."
"Oooo," Jenny said, and giggled. "Momma, can I go to St. Mary's when I'm older?"
"...we'll see, honey," their mother said from the front seat. Kaylie winced. She knew her parents were not proud to have her away from home, and would probably be annoyed if they thought she was trying to convince her siblings to follow in her rebel footsteps.
"Oh, it's not really that great," Kaylie said, backpedaling. "I mean, the food isn't near as good as Mom's, and we have to do loads of work. There's so much more homework than I ever got from Mom."
"Oh," Jenny said, wrinkling her nose.
Kaylie hoped that would be the end of the discussion. "Do you have your sketchbook still? I remember you used to draw all the time."
Jenny's face lit up, and Kaylie leaned forward so she could peer over Jenny's shoulder at picture after picture in her sketchbook. She was glad for the distraction, but it was a very awkward angle, with her seatbelt cutting between her breasts.
All the sudden, she had that feeling like someone was starring at her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Matthew looking directly at her, but not her face; his gaze was angled downward, and even out of the corner of her eye, Kaylie could tell that his eyes were wide.
Kaylie turned to look at him, and Matthew shifted away, crossing his legs away from her, as if he was trying to keep himself as far from her as possible. His cheeks were beet red. He was so close to the suitcase, she could see its corner biting into his side.
"You don't need to give me so much room," she said, and scooted herself closer to the window. "See? Lots of room."
Matthew relaxed slightly, but didn't move to fill the space between them. Kaylie rolled her eyes. Always so focused on being polite.
"Don't be shy," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him to her side. He leaned into her reluctantly, his arm stiffening when it touched her chest.
"I'm not," he said, still not looking at her. "It's fine." He tried to pull away from her, but Kaylie was determined to snap him out of whatever weird holdup he had.
"Come on, just scoot over," she said. She reached around him to get a good hold on his hip, and she could feel something hard pressing into her arm, some keys or something in his pocket. Matthew let out a little yelp.
"Let go of me," he snapped. In shock, Kaylie did. She'd never heard him talk like that before, to anyone. Her quiet, meek brother, actually showing that he was annoyed by something?
"Sorry," Kaylie said, the shock giving way to anger now. "But you don't have to act like I'm diseased or something."
"I'm not," Matthew said. He'd retreated completely to his side, as far as he could get form her, half turned away. He wouldn't meet her eyes.
