Carole could tell Bill was upset Saturday morning. She heard him stomping around upstairs as he showered and dressed. He said nothing as he swiped the plate of toast and eggs she made for him and retreated to the living room to eat in front of the TV.
Bill had been acting funny the past couple of months. He easily became impatient, sighing and rolling his eyes over little things. He kept to himself, sometimes getting up and leaving the house without saying a word. This was a far cry from the sweetheart he had been his previous 20 years. She knew something was eating him. She was sure it couldn't have been college. He got good grades and he never sweated school anyhow. It must have been girl problems.
She joined him in the living room and sat down beside him on the sofa, faking interest in the news for a bit until she thought of something to ask.
"Bill," she asked. "What's eating you?"
"Cindy broke up with me," he said.
"What was her problem?"
"Actually, I broke up with her," he said. Carole regretted her faux pas.
"What for, Honey?" she asked. "You two looked so good together."
Carole didn't mean that. She despised that goody two-shoes. Cindy was constantly talking about Jesus and about how Carole should come to Bible study or to church with her. That offended Carole, as if Cindy was passing judgment on her lifestyle. Sure, Carole got around. In the 15 years that she had been divorced, she never kept a boyfriend for more than six months. And there were plenty of times that she would stay out all night with a man she just met at the bar. But she was an adult--42, in fact. Cindy had no business thinking that she was better than her. And she was never happy about the influence Cindy had over her son.
The two women, young and old, bore a resemblance to each other. Both had straight brown hair. Cindy's was reddish; Carole's was darker. Both were endowed with wide hips, round bottoms, and full breasts. But there were differences. Cindy covered her body from neck to ankles in dresses her grandmother could have worn. Carole liked to show off her body in tight jeans and v-neck shirts that revealed her cleavage.
"I would prefer not to talk about it," Bill said.
"You didn't get her pregnant did you?" Carole asked in a worried tone. Her pregnancy with Bill's father was why she got married. She figured that maybe Bill and Cindy had a pregnancy scare that ruined their relationship.
"Far, far from it," he said, with a tone of contempt. "We never...had sex."
"That wasn't the impression that I had," she said, surprised. She could hardly conceive of being a couple for a year and a half, like Bill and Cindy were, without having sex. "I figured that you were intimate. You even slept in her dorm a couple of times."
"I don't know how to tell you this," Bill said. "What we did together just frustrated me. She let me kiss her and touch her breasts, but only through her shirt. The same thing with her butt and her other place. These rules applied when she touched me. And even then, she wouldn't let me--finish."
"That bitch!" Carole responded. She meant it.
"It gets worse,' Bill said. "Of course, she always told me that we couldn't have sex until we got married, which would have to wait until after college. And last night, she told me that even when we got married, the only position that she would allow would be missionary. She said that you have to 'make love' to your spouse. And that means face to face. Doggy style is only lust, she said. And no oral sex either. That, to her, is sodomy." He added, "I broke up with her right then."
Carole was horrified by Cindy's rules. She was also proud that Bill stuck up for himself and broke up. She would never want her son to be stuck in a life like that.
"I know I am your mom and I don't want to encourage you to be promiscuous, but a young man your age has needs," she said. "It must have been hell. You were right to break up with her."
"Mom," he said. "I'm still a virgin. It's humiliating. I feel like a freak. And I'm afraid it will be forever before I get another opportunity."
She gave him a tight hug. "There, there, dear. I'm sure it won't be long before some lucky woman wants to make love to you."
Carole went back into the kitchen after the embrace. She thought about what a worthy young man her son turned out to be. He was such a handsome boy and in great physical shape. More importantly, he was a perfect gentleman. He took his hat off at the dinner table. He gave up his seat for ladies and elderly men on the bus. He even volunteered at the homeless shelter, preparing breakfast for 200 men and women once a week. Most of her boyfriends were clowns, just looking to get their rocks off and skipping out. Bill would never turn out like that. She hadn't had a man of his caliber for years, she admitted to herself.
But then again, she remembered something else, too. Bill did have a sexual side. Bill's eyes, like most men's, would occasionally glance down at her cleavage when he talked to her. She just brushed it off as a natural instinct, nothing to read too much into. But then again, he had been doing it more and more lately. And there was another time when she wore her sheer nightgown with a thong on and no bra while fixing breakfast. She had the sense that he was looking her up and down all morning. She even wondered at the time if she should say something.
Another curious thing was that when cleaning his room, she found his porno stash. A couple of the magazines were of the "Over 40" variety. He had a taste for the older ladies. Also, Cindy's physical similarities to herself didn't escape her notice. Bill liked a certain type. She wondered now if it all added up.
What Carole knew beyond question was that Bill really needed to get laid. If he waited much longer to have sex for the first time he might be awkward with women for the rest of his life. She didn't want to see that happen to him. She thought about a hooker. But what kind of signal would that give? That the first time he had sex his mom had to pay for it? That isn't necessarily a confidence builder. She thought about setting him up with one of her friends. He'd get laid pretty soon for sure. But she didn't want her son involved with any of those slutty bar flies.
If only I could just do it myself, she thought. She imagined seducing her son like Ann Bancroft in the Graduate. Her son would bolt out of the room, she figured. But then she remembered the magazine and the looks Bill gave her. Maybe he would be down with it. She fantasized about him kissing her and touching her with his strong arms. She felt a little wet down below. Why not? She was on the pill. They were both adults. If he didn't want to, things would be awkward for a little while, true. But she was sure that eventually he'd realize she was trying to be motherly in her own way. It might make sense, she figured, to proposition him with a more formal, matter-of-fact proposal. This way it wouldn't seem like she was a horny woman looking to make a move on her own son, even if, on some level, that was true.
After pondering this for about half an hour, she mustered the courage and returned to the living room.
"Bill," she said.
"What is it mom?" he asked.
"Don't say a word about what I am about to tell you," she said.
"OK", he said, bewildered.
"I am going to go upstairs and take a shower. After that, I'll be in my room, waiting for you. If you want, you can come into my room and do whatever you want to my body. I'll let you. In fact, I would enjoy it. If by 11 o'clock you don't knock on my door, I'll know that the answer is no and you can go about your business like this conversation never happened."
Carole spun around and climbed up the stairs before she could catch the look of shock on Bill's face. Her heart pounded and her nipples were as firm as leather over fear and excitement of what might come next. She couldn't believe what she said to her son. Part of her wanted to take it back. Another part thought that she'd only regret it if his knock didn't come at the door.
In the shower, as she washed her vagina, she caught herself giving more attention to her clit than she usually would, almost as if she was beginning to masturbate. She went into her room wrapped in a towel. She could still hear the T.V. downstairs. She could only imagine what Bill was thinking. She prepared for success. She put on a pair of black lacy panties and a sheer black nightgown, the one that she knew he liked, over her braless breasts. She thought about putting on perfume, as she usually would before a rendezvous, but she decided against it. Scent is evocative, and she didn't exactly want Bill to smell "Mommy" at this moment. She reclined on the bed and glanced at the clock, 10:15.
She listened carefully. The television downstairs was still on. She couldn't detect movement. She imagined her son in the chair, wondering what to do. She worried 11:00 might roll by without Bill's knock at the door. How would he react the next time he saw her? How would he explain? How would she? Would they pretend that nothing was wrong, that nothing ever happened? Was he offended? Might he change his mind and proposition her later? If he were to come upstairs, that would be a big relief. But it could lead to other problems, including the same awkwardness and possible estrangement. Either way, the genie was out of the bottle.