I awoke before Jesse. We were both still sprawled out on the couch, holding each other. I felt euphoria for a few moments. I was surrounded by Jesse, his smell, his skin, everything. God, I loved it.
Jesse squirmed underneath me as he awoke. I looked up at him as he opened his eyes and took a deep breath in.
"Morning." I said quietly. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to shove my tongue down his throat, pull his legs over my shoulders and fuck him senseless. I wanted to scream out that I loved him, that I'd always loved him. I was in love with my brother, and honestly I didn't care. I didn't care if it was wrong, I didn't care that I was gay, I loved him.
"Morning." Jesse said quietly. He pulled his legs off of me and squirmed beneath me, and it became apparent to me that he was trying to escape. I climbed off of him awkwardly.
"I'm...uh, I'm going to go shower." Jesse said, walking briskly away from me. What was that about? Was he embarrassed about last night? I would wait until he got out of the shower, then I would talk to him about it.
I decided to head upstairs and get some clothes on. I grabbed an old t-shirt and a pair of sweats and pulled them on. I looked in the mirror, sizing myself up.
My brown hair was dishevelled, and I had dark circles under my eyes, like I hadn't slept. I hadn't really. I had gotten a little darker since practice had started, and my skin had a nice glow to it.
I wonder if Jesse's attracted to me.
I left my room and walked past the bathroom. Jesse had been in the shower for a while. I was nervous. What if he was thinking about last night and was angry, or sad, or disgusted? God. It didn't even really occur to me that Jesse might not be into any of this. Was I pressuring him?
I opened the bathroom door slightly, careful to be as quiet as possible. Jesse was in the shower, I couldn't see what he was doing though, the shower curtain was completely opaque. I bit my lip, and chewed on the skin.
"Jesse?" I called. If he sounded alright, I'd just make up some excuse, like I wanted to know what he wanted for breakfast or something. If he wasn't alright...well, I'd figure it out somehow.
"Yeah?" He asked, he sounded a little breathless and slightly annoyed. But otherwise, he sounded alright.
"I was just wondering if you wanted me to start breakfast." I responded.
"Sure." He replied curtly. I hesitated.
"Jess, are you alright? It's just you've been in here for a while." I chewed my lip again. Jess and I hadn't really talked since he joined the team, and we used to be so close. It killed me. He was probably going through something right now, I know I was, and we hadn't gotten a chance to talk about it with each other yet. I hoped he wouldn't push me away this time.
He sighed and shut the shower off. He held his hand out, and I gave him a towel. Jess climbed out of the shower with the towel around his waist, but I could clearly see a large lump under it.
"Sorry, I was just trying to... well, nevermind. Let's go downstairs." He said, looking defeated. I frowned. Shit, I'd just interrupted my brother trying to get off. Again. I felt a surge of blood head to my cock, and I resisted the urge to rip his towel off and fuck him over the bathroom counter. I left the bathroom and headed downstairs.
He met me in the kitchen, wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt. I could tell he was still hard, but he'd tried to reposition his package in his jeans to make it less obvious.
We decided to have cereal, instead of cooking as we were both pretty tired. We ate awkwardly in silence. One of us had to break the ice. But it sure as hell wasn't going to be me this time.
"Look, about last night," Jesse said, "I mean, you didn't have to. I know that you're my brother and you want to protect me but you don't have to help me out that way." He looked apologetic and ashamed. I almost chuckled.
"I didn't do it because I felt like I had to." I said, taking another spoonful of my cheerios. He raised his eyebrow. "I like helping you out." I finished. My brother looked down.
"Really? You mean...you don't mind it...so much?" He asked, looking down at the table.