"So what happened?" I asked anxiously as Mom and Aunt Lynda helped Boyd through the door.
"I told you on the phone, he pulled his back on the tennis court. Just dropped like a rock, umph," Mom grunted holding my step-dad under his arm as he unsteadily lumbered toward the sofa.
"Why is he all bandaged?"
"His knee and elbow hit the court pretty hard," Aunt Lynda volunteered. "He's had a CAT scan, and everything looks ok, so nothing's broken. But the doc gave him a pretty strong muscle relaxer, so he's about to go out like a light."
"He doesn't look like he's hurting much," I piped.
"You should have seen him in the CAT scan! It was hilarious!" Aunt Lynda giggled.
"LYNDA!" Mom scolded, and Aunt Lynda was silent. I knew better than to ask what happened in the CAT scan.
Instead I switched gears, "And what about Grandma?"
"Your aunt and I are planning to go to Wysdale as soon as we can. Her hip's not broken, but she's in a bad way.'
"Wait!" I yell, "Who's staying here with me?"
"Well, Boyd's not going anywhere. The doctor shot him full of meds and told us to get him home as soon as we could." Mom replied. "If he does wake up just give him some of these." She held up a small bottle.
"He can have three at a time if he needs it. Lyn, we need to get going. Let me pack a few things." Mom said as she hurried out the room.
"Pack? How long are you going to stay at Grandmas? And Gabe was going to come over tonight?" I cried.
"Lisa, listen," Mom turned and looked at me sternly. "You know your grandmother is very sick, and I have no idea what we'll have to do. Now I don't want to have to worry about you, and I told you that Gabe cannot be here when nobody's home."
I turned sideways and waved my hand at Boyd laying motionless on the sofa, "I'm not exactly alone, am I?"
"You know what I mean," she said in a huff. "I need to change him into something more comfortable. Those shorts are going to cut off his circulation."
I heard Aunt Lynda giggle a little bit, and when Mom left the room she walked over to me.
"I'm telling you, he put on a show in radiology," she sort of whispered to me.
"What do you mean?" I looked at her puzzled.
"Well, he was already shot up pretty good with what looked like good meds because he was feeling no pain. And then he had gave him this injection when he was on the CAT scan table and told him that he might be a little stimulated. I know your Mom didn't understand what he said but I sure did because I remember when I had my CAT scan last year. Sure enough his cute little white pants started getting pretty tight."
"What?" I tried to comprehend.
"He got excited!"
"Oh, gross! Don't tell me anymore," I yelled walking away from her. But she just loved to tease me.
"Oh, it was massive! Look, it still is!" she laughed gesturing to poor unconscious Boyd.
I didn't look. I really was grossed out. But I know Aunt Lynda looked! Oh she looked all right.
Mom and Dad divorced around the same time Aunt Lynda and Uncle Will got divorced. Mom met Boyd just a few months later, and Aunt Lynda was very jealous. Aunt Lynda's a few years younger than Mom and Boyd is a few years younger than Aunt Lynda! So yeah, Mom got the young stud, and Aunt Lynda's still playing the field. I know more than a few times I saw Aunt Lynda trying to come on to Boyd before he and Mom married.
But once they tied the knot she gave up on him completely. At least I think she did. Now she's being a voyeur, and I think it's sick.
Then I started thinking about my boyfriend, Gabe. We were supposed to go out tonight, but now I have to call him and explain things.
Mom came back in the room with her bags and a robe, and she asked us to leave the room while she changed Boyd. I was happy to, but Aunt Lynda asked if she needed any help.
"Not your kind of help," Mom laughed, and she shoo'ed us away.
"I'm serious," Aunt Lynda tells me in the kitchen, "I just wanted to help."
"Well, I sure don't," I pouted.
"When you grow up you will," Aunt Lynda said somewhat seriously.
"OK, you can come back in," we heard Mom yell at us.
We both walked into the living room, and Boyd was now curled up on the sofa in a robe.
"What's under the robe?" joked my aunt.
"LYNDA!" shouted my mother.
Aunt Lynda just laughed.
I did not want to know what was under the robe. In fact if I had a TV in my room I wouldn't have stayed in the living room. Then I looked around.
"Hey, why don't you just put him your bedroom?" I asked. "He's all over the sofa, and I want to watch TV."
"Just sit in his chair," replied Mom.
"You can't see it good from his chair, and your chair is way over there," I said pointing to the other side of the room. No, Boyd was sleeping in prime TV watching area.
"Oh come on, there's room for you on the sofa. He's not taking up everything," Mom reprimanded me.
"But still, why can't he sleep in his own bed?" I whined again.
"You want to drag him to his bed?" Mom shouted putting an end to the argument.
I huffed, crossed my arms and dropped on the sofa. Mom walked into the laundry room with the pile of clothes in her arms.
She came back in the room, leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. "Be a good girl. I'll tell Grandma you said hi. And please call me if you have any problems at all with him. He should sleep for the next 12 to 14 hours the doctors said. He'll probably be in pain, too, so don't forget the pills. You know the routine. Cookie jar."
She picked up her bags and she and Aunt Lynda walked out the door.
Cookie jar. That's where Mom kept money for pizza and stuff when I stayed home alone.
Now it was just me and a half-dead guy watching TV in the living room. My life sucks.