Ever since getting top surgery, my mom has been by my side for anything I may need. Eating, moving, grabbing things, and she drives me everywhere all the while I heal from the most exhausting thing I've ever gone through thus far. She means the world to me and she does everything with a gentle smile on her face. She's been my biggest support ever since I came out; and admittedly, I've always been a mama's boy.
My healing process has been smooth so far, but some days are better than others- sometimes I can hardly move my arms away from my body. I'm like a goddamn T-Rex with back problems! So, when it came to bathing today, it seemed like an impossible chore that was weighing heavy on my shoulders. I think mom could see that while I sat lazily on the couch, my face reading of uncomfortability with quiet grunting of frustration.
"Baby, are you okay?" My mom asked, looking at me over the top of her glasses, as she sat in a chair nearby with a book in hand.
"Kinda, I just feel really gross 'cause I can't shower right now," I responded.
Mom closed her book as she hummed with a nonverbal, sympathetic apology, "I can help you wash your hair maybe, or help you in the tub like I did when you were a baby." She teased with a smirk.
"Mommmm..."
"Whattttt!" She soon moved over to sit next to me, immediately wrapping her arms around me to carefully bring me into a hug, my head hitting her chest, "I just wanna help my baby."
I stayed silent a moment before answering, "I really could use a bath right now," I sighed and looked up to meet her gaze.
She kissed the top of my head and helped me stand, walking me to the bathroom with her arm still wrapped around my waist.
"I'll be back one second, baby, I'm just gonna grab my swimsuit," She left before I could question it.
Does that mean... she's getting in with me? Mom and I were close, I mean, really close, I didn't know what to think! But regardless, I seriously needed a bath, no matter who was joining me.
Mom returned a few minutes later with two blue towels and a black string bikini on, leaving very little to the imagination. For some reason my cheeks felt hot and my eyes couldn't seem to peel away from her midriff or her thighs. Jesus, testosterone makes you think the weirdest things...
Mom sat down on the edge of the tub and turned the faucet on, letting the water run. Without hesitation she turned back and immediately tugged my sweatpants down, and then my boxers. I stepped out of them without question, but now I felt so, very exposed. She smiled up at me, then helped shrug off my zip-up hoodie - bless those things. There I was, standing butt naked with bandages around my chest in front of my own mom. Once more, my face felt flushed and my stomach was beginning to turn in a way that I didn't felt often. I couldn't quite explain it.
"All nice and hot," She commented, placing a hand on my forearm and another at my lower back, guiding me into the tub- and soon after, following me in and sitting directly behind me.
It was hot, but not burning, the steam filled the room and it was the most comfortable I'd been in a long time. I could feel my breathing slow, and my eyes even grew a bit heavy. Really, all that I needed now was a glass of wine and some candles and I was set.
I sat between my mom's legs, but I was too scared to lean back against her, though I could still feel her closeness behind me. It was comforting.
"Everything feel okay, baby?" Mom asked in a voice barely above a whisper, her hands rubbing my upper arms.
I nodded silently, a relaxed and content smile across my face, and mom could see that.
She placed a gentle kiss behind my ear and briefly nuzzled close to me- I could feel her chest against my back, she felt warm too.
Very carefully, to make everything as relaxing as possible, mom began to wash my hair, "Here, lean your head back so the water falls," She instructed, coaxing my head by my chin. She carefully poured water over me, her hands massaging my scalp and I could feel her fingertips trailing down my neck and shoulders every time- gave me chills from each pass.
After my hair, came a washcloth with soap and she carefully washed my arms and shoulder- making sure to wash around my bandages best she could. But what I hadn't prepared for was her hand moving to my stomach, and then my legs... and everything that resides between, but she soon stopped after she washed everything aside from my groin and ass- save the awkwardness.
"Okay, babes, do you think you can wash yourself down there?" Mom asked, offering the towel.
I winced as I took it, my hand starting to shake in pain as I moved it below the water. The strain was so intense, but no progress was made.
"F-Fuck, no, I can't, I'm sorry," I huffed, unintentionally leaning back against mom's shoulder.
She placed a kiss on my cheek and did not hesitate to retrieve the washcloth, "No worries, bud, we can skip that. Or, if you feel comfortable, I can do it,"
"I dunno... maybe, yeah, if- if it's not too weird to you. I just... I feel gross, like, all over,"
"I'm your mom, I've seen all of you countless of times, it's really no issue to me," She smiled and suddenly bombarded my face with kisses- causing the both of us to fall into a fit of giggles and splashing water.
"Mommmm!" I laughed, trying to pull my head away, but she caught me again. However, in the struggle, my head turned toward her- catching her lips briefly against mine. When we both pulled away, but, there was no awkwardness- solely smiles and giggles, comfortable intimacy between mother and son.
We sighed with drifting, quieting laughs- I think we both realized how physically close we were at that point, but neither of us cared.
I watched carefully as the washcloth submerged and made gentle contact with my mound and pubic hair. My heart pounded like a bass drum against my bindings. She moved to wash my outer lips, keeping her touch gentle, slow, and careful.
In a soft voice, her lips almost pressed against my ear, "I'm gonna move lower and get your behind too, okay?"
I shakily nodded and nervously cleared my throat, hoping to god she can't see my flushed cheeks. My thoughts were racing, and bordering the lines of taboo between mother and son.
She spared no inch of my ass from her washcloth. She moved the cloth around each one of my cheeks... and I swear I could feel a slight grab. Then she moved between, running her clothed fingertip along my asshole- it was then that I couldn't hold back a pathetic groan.
Her hand immediately stopped and moved her hands to my waist, "You okay, bud?" She asked with genuine and sweet concern.