** Standard disclaimer: All characters involved in sexual situations are at 18 and over. **
___________
"That could have gone better." I grumbled, as I straightened myself out.
I had taken a fast line down what had seemed like an easy run only to discover, halfway down, that it got deceptively steep close to the bottom of the piste. I'd scrubbed off quite a bit of speed, but evidently not enough. I'd made a novice mistake and screwed up a turn. I had misjudged that final turn and the back edge of my board had dug into the groomed surface of the piste and that had been that. The world had spun, and I found myself thrown backwards, my helmet slamming into the surface.
I rolled over and pushed myself back upright. No damage. A fellow snowboarder whooped as he sped passed by, and I waved back. The occasional fall was to be expected, especially when it was your first day back on the slopes in a few years. I dusted myself off, and turned my board downhill, to complete the run.
Mountains. I love mountains, especially in winter. There's a crispness to the air, an inherent cleanliness that you just don't get at sea level. Add in some snow, strap a snowboard to my feet, and I'm happy. People talk about them versus the mountain, like they're competing against it. That might be true for climbers, I wouldn't know, that was never my thing. For me, it was a case of working together with the mountain, a team event. Of course, I was on groomed slopes, with a little off-piste on occasion to spice things up. It wasn't as if I were being dropped out of a helicopter on to mountain peaks and blazing a trail through untamed wilderness to get to the treeline. I knew what I liked, and that was enough. I had the rest of this day, and another five more to go, before it was time to pack up and fly home. Nothing was going to spoil this holiday.
*
Originally, I had planned this holiday with my best friend and housemate. We'd paid up and counted down the days. All our gear checks had been performed. Helmet, boots, bindings, board, all good. Radios to keep in contact, just in case we were separated. All checked out. Then, a month before we were to go, the idiot fell out of bed while asleep and broke his arm. I had checked with all our mutual friends, trying to see if I could find someone to fill his spot, to no avail. I'd resigned myself to having to go on my own, which was fine, but company would have been nice. I was sulking at home, just after Christmas day when my mother had stepped in.
"Take your sister." She suggested.
"But she doesn't know how to snowboard." I objected.
"So, teach her."
"She doesn't have the money to afford to go." I pointed out. "It's not a free trip. Whoever goes needs to pay Jack."
"Don't worry about that, your father and I will pay for it."
"She doesn't have any gear, which means she'll need to rent it when she gets there." I pointed out, trying a different tack. "She doesn't have any thermal gear to keep her warm, and she'll need lessons. I can't teach her everything she needs to know."
"Don't worry about it. She'll have what she needs." My mother reassured me.
I sighed, went to my bedroom, and lay on my bed, cursing silently. A moment later, there was a knock on the door. My mother stepped into my room and smiled.
"Sorry for ambushing you."
I shrugged. "It's fine."
"Look, you know she's had a rough year of it. She needs a break, something different."
"I know." I sighed. "But I had this all planned out with Jack. If I have to teach her how to snowboard, she'll have a holiday, but I won't, because I'll be too busy teaching her."
"There's classes she can do, isn't there?"
"Sure." I said. "But we didn't book any classes for ourselves, we didn't need them. She'd have to book it now, and they won't be cheap."
My mother shrugged. "We don't mind the expense. It's a struggle to get her to leave the house at the moment. Think of how good it would be for her to not have to worry about running into those little bitches."
"It would be good for her, but we only booked one room, we'd have to share it."
"I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
My mother clearly wasn't going to be deterred.
"Have you asked her?" I asked. "Does she even want to go?"
That made my mother pause.
"Well, we didn't ask her yet, but it would be good for her."
"Fine." I said, giving in. "If she wants to come, she can."
"You're a good brother." My mother said, with a smile. "You won't regret it. It'll be like when you were both young and inseparable."
I rolled my eyes, and she left the room.
If it wasn't clear, I wasn't thrilled with the prospect of having my sister on holidays alone with me. It wasn't that she was an unpleasant person, quite the opposite, Rachel had always been a sunny influence on my life. Granted, she'd changed, after I left home, and had had some trouble at school, but I had my reasons for not wanting her along.
My sister had thrown a small fit when she'd heard that they'd signed her up for a holiday without consulting her. She'd shouted at me, like it had been my fault. She'd railed against the system, but the system was without mercy, and she'd been informed that she was going, so make the most of it.
*
The flight had been uneventful and the bus ride up to the resort boring. Rachel had been silent the whole way, a brooding, unhappy, presence, so I'd listened to music and read a book. Finally, we'd arrived, late in the evening, checked in, and scaled the stairs to our room.
"John!" She'd objected when we walked into the room. "There's only one bed."
"I know." I replied. "I tried to tell mom, but she wouldn't listen. It was the last of the reasonably priced rooms. Jack and I have shared beds before, so we didn't care that it was a double instead of two singles."
Rachel sighed heavily and dropped her bags on the bed.
"It's not even that big of a double."
"I'm not blind. Look, we're both here for the week. The way I see it, we can be miserable, or we can just accept things as they are and move on."
"I didn't want to be here; I was happy at home."
"You know what mom is like. Once she makes up her mind about something, there's no changing it. Besides, Rae, you weren't happy. Even I could see you were miserable."
"Hurray!" Rachel sighed. "I get to be miserable somewhere else."
"Or you could try something else." I suggested.
"Like what?"
"Look, you're in a foreign country. No one but me knows you here, they don't know what the last year's been like for you. They'll only know what you show them. So, reinvent yourself."
Rachel snorted. "Like that'd work."
I shrugged. "I don't see why not. Be who you'd like to be."
"I like being me."
"You like being miserable?"
"I am not miserable!" Rachel shouted, the anger clear in her voice.
I ignored the anger. "Rachel, for the last year, you've been miserable. I get it. It's perfectly normal. What I'm saying is that for the next week, pretend it didn't happen. You're a new person, you haven't had a shitty year, and you're excited to be here. Leave the misery at home."
"It's not that easy though."
"Fake being happy." I suggested. "You never know, it might actually happen."
She snorted again. "The old 'fake it till you make it' ploy."
I shrugged again. "It's worth a shot, right? Besides, do you think those bitches are miserable right now? Not a chance, they're probably making life miserable for someone else, right?"
"I guess."
"Damn right they are, so don't let them win."
"Maybe you're right." Rachel said slowly.
I smiled and lightly punched her shoulder. "I know I am. Rae, look at it this way, they're back in school, with no privileges, and you're here, in Austria, up in the mountains. You don't have to worry about running into them, or their friends."
She shrugged and sat down.
"Besides." I added. "You'll have classes here, to keep you busy for a few hours each day. Everyone is here for the same reason, to enjoy themselves. Trust me, once you start, you'll love it. Once the bruises heal."
Rachel glared at me. "Bruises?"
I laughed. "You're going to fall. A lot. Everyone does when they start, but you'll get the hang of it."
"Great." She sighed. "More bruises."
I knelt down in front of her, without even thinking about it and took her hands in mine.
"No." I said, firmly. "There's a difference. You remember when we were young, and we used to run around in the woods near home. Mom would always give out to us because we'd come back filthy. You remember, we'd have bruises from falling out of the trees, but we didn't care, because we were having fun."
She nodded.
"It's like that. I love being on the snow, there's a freedom to it. You get to be in your own headspace, but there's no time for doubts, you have to let it all go. It's just you, the snow, and the mountain. There's nothing like it. Sure, you'll fall, but it's all part of the fun. I think you'll look back at the bruises you'll pick up here and remember them with happiness, just like I do."
"You really think so?" Rachel asked, quietly.
"Absolutely." I replied, with confidence.
I squeezed her hands in mine and she gave me a small, shy smile. My heart thudded in my chest as I saw that little smile bloom. Rachel had always had the sweetest smile and it was a long time since I'd seen it. I let her hands go, stood up, brushed aside a lock of her dark hair, and kissed her forehead. She looked up at me and blushed prettily.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
She gestured around the room. "For the holiday, and for helping me to feel a little better."
"That's what big brothers are supposed do, I guess."
I stepped back as she stood up and put her arms around me.
"Love you." She whispered.
"Love you too, sis." I whispered back.
This was going to be a very long week, but our mother was right. She needed this.
Getting ready for bed that night had been a semi-awkward affair. Normally I'd have just washed my teeth, stripped down to my shorts and climbed into bed. Instead, we'd taken turns to change in the bathroom, I'd even brought a pair of pyjama leggings to sleep in. I was in the bed and reading a book by the time she stepped out of the bathroom.
Since she'd entered her teens, Rachel had become a very private girl, particularly in the last year or two. Her clothes of choice had changed in the last two years, a consequence I now knew, of her experiences. These days, her clothing could be described as concealing. She never wore anything that let you properly see her figure, baggy pants and loose jumpers. Before tonight, my memories of her were from before I left home. Small and thin, with a pretty face, would have been an accurate description of her. She had constantly had to deal with being mistaken for a much younger person. Not anymore it seemed.
Due to weight restrictions on the flight, Rachel had not been able to bring her favourite dressing gown, or any dressing gown for that matter. When she reappeared, sans dressing gown, I discovered that my sister had filled out somewhat in my absence. Somethings hadn't changed, she was still a hair or two more than five feet tall, and her heart shaped face was still pretty. Her long black hair hadn't changed, although it was shorter now than it had been in a very long time, barely reaching below her shoulders. Her body had done the puberty thing, something that it seemed it had been putting off. She was still petite, but she was no longer thin. The pyjamas still concealed the details, but she had some curves now. Not large, mind, but they were there. I silently groaned; this was going to be a very long week.
Rachel hesitated when she looked at our sleeping arrangement. I patted the bed beside me.
"It's fine." I reassured her. "Just like when we used to stay over in Gram's, when she was alive."
