I apologize for any inconsistencies readers may notice from previous chapters. I do reread these chapters, correct errors that others have pointed out or I have discovered myself, and rewrite portions that enhance the flow of the story.
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Jean (Mom)
I'm lonely. The secret of living a hidden life within my own home has taken a toll. I hunger for the physical contact of another human being. I hunger for the touch and caress of a lover. I hunger for shared release.
I'm bad. There, I admit it to myself and to you. I'm bad. Guilt? Yes. Initially. Now? I'm learning to live with it. Is this right? I don't care anymore. Human beings have an infinite capacity to rationalize any situation and make it seem right.
Well, I'm human. My rationalization? Hal. My fucking husband Hal. Correction, I should say my un-fucking husband Hal. That bastard. He has his life, he has his trophy wife, and he has a legal chastity belt clamped on that wife, me.
He lured me into marriage with a great personality, money, nice house, fast cars and wild parties. Maybe not in that order, but you get the idea. Intimacy? Not Hal's strong suit, at least not with me. I rationalized that as well. He's busy. He has a lot on his mind. Things will get better when he can slow down. I have the kids.
The list goes on and on.
The loneliness wore me down. Realization set in. Jean was and is his trophy wife, and Jean was a uterus to bear his children. I rounded out his perfect life and kept his ego protected and intact, and I bore his children to carry on his name. Hal used marriage and family to solidify his macho reputation. He felt that was necessary to protect his standing in business circles and in society functions that were beneficial to growing his business. I fulfilled both those needs for Hal. Now, I'm pretty much ignored.
Hal is very good looking. He has the looks and body of a professional model. He does take extremely good care of himself physically. And he is a clothes hound. Nothing is ever out of place. His activities outside of business are almost exclusively sports related. Basketball, tennis, golf, competitive softball, racing, and only god knows what else. Who would question his masculinity? No one. Are you getting the drift? Hal's gay, but a very much in the closet gay.
I'm a whore to Hal's needs. I've prostituted myself and continue to sell my services in exchange for the security Hal's income provides. I have everything I could desire except companionship, love, and..., sex. Why don't I divorce him? Because of the prenuptial agreement, that's why. It's based on finances related to his original residential building business. Good for back then, but not so good now, especially with the mergers and growth of the company. When he reaches retirement age, I'm golden. The prenup doesn't protect retirement funds from the spouse. I'll get a healthy wad of money once the retirement funds start flowing. The prenup payout if I divorce him now isn't enough in today's dollars. I would lose the lifestyle to which I am accustomed. I've tried to renegotiate, but Hal isn't interested. He is perfectly content with our non-relationship relationship.
If caught in adultery, I get even less. So, I'm careful. I have very rarely messed around. The risk is too high. Who could I possibly trust? I can trust no one, that's who.
So, I masturbate. I masturbate alone. Like I said, I'm lonely for companionship and physical contact.
This was a summer of change.
I have suspected that Leah and Chris were messing around for quite some time. Their special little glances, their body language, their easy conversation and not so well hidden intimate touches I've observed were all indicators.
Why wasn't I upset you ask? Why didn't I put a stop to their inappropriate behavior?
Who am I to cast the first stone? I had done the same thing with my cousin. I was curious and wanted to experiment and explore. I seduced my younger cousin. It wasn't hard. It never is when guys are involved. We had a great time and cousins don't talk. It was and remains our little secret.
I understand Leah's and Chris' little secret. They're young, they're horny and they probably think they're in love. Oh, how I remember that so special thrill.
When I heard Leah and Chris in the shower and then saw them run naked to Leah's bedroom, it kind of confirmed my suspicions. Young love. Ah, The excitement of sexual discovery and new explorations. I'm envious. I'm very envious. I want that intimacy and physical contact.
Then there was the episode by the pool, the two of them snoozing side by side.
We have a very private back yard; the pool area is well shielded from neighboring prying eyes. The cabana has a workout area in addition to change rooms and showers. I keep myself in good shape alternating workouts on the machines and swimming on alternate days. When home alone, I swim and sunbath in the nude. I enjoy the caressing sensation of the water and have never liked tan lines, so I have none.
I suspect, no, I admit it, I know Chris has observed me on the sly. I've seen the curtains move, I know his eyes have pried.
I put on my black bikini and joined them. I was bold and removed my top and tossed it beside my chair. A tingle of naughty excitement made me very conscious of my naked breasts. I lay with closed eyes relishing the tension of my building excitement.
Leah murmured quietly to Chris. I opened my eyes. He was staring at me. Leah had rolled over and lay with her arm shielding her eyes. Her small breasts looked so firm and intensely white in the brightness of the hot sun. On impulse, yes, a bad impulse I admit, I sat beside Leah and gently rubbed sunscreen on her firm young breasts. Um, they felt lovely.
I looked at Chris, and then looked at his crotch. "Oh my! Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" and smiled with the thought. A distinctive bulge deformed his trunks. My pussy pulsated with the increased blood flow from the surge of my heartbeat.
"Um, thanks Chris. Until I have a better tan, I do need to keep a layer of sunscreen on my boobs," Leah murmured and seemed to drift back to sleep. I turned my eyes back to Leah's breasts, gently circled each nipple with my finger, and then returned to my chair.
Chris hadn't looked away. My tits and crotch tightened with special excitement under his gaze. His cock twitched. I gasped.
My hands of their own volition moved to my breasts, pinched and teased each nipple until they were firm and erect. A look of amazement crossed Chris' face as I pulled my suit aside and exposed my pussy. I ran the tips of my fingers along my moist cleft and looked at his crotch. I nodded suggestively. I wanted him to pull out his cock. Yes, my god, he did. I smiled with a thrill of pleasure as he stroked his erect penis. His balls jounced up and down with each slow pull. The head of his cock became oh so swollen and purple.
My slit was dripping wet and my crotch felt tense with my desire. I slipped a finger inside my pussy and felt my clit harden against the friction and rub of my palm. I worked myself faster, my climax so close.
Chris stroked the length of his cock more quickly, the purple head of his penis disappearing and reappearing from my sight. He groaned. His cock jerked repeatedly and spewed his cum. It jetted and sprayed, then oozed and dripped, and formed white puddles on his darkly tanned skin.
My pussy clutched at my probing fingers and my body shuddered in concert with the rhythmic contractions of my own orgasm. I fell back panting with the exertion of my intense climax. I lay quietly with my arm over my eyes wondering what Chris would do.
The murmur of their whispering voices reached my ears. I waited for sharp recriminations, shock and anger. The outrage I expected did not appear.
Boldly I stood and said, "You guys hungry? I'll get going on some salad. Chris, there are a couple of pounds of chuck in the fridge. You start getting the patties together. Leah, would you slice some tomatoes, onions and cheese please?" and without waiting for a response, walked into the house and realized, I might have something here.
I told you. I'm bad.
