"Is that all you are going to do this summer?" I couldn't but ask my nineteen-year old daughter as she started to squat down for what had become a daily diet of yoga. It is not that I have anything against the practice - but to see my daughter sitting cross-legged, with those long, tanned legs wearing just the tightest of shorts and a shirt with the top three buttons undone to allow me peeks of the elastic band of her bra... it evokes feelings that are not exactly yoga-solvable.
On this day, instead of the usual three, four buttons were undone. I could see the creamy sides of my daughter's breasts.
"Daddy!" my daughter chided, pulling one leg over the other. "It's not a waste of time... besides, it helps me to relax and let go of all the sexual tensions in my body."
Don't get shocked - Amy and I are pretty close for a father and his daughter. She is nineteen, I am thirty-six. My wife is a sales rep in the city, and her work takes her away from the house from seven to seven. Fine by me, because I like to ogle my daughter as she prances around in the briefest of swimsuits and summer-dresses. Amy likes the attention I give her scantily-clad body, and although we haven't been overt about it, there was a liberated air between us.
Which was probably why sex was not such a taboo subject between us. Even though my daughter must have realized that I am aware of her sexuality, she never loses an opportunity to press the point. It was only a month ago that I hit upon the idea of reciprocating her - at one time or the other, after a particularly risque remark or another, I would catch my crotch and pretend to adjust the hard-on.
In reality, though, I was just drawing her attention to my erection.
So on this day, when she makes this crack about being sexually frustrated, I rub a hand against my crotch - 'surreptitiously,' of course. I saw her eyes dart down to my region, taking in the sight of the tent that had been put up as soon as she had swaggered into the room, and smiling at me as she realized that I had caught her looking at me.
Just some harmless flirting, I could say. Honestly, I wouldn't.
"Sexual release, huh? Whoa! That's a big problem!" I pretended to be serious about the whole thing, rubbing my jaw and looking upwards, in the manner of one who is trying to recall the past. "In my youth, there was a very effective - and simple solution - for the nemesis you mentioned."
She sprang to the bait. "Oh yeah? And what's it called?"
"It's too simple, actually. It's more a technique for girls - sorry, ladies - women, if you will - just because women have a higher strike rate with it."
"Sounds good - what is it?" She smiled mischievously at me.
"Humph!" I grunted theatrically. "Some father - I am actually instructing you on sexual releases... wait till the guys at the pub hear of this."
"Don't you dare mention this to anyone at the - waitaminute, you don't go to any pub!"
I grinned at her. "Too bad - think I will start one of these days."
"Yeah! And you can stand outside until you get the stench of rum off your body. Ugh - but the technique, please, Daddy dear?" She batted those baby-blue eyes at me.
"Point taken. As for the technique... it's too simple really. I am almost ashamed that I have to mention it -"
"Cut the crap and say it. Please."
"Awright, awright, you impatient minx. The secret's simple. Just ... GET LAID!" I all but shouted at the top of my voice. Since the nearest neighbor was over fifty meters away, I was safe.
The pillow missed me by a mile, crashing instead into the crystal jar of sugar atop the dinner table, and the resounding crash brought my daughter to her feet.
"Look what you did," she threw at me accusingly. But she was smiling.
"ME? I did it? It was your throw - you oughta pitch for the Yankees, you know... couldn't hit the side of a barn with a rocket!"
"Well, you made me throw it at you, didn't ya?" She stuck her tongue out at me, but I wasn't about to her licked. Metaphorically, of course.
"Really? I am sure your yoga Guru would only be too pleased to learn that you seem to think of it as sex."
She tried to think up a suitable retort, but having found none, she took the next course of best result. She broke into laughter. "God, how I wish I had inherited your tongue!"
"That would have been confusing - I mean, what would be your 'mother'tongue then?" I can see some of you roll your eyes at my joke, but hey, if it tickled Amy, that's all that matters. She had another fit of laughter.
"I'll clean it up later, Daddy," she promised between gasps. "Right now, I need to get some of the jelly out of my pussy."
"Ummm! I love jelly."
She shot me an amused look. For a second, I had bitten hard on my tongue - this was the most suggestive of remarks I had ever told her, and hell, even a stranger would have slapped me all over the town for my comment. I probably deserved a couple of blows to my ass anyway.
"It's not the kind you can scoop up with a spoon and eat, Daddy. Besides, the taste should be entirely different - but I am sure you must be aware of that."
If she was referring to my sex-life with my wife, I had to set the record straight. "Actually, honey, it's been so long since I had some that I thought they had unified the taste."
"Very funny, Dad, but I could swear I heard a lot of grunting a couple of nights ago in your bedroom."
"That was just your father," I waved a hand as a sign of dismissal, "Having sex with his hand. Your mother was making love to a sleeping pill at the time."
Okay, so this was not an everyday conversation in our household, but I am sure you got an idea of the kind of casualness that my daughter and I exercised in our relationship.
"Oops! My mistake," my daughter said, a sly smile on her face.
"Anyway," I changed the subject. "What's the problem, hun? I mean, what's a girl as sexy as you doing looking elsewhere for some relief, as you call it? I am disillusioned - I was under the impression that all you had to do to get some cock was just a whistle and voila! a slew of boys to choose from."
"If there was a compliment in there for me somewhere, Daddy, thanks! Unfortunately, it's not as open and shut as you think it is."
"You'll have to elaborate on that."