"Hi, Daddy. What are you reading"
"Hey, baby. Just a novel. I'm trying to wind down so I can sleep. You seem pretty excited. Did you just get home? It's kinda late."
"Sure did, and you bet I'm excited. Three different grad schools have accepted my application!"
"Outstanding! It's always good to have choices."
"You know it. One is on the west coast, one's on the east coast, and the third one is right here in town."
"You're going to have a big decision to make. Let me know how I can help."
"I know how you can help me. I have to get up early. You know how to relax me good. Tell me a story, Daddy."
"Sure. I'd love to. Why don't you get ready for bed, and I'll join you."
"Okay!"
(.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.)
"Hi, baby. Slide over and let me join you. Let's snuggle together and I'll tell you one you'll really like."
"What do you have for me tonight, Daddy?"
"This one is called
Catching a Burglar
. The house was a lot like this one, single story, two bedrooms. The Owner lived by himself. He was a man about my age, early 50's, but living by himself. It was nighttime, about two in the morning, and he was a light sleeper. He heard a strange rustling in the living room, and the noise woke him instantly.
"He laid there, trying to place the sound. As he slowly came fully awake, he realized that there might be an intruder in the house. Slowly, ever so slowly, the Owner slipped out from between the sheets. He was careful to make no noise. He didn't want to alert whoever was in the living room β if there really WAS anyone in the living room β that he was awake and heading that way.
"He positioned himself in the bedroom doorway, careful not to cast a shadow. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he discovered he was right. Someone was in the living room and moving around. He could tell the burglar wasn't all that big. As a matter of fact, the burglar was quite small and moved very silently, examining his possessions. The fact that this burglar was in his home pissed the Owner off no end."
"That would make me mad too, Daddy. Someone being in here while we were sleeping means they could hurt us or something."
"Well, I'm here to protect you baby. Anyway, the Owner bided his time. He waited for the Burglar to face away from him to give him that extra split second he needed to make his move. And then it was time.
"The Owner burst out of his bedroom on a silent run and ran into the Burglar with a classic football move, and the two collapsed onto the couch. The Burglar was so shocked that there was no real reaction to the tackle other than an "Oof!" when they hit the couch cushions.
"The Owner reached up and snapped on one of the table lamps and got the shock of his life. The Burglar was a woman."
"A woman, Daddy?"
"That's right baby, a woman, dressed in all black. The Burglar was about your height and had that red hair like you do, with a light dusting of freckles across her nose. She was rather pretty, but mad as he was, the Owner wasn't about to take any chances, even with a little bitty thing like her.
"He looked her square in the eye and growled, 'Don't even think about moving. Don't even think about fighting me. I'm bigger than you, and I'm meaner than you, too.' He was, too, His flying tackle took all the fight out of her from the get-go. It wasn't a surprise. There she was, maybe 5-foot-1, and there he was, 5-10 and muscular, a big naked man lying on top of her on the couch."
"He was naked, Daddy?"
"Of course he was, baby. Remember, he was asleep in bed, and who do you know that doesn't sleep naked? We both sleep naked, right?"
"Yes we do. It's more comfortable that way. But you don't seem to be comfortable, Daddy. There's something of yours poking me in the leg."
"That's your own fault. Anyway, like I said, the Burglar didn't have any fight in her. In fact, she was scared. She looked at him, and her voice shook as she pleaded, 'Please don't call the cops. Don't call the cops. I don't want to go to jail. I'll do anything you want, just don't call the cops.'
"The Owner stood up, while the Burglar didn't move a muscle. She just lay there on the couch. 'You better do what I tell you, or else. Do you understand?'