It had been 4 years since the accident. You don't really think it can happen to you. No one expects it, but when it does, you don't realize the devastation.
My sister and I were home when the police showed up. They asked how to contact dad. We gave them the number. We were scared. We didn't know what was going on. Dad was home 20 minutes later. He told us.
At that point in our lives all we could think about was how it affected us. Dad was our rock. He held us together and kept us moving forward. It got easier as time went by. Dad was there when it wasn't. Dad kept the world as normal as it could be.
Neither of us understood the toll it had taken on Dad.
My sister and I are now 19 and 20. I'm Jessica, she's Jennifer. She's older. I'm the pretty one. Ok maybe she's the pretty one. Actually we look a lot alike. People often mistake us for twins. I'm 5'6", 125', brown eyes, brown hair to the middle of my back. Jennifer is 1" taller. We both go to college. Not far away, about an hour. We both wanted the live away experience. Dad supported us, emotionally and financially 100%.
As college kids you relish your independence. You don't call home as much as you should. You're too self involved. When you get home for breaks you spend time with your friends. Jen and I would drop in for some meals, but most of the time we were gone. This summer started out the same way.
We got home in May. Dad was excited to see us. A lot of questions about what we were doing, how we were. We love dad so we answered his questions. Then friends called and we were gone.
Then something happened. It was a small thing, but it started our lives on a slightly different course.
I was shopping at the mall. I looked down the mall and saw someone who looked familiar at a kiosk at the other end of the mall. I couldn't tell who it was. I wasn't really shopping for anything in particular. I was just browsing. So when I saw the person I started heading that way to see who it was.
The person left the Kiosk and walked around the corner. As I turned the corner I ran into one of dad and moms good friends. I could no longer see the person, so I stopped and she and I chatted for a while.
Then she asked, "How's your father."
That struck me as strange. My mom and dad used to see this couple at least 2-3 times a month. I told her he was fine. She said to give him her love. I wondered when the last time she saw dad was.
That night at dinner I told dad I ran into her. He asked how she was. I had to ask.
"Dad, when was the last time you saw her?"
Dad said he didn't remember.
"But you used to be such good friends," I said.
"I know honey, sometimes people just drift apart."
I started asking about other friends. Most he had not seen for quite a while. He said that most of their friends were couple friends. He explained that after mom died they all invited him places for a while. He was always a third wheel. It was often uncomfortable. Eventually they stopped inviting him. He didn't mind. He was uncomfortable going.
That left me something to think about. What did dad do when we weren't home?
I told Jen about my conversation. She said she couldn't remember the last time dad told us he did anything. He volunteered 3 days a week at the homeless shelter, but neither of us could think of anything else.
As kids we loved having dad home. As starting adults we started wondering why he didn't date. Dad was attractive. At 6', 195, and only a slightly receding hairline. He looked good for a 45 year old man. People often guessed he was in his late 30s. More than once, when people found out he was our dad, they were shocked.
Both Jen and I decided to take a bigger interest in what dad did for fun.
Over the next week we found out that dad rarely went out. Work, volunteer, gym, that was it. An occasional drink after work with some coworkers. Other than that not much. All the friends that he and mom had, had drifted away. They still said hi when they saw him. Invited him to parties and weddings and stuff, but they did not just have dinner or see a movie.
At 41 dad found it hard to meet new people. Where does a 41 year old man make friends?
About a year after the accident, some of his friends started setting him up on dates. He went on all of them. He became discouraged. He said that a lot of them were divorced and either angry at their ex, or had resentments about something.
He also said at his age a lot of people were fairly stuck in their lifestyles. People had conflicting obligations. People did not want to relocate, they had jobs, kids. Let's face it, at 45 you really don't want to move into someone else's house or life. Especially if you have kids.
He said he couldn't relate. He was madly in love with mom. They did not have resentments. They were partners who worked together on everything.
That made sense. They were always holding hands and making googly eyes at each other.
Even our friends would say things like, "Your mom and dad are so cute. They act like they just started dating."
Everyone knew mom and dad were happily married.
We decided to create a profile for dad on a dating site. We would see if we could find a good match for him. We created it and corresponded with a lot of nice women but, the reality was, he was right. It was hard to find someone. Everyone had "stuff". Emotional, financial, or other obligations. We had no luck.
Having more empathy for dad's situation we started spending more time at home with him. We'd make him dinner and force him to catch up on movies he'd miss. We'd sit with him on the couch, rest our heads on his shoulders, and watch TV.
He was thrilled to spend time with us. He'd take us out to dinner and make jokes about how jealous every guy is to see him out with 2 such beautiful women. He'd notice some woman pointing at us like it was a disgrace he was out with such young women. That made us all laugh.
That chance encounter with dad's old friend made us realize that dad was human and needed help right now. We knew he was lonely.
The second thing that changed our lives happened about 6 weeks later. It was a little thing, but had a huge affect.
I was in the kitchen getting breakfast. No one else was home. I heard a loud thunk in the study. I went in to see what it was. Dad's iPad had fallen on the floor. When I picked it up it was open.
I guess I should have wondered why it wasn't on the swipe screen. It didn't occur to me.
There was an open email on the screen . I almost swiped past it to close the screen. Then I saw who it was from. It was from mom. It was dated the day before the accident. Dad must have kept it and was rereading it this morning.
I knew I shouldn't pry, but I couldn't help myself. This was probably the last communication any of us had from her. I quickly scanned it. It was long and had attachments. I didn't want to sit here reading it. I quickly forwarded it to myself and then deleted it from the sent mail folder.
I had to get ready for work. I set the iPad down got dressed and headed out. I was hoping I'd have some down time at work to read the email, but it was busy and I didn't get a moment to myself.
I got home late, spent some time with dad and Jen. As soon as I could I excused myself. All day long the email had been on my mind. I was dying to get to my room to read it.
I finally got to my room. I opened my mail. There it was. I opened it. I re-read the from and date again. It seemed unreal that this was from mom, the day before the accident. I just looked at that for a minute and let it sink in.
The subject was: Can't wait to be in your arms.
I let that sink in. Mom had been away on a 10 day business trip. She'd flown home and on the way home from the airport was hit by a drunk driver. It was 4 years ago, but being reminded of it again brought tears to my eyes.
I started to read.
"I know I just spoke to you an hour ago and that I'll see you tomorrow, but I thought I'd send this for you to read in the morning so you will be primed and ready when I come home."
Primed and ready? I thought.
It went on.
"You are the most amazing man I have ever met. I love you more today than the day we met. You've given me everything I could dream of. A wonderful home, 2 of the most wonderful children I could ever imagine, and the freedom to be me.
"All through our marriage I have had the opportunity to hang out with other women. A lot are always complaining about something their husband did or does. They always thought I was weird because I had nothing but praise for you. I love you, and I love our family. You've given me the happiest 17 years of my life."
I stopped reading. I had tears in my eyes. I just let that sink in a bit.
I started again.
"This is the first time we've been away from each other this long and I'm horny as hell."
Uh oh... Did I want to keep on reading? I knew I shouldn't but I did.
"Darling, all I could think about yesterday was getting home and fucking you. That's right, fucking. I am yours. Totally and completely. I am your wife, your lover, your slut. Tomorrow I'm your slut."
Slut? It's hard to imagine mom using that word, but there it was. I knew I should stop now. I didn't.
"Remember the night before I left. God that was great sex. I don't remember how many times I came. What did you cum. 3 times? Once in my mouth, once in my cunt, and once on my face and tits. I loved the way it felt on my body. I loved the way it tasted. I really tried to suck you hard again so you could take my ass too before I left, but I think you were all fucked out. I wanted your cum in all my holes.
"You better rest up. You're going to need it when I get home.
"I was so horny tonight I knew I wouldn't sleep. I went to the bar to get a drink to help me relax. At the bar was a cute girl about 25. She and I chatted. I kept thinking, I bet I could get her up to my room.
"I know, I've never been with a woman before, but I was horny as hell. I thought you probably wouldn't mind if it was a girl. Then I thought, when I finally do a girl, I want you there. I know it's one of our fantasies and I promise I will make it come true for you.
"Here's a picture of us. See what we missed."
There was a selfie of mom and a cute girl. She kind of looked like me and Jen. It was followed by a 2nd picture of them kissing. Nothing outrageous.
It continued.
"See honey. See what we missed? Next time we're out, I promise, we are going to take a girl home. I'm going to eat her till she's dripping wet and then hold her legs open for you to fuck her. You deserve it. You deserve every fantasy you have. I'm going to give them to you. I know a woman who'd love to join us. I've told her all about you. I know you'll love her. She's coming to join us for our anniversary.
Ok, mom telling dad they are going to have a 3some. I felt both uncomfortable and strangely turned on.
"I can't wait to go out for our anniversary next weekend. Have I got an outfit you're going to love. Now that they're older I'm not sure how we'll sneak it past the girls. How many times have we done that?
"I love that you love to show me off. I love dressing so sexy and hanging on your arm. I see all those men looking at me, wanting me. It makes me hot, wet. I know it turns you on too.
"You always like being seen with your girls. People look at our family and envy you, envy us, but when it's just the two of us. You like that they know what they're missing.
"This week at one of the work sessions I was sitting across the room from a guy I don't know. I was feeling naughty so I flashed him my panties a few times. I know you love to see their faces when I do. If you were here I would have taken them off and did it again. He of course could only see the crotch, but I know how you love to see me in pretty panties. These were the pink leopard print thong with the ruffles. I love them. They're so trashy. I know you love them too.
"Remember that time I was wearing them in that hotel. We were in and elevator, heading to our room, my back to the door. You were kissing me and pulled my skirt up to grab my ass. Just then those 2 young guys got on. Remember? Neither of us adjusted my skirt. When we reached our floor we just got off the elevator with my skirt around my waist. I was so hot I think I made you fuck me against the door. You loved showing me off in panties."
