It was the most important decision of Maggie's adult life.
As an experienced member of the Air Force Reserve, receiving a message like this was a life changer. Her Commanding Officer, Colonel Harris, had emailed her, asking if she'd be interested in doing an actual combat deployment. Probably nothing dangerous, but enough to serve her country in a meaningful way.
She was only offered this spot at the last minute because her male counterpart in the Air Force had decided to retire instead of deploying again. And since the mission required someone with expert linguistic skills, her services would be of unique value.
Even with the offer, Maggie had to first think about her priorities. The University would understand, since they supported her duties in the Reserve, and she was only scheduled to teach one class during the summer, which could easily be transferred to another professor. She knew her son would also understand, since he had dreams of joining the Air Force after college.
The only real obstacles she faced were all the formal requirements given to mission aircrews sent to combat zone. This was the big leagues now and she had clicked open an attached file titled:
"What Women Should Expect If Captured By the Enemy"
along with another document about how to be mentally prepared for an interrogation.
The SERE (Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape) training was set to begin in a week. It would be a modified course to get her ready on short notice, so the special deployment would continue on time. The Colonel wanted an answer by the end of the day.
Still needing to think things over, she forwarded the email to her son Jacob. It was 10:37 am and Maggie was certain that her son was sitting in the back of class somewhere using his laptop. Jacob, like many of the men in their family, was a military enthusiast, and she was certain he'd know more details about this sort of rigorous training.
Maggie sent another email to her son:
You know I'm interested. It's a reasonably safe mission and a once in a lifetime opportunity. What do you think about the SERE course? Will a 43 year old woman be able to handle it? Or is your old mother still mentally and physically strong enough to handle this? Let me know later today.
btw, your Aunt Christina will be stopping by for dinner. What a coincidence! I'll share the great news with her (should I decide to accept this offer, and I think I will).
Love, mom : )
As important as this potential mission was, Maggie couldn't help but spend a few moments thinking about her beautiful younger sister, Christina...
***
It was approximately 1:52 pm when Maggie sat in her dining room at home. She had printed out the necessary forms and had spread them across the table, eager to sign them.
Jacob arrived home and Maggie told him to change his clothes and come back down so they could talk.
When he was ready, they sat face to face across from each other.
"I think you'll do awesome," Jacob said during their sincere conversation.
"Thanks, I hope so. You know it's always been a dream of mine, I just never thought it would happen."
They talked more about what a great opportunity this was for her to be able to fly in actual combat missions, especially as a woman. She felt proud to be doing her patriotic duty, even for a brief stint, and Jacob was equally proud for her.
Something still lingered though...
Maggie took a deep breath. "And the other thing? Any thoughts about it?"
"You mean the SERE training," he said matter of factly.
"Yes, what do you think?"
"It's tough to say because each course is different. I mean, you're
not
becoming a Navy SEAL or anything. So it shouldn't be super hardcore, plus you said it's a modified course."
"I suppose you're right," she agreed, almost wanting to laugh it off. "Though I've heard that if I was ever deployed to a hot spot, the training would be rough but reasonable. The problem is, what does 'reasonable' even mean?"
Jacob was equally as stumped. "They used to make it extra hard on women. There were a ton of complaints about it. You know, tying women up, stripping them, lots of touching, that sort of thing. Time have changed though."
"Do you think they've lightened up on that?"
"Maybe. Is that a dealbreaker for you?"
It was the big question. In her 20's, she could have breezed through any training course. But in her 40's? She was still in great shape, but nowhere as durable as she used to be, especially working as a professor for over a decade. Her body had become more sensitive and her muscles weren't as strong as before. It was normal for her age. Maggie was at a temporary crossroads here.
Jacob was right. Women were given special scrutiny because of how they'd be treated if captured. Even though she'd be mostly away from danger, the training would still be intense.
As tough as Maggie was, she still had a tender heart. If she were honest with herself, the thought of being bound by an instructor, screamed at, and physically violated all terrified her. She could handle it, but she also knew it had the potential to be a traumatic event nonetheless. She had heard the horror stories before.
Equally as important, Maggie was one of the few female special operations linguists that was qualified for aerial missions. If she agreed to this brief tour of duty, she knew that she'd be a representative of military women everywhere. And if she failed to pass the SERE course? It would be an embarrassment to the Air Force and to all women in uniform. She'd never forgive herself for that.
Failure was NOT an option.
"Did you read the email attachment I sent?" she asked. "About the course."
"Yeah, I read it in class."
Just as she had suspected earlier.
"Let's run a drill," she said. "You pretend to be the interrogator, and I'll be the prisoner. We'll simulate how the Air Force would do it, only much more gentler. And I mean,
much much
gentler."
Jacob thought deeply for a moment. "I guess that could work. I mean, I've never done anything like that before. But I could give it a try, though."
"Great," she said with a deep breath. "Let's start, so I can make the decision before your Aunt arrives."
"Okay... hmmm... so I'll ask you a few questions about your name and rank. Then I'll ask you about troop locations and your mission, followed by anything else you might know."
"That's it?"
"Yeah," he replied. "We'll sit here and I'll just ask you questions. It's like an interrogation, only friendlier. Much friendlier, like you asked."
"No, no, no. I want something more realistic. Something that will help me decide if I can actually complete the training without breaking. I'm a 43 year old woman who's spent most of her adult life working in academia."
"How far do you actually want me to go?"
Maggie shrugged. "I don't know. Rough me up. Yell at me. Put your hands on me. Tie me up. It's up to you, because if I know what's coming, I won't be afraid. I need to be surprised, maybe a little shocked too."
"Hmm..." he mumbled to himself. "That's a little tricky."
"Why?"
"You know why."
She sharpened her gaze. "Are you afraid of hurting my feelings?"
"Obviously. I mean, you do hold a grudge sometimes. And sometimes you have a temper."
"We're a military family, what do you expect?"
"Then you understand why I'd want to keep things verbal."
"What if I made a promise to you?" she asked as a firm offer.
"How would that work?"
She flipped over a piece of paper, and on the blank side, scribbled down a promissory note to her son:
I, Margaret Williams, will absolve Jacob Williams of any personal liability or hardship during the course of this 'Training,' provided that all actions undertaken during the training are deemed reasonable.
Signed: Maggie (a.k.a your loving mother) *kisses*
Once signed, she placed the note in front of her son.
"There," she said. "Your get-out-of-jail free card. Now, can we please continue? I'd like to get a feel of things. This is a big decision and I want to make sure it's right for me."
Jacob lifted his gaze from the paper and nodded. "Okay, fine. I wish I had the right equipment though."
"You're not actually going to hurt me, are you?" she said jokingly. "Because if you are, then the deal is off."
He laughed. "No way. I've read that a common part of the SERE interrogation process involves tying people to a chair or whatever. If we had rope, it would make our version of the training more realistic."
Did they have rope for household purposes? No.
But Maggie instantly thought of her ex-boyfriend, along with the small box in her closet. It seemed like only a few years ago that her ex-boyfriend had introduced her to bondage. It was something she had been interested in for years, but never tried until she confided her secret fantasies to him.
What she liked was the submissive nature of being tied and becoming helpless to a more dominant figure. As someone raised to be a strong woman, Maggie had always been ashamed of the submissive streak inside of herself. A lot of her submissive fantasies were lived through online porn and erotica, as well as copious amounts of masturbation with a small sex toy she kept hidden.
She quickly pondered to herself, wondering if she could reveal the smooth black rope. How would she explain it to Jacob?
In the end, it would be humiliating to reveal that side of herself to her son, but it also seemed necessary for this mock training session.
"I may have something," she said softly, just above a whisper.
"What do you mean?"
"How important is the rope?"
"It would be really helpful," he replied. "If you want, I can go buy some. But I think the rope they sell in stores might be rough against your skin. I'd have to tie it gently."
Now Maggie was really trapped, because the rope in her closet was designed for contact with human skin. The material was soft, almost silky, yet it could be used to tie strong knots to create the right sense of bondage.
"I have rope in my closet," she said.