Aunt Sandi

On Monday morning at work, I tried my best to focus, but nothing I could do worked to remove the thoughts of what Sandi had said to me that morning in the car about Amy. At around 10:15, my phone started ringing, and when I answered, I got a shock. It was Amy calling.

"Hey," Amy said.

I said, "Hey yourself, I was just thinking about you."

"Oh were you now? I hope they were good thoughts."

I tried to be witty and said, "Well, all in all it was pretty PG-13, as far as you know."

She giggled but then sounded serious and said, "I need to talk to you, Danny. Can you take your break and come outside?"

"Outside? You're

here

?" I got up and walked to the front of the building and looked down. There was Amy, sitting at one of the outside break tables, waving up at me.

"Do you see me?" she asked.

"Sure do. Um, I think I can take a break. I'll be down in a few minutes." I went back to my desk and locked my computer and then ran down the stairs and headed outside. When I approached the table where she was sitting, she smiled and stood up.

"Hey," she said, giving me a quick hug and then sitting back down.

"So, what's up?" I asked.

She said, "Well, I'm feeling guilty and need to confess something." It was obvious that she was serious.

I leaned my head to the side and gave her a curious look but didn't say anything. I waited for her to continue.

Finally, she said, "Well, first of all it was great seeing you last night."

"You too. How did you manage to pick that restaurant of all places? Sandi thought you might be stalking me." I laughed.

She smiled nervously and spoke quietly, "Well, that's what I need to confess about."

I looked at her and just said, "Oh..."

She looked hesitant for a moment but then said, "I'm more than a little ashamed that I did this, but you should know that our Outlook calendars at work are set so other people can view them, and I saw the entry you made for that restaurant last week. It looks maybe like you have your personal calendar synching with your work calendar."

I groaned. "You're kidding." For a moment, I was seized in fear wondering if I had anything incriminating or embarrassing in my calendar, but nothing was popping up immediately. I tried to remain outwardly calm when I said flatly, "OK, that's pretty weird. Why would you do that?"

She blushed slightly and said, "I know. I feel terrible about it. I wanted to surprise you. You told me on Thursday that your sister's birthday dinner was on Sunday, so I thought I would just take a peek at your calendar, and there it was. I'm so sorry. I know I messed up. Can you forgive me? I won't do it again, promise."

I pressed her and asked, "But why? You can see me anytime you want when we're here. Why would you go to all that trouble?"

She said, "Well, to be completely honest, I guess I've been wondering about Sandi for a while now. You've told me a few things about her, but you said you didn't have any pictures, and that made me extra,

extra

curious. What kind of guy has a girlfriend but doesn't have any pictures of her?"

She paused for just a second and then asked, "It is strange, don't you think?" Her blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight as she waited for me to answer.

When I said nothing, she went on. "I remember you said she was older than you, but you never really said how much older. I guess curiosity got the best of me and so I hatched this scheme to surprise you at the restaurant so I could meet her."

Unsmiling and with more than a hint of anger, I asked, "So are you satisfied now?"

She took on a defensive tone and quickly said, "I meant no harm in it. I just wanted to see this woman that made you fall so in love with her. I knew she must really be something special." She paused dramatically and sighed and said, "But I never in a million years expected her to be

related

to you."

When the word 'related' came out of her mouth, I felt a chill pass through my body followed by my stomach tightening. I began sweating and I had a feeling that the color had left my face. I had to lean forward and rest on the table to maintain balance.

I croaked, "What... What did you just say?"

She leaned even closer so that her face was right next to mine and whispered, "Danny, I know. She's your aunt." She put her hands over mine and held them. She said, "You couldn't possibly think that seeing her next to your mother wouldn't give that away, did you? They're so similar, I knew they had to be sisters. I suspected something at the restaurant, but when I got home a few Google searches told me the rest."

I could start to feel tears welling up in my eyes and fought to try to stop them. Amy grasped my hand and said, "Don't worry. Your secret is completely safe with me. I'm so sorry for violating your privacy. I feel really awful."

I couldn't speak. I put my head in my hands and waited for her to go on. I tried to breathe as deeply as I could to try to calm down.

Amy stood and walked around the table and sat right next to me. She put her arm around my back and said, "I didn't mean to upset you, but I had to tell you." She pulled me close to her and I didn't pull away.

Finally, after about five minutes I felt like I was able to speak without my voice breaking. Still looking down, I said, "I knew it was only a matter of time before someone found out. You're basically the only person I've even told of her existence because I

thought

we were getting to be pretty good friends and I thought I could trust you."

She gasped and said, "We

are

good friends! Please don't stop being friends with me over this. I really am sorry! I admit I fucked up and did this thing that was creepy and over the line, but I swear I didn't do it to somehow hurt you. You have to believe me. I promise again that I will never

ever

tell a soul about this. I debated all night whether to even mention it to you, but I knew sooner or later I would have to deal with it. Please don't hate me."

Now it was Amy that was getting upset and teary-eyed. I sat up straight and looked over at her and gazed at her beautiful face. I turned toward her and hugged her. She hugged me back and rested her head on my shoulder. I finally calmed down enough to whisper, "OK. Apology accepted. I'm pretty upset with you right now, but I think it'll pass. I really don't want to lose you as a friend. I could never hate you."

She whispered, "I don't want to lose you either. I... I..." She took in a sharp breath and paused. It seemed like she was going to say something else but then changed her mind and finally said simply, "I'm sorry." I nodded.

I asked, "Just what are you planning to do with this information?"

She looked hurt and said, "Nothing! I'm not planning anything, OK? I'm really not like that!" She began sobbing and for several minutes we just sat there at the table next to each other trying to calm down.

Finally, we both were calm enough to talk. Out of the blue she asked, "She really is a beautiful lady. How old is she? 35? 36?"

"40. She'll be 41 in November."

"Wow, she looks great for 40. She must work out more than I do." She laughed softly, sniffled and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She turned to me and said, "There's something else I need to tell you."

I looked at her and said, "Oh... OK..." I braced myself for the worst. Did she somehow know everything? I frantically tried to figure out how she could know and a chill ran through me. I felt almost on the verge of being sick.

"You're going to think I'm insane, but I'm just going to say it." She breathed deeply and said, "I mostly wanted to meet her to check out the competition."

My expression must have gone from fear to confusion and finally to shock. "What? Competition?" I didn't know what to say and just looked around frantically, trying not to meet her eyes.

She asked pleadingly, "You have to know that I have feelings for you, don't you? I don't know why, but I'm just drawn to you. We have so much in common and we get along great. You make me laugh, and anytime I think about you I smile. I've even had dreams about you. And even after everything I know about you now, that hasn't changed. I tried being revolted and angry and ashamed of you, but when I thought about it all last night, I couldn't really figure out why I would be mad at you for loving someone like her. I mean, all I see are two people that love each other. But I couldn't even go to sleep at all because I was so stressed out. Look at me. I'm a wreck."

For the first time since we'd started talking, I studied her closely. It was clear that she was tired and had dark circles under her eyes. The only thing I could think to ask was, "How long have you felt like that?"

She said, "A few weeks. You probably noticed I started getting here way before I had to start working, right?"

I nodded and she continued, "It's been since even before then. But when I figured out who Sandi actually was, I knew I had to tell you. If I didn't, I would just be lying to you every time we saw each other. It'd be the only thing I'd be able to think about anytime I thought about you. I couldn't handle it."

She paused and waited for me to respond. After a couple moments, she sighed and said, "Please say something. I just put myself totally out there and I have to know what you're feeling."

I looked at her and said, "Well, this is all just a little overwhelming. You found out the one secret I never wanted anyone to know. And the way you did it was

not

cool." She nodded and looked sorry and I continued, "But I do like you. Very much. When I see you it's the highlight of my whole day. I look forward to our talks. I've never met anyone that I could just talk to for hours, but I think I could with you. I don't think I could do that with Sandi even."

She was smiling now and the sparkle was back in her tired eyes. I continued, "And, I guess if you felt that way about me, I can't really blame you for wanting to meet Sandi, but you should have just come out and asked me."

She shrugged and said, "I know that now. I was just too embarrassed to ask that and figured you'd probably say no. Besides, I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell you how I felt since I wasn't sure if you felt the same way, plus you had a girlfriend already. I figured since I was coming clean I might as well tell you everything to get all the cards out on the table. It's not like we could have any sort of relationship, right? I mean, unless you're willing to cheat on Sandi, and if you did that, I wouldn't want anything to do with you anyway. If you're willing to cheat on her, you'd probably cheat on me. I broke up with Tim because he was a fucking lying asshole cheater." Her face suddenly filled with anger and disgust as she spoke of her last boyfriend, Tim.

I remembered what Sandi had told me in the car on the way back home that morning, basically giving me permission to "mess around" with Amy if I wanted to. I thought it over quickly and decided to throw caution to the wind.

"What if Sandi approved, so technically it wouldn't be cheating?"

Her eyes studied my face for a minute and asked, "What does that mean? Like, she's OK with you having a girlfriend on the side?"

"Yes. Sandi actually talked about that very thing this morning. When she met you, she could tell you liked me. Actually, everyone at the table commented about it and basically made fun of me for not seeing it."

She smiled and rolled her eyes and said, "God, was I that obvious?" She sighed and then said, "But what kind of girl do you think I am? I don't think I like the idea of being somebody's

second

girlfriend. And why would she allow such an arrangement?"

I thought quickly to try to come up with a reason that sounded reasonable. I finally decided and partially lied, "She said that she wanted me to experience having a girlfriend that's my own age as long as I always consider her to be first."

Amy said, "An open relationship? Wow, this just keeps getting better. I can't believe this." From her lack of sleep, I guess she was feeling punchy so she continued sarcastically, "So, how many girlfriends do you get to have? One, two, fifty? Or is she just looking for someone to have a threesome with? Where exactly would I fit in with your little harem of bitches?" She was no longer smiling and was nearly spitting out the words at the end.

I looked at her calmly and said, "Amy, please, it's not like that. And, I don't know exactly what she's looking for, if anything." This last part was obviously a lie since I knew full well that Sandi was bisexual and might invite Amy to be in a threesome.

"And I would never refer to you as a 'bitch'. Where did that come from?" I asked.

She huffed audibly and looked away. Finally, she turned back toward me and sighed. "I'm sorry. This is just a bit much to take in and I'm exhausted. You really caught me off guard with this. I never expected there to be a chance..."

She trailed off and sat in silence for a moment and said, "I'd like to talk to her in person about this. Can you set that up?"

I thought for a moment and said, "I think so. It might take a couple days because I'm sure it's going to be pretty upsetting when she finds out you know."

She said, "OK, that makes sense. I can't believe I'm even considering this. It must be because I'm tired out of my mind." She shook her head and laughed. She leaned forward and put her head in her hands and yawned.

I put my arm around her back and said, "I'm really sorry I caused you so much grief with my, uh, situation. You should probably head back home and take a nap, huh? You look so tired."

She nodded and said, "I'm so glad now I told you everything. I just couldn't keep it in another day. I'm glad you didn't freak out on me." She leaned her head against mine and I put my arm around her neck and gently hugged her close.

She turned her head toward me and smiled. She reached up and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. I turned to her and looked into her eyes. I began moving closer to try to properly kiss her for the very first time.

She pulled away and said, "No, please don't do that. I need to think everything over first after getting some sleep, plus I need to talk to Sandi. If something's going to happen between us, I want to know she's OK with it and it has to be when we're both not upset. I want it to be special."

I said, "OK, yeah you're right. I do want you to know though... I mean, I do have feelings for you too. I've been trying to deny them, but after Sandi said what she did, I don't want to anymore." I put my hand over hers and held it tightly and smiled at her. Amy returned the smile and said, "Yeah, I had a feeling."

She sighed and added, "But I really need to go, and you need to get back."

I said, "Yeah, I'd better. And you need to go get some sleep."

She let go of my hand and stood up. She said, "Any idea when I can meet with her?"

I stood up and said, "It's going to be a challenge since you work in the evening. And this weekend isn't good. Maybe we could meet for lunch? But it would really need to be somewhere private. Do you live close by?"

She said, "My apartment building is right down there." She raised her hand and made a sweeping motion with it and pointed down the street and said, "We could meet there. Actually that would work since both of my roommates work during the day."

I asked, "Are you sure you don't mind?"

She smiled and said, "It's not a problem."

She texted me her address and hugged me goodbye and walked away. I walked back inside and went to the restroom on the first floor to wash up. I took the stairs back up to my floor and sat down at my desk. I tried to wrap my head around everything that had just happened and I was finally able to start working again.

* * *

Sometime after lunch, my phone buzzed with a text message. I was excited and thought that it might be Amy. I looked at the screen and I saw the words, "Missing you already. Counting the minutes til Saturday." For a moment, I was confused, but then I saw that it was from Bethany. I smiled and texted back, "Me too, beautiful." Just to be safe, I immediately deleted Bethany's text and hoped she would do the same.

Amy arrived at her usual early time and came and plopped down in my visitor's chair as if nothing had happened earlier. The only difference was that she reached over and held my hand tightly, something she had never done before. She said brightly, "Hey you."

I smiled and nonchalantly asked, "Hi. Have a good weekend?" I smiled and she grinned back at me. She said, "Oh, it was OK I guess. Nothing exciting happened. I went to see a movie Saturday night with Jill. It was pretty sucky. We actually left early." Jill was one of Amy's roommates and the two of them were pretty inseparable.

She asked, "So, what did

you

do this weekend?" She winked.

Oh, nothing much. I just fucked my sister for the first time.

"I went to my parents' house for my sister's 18th birthday. She had some friends over, so it was pretty uneventful." Even though this was true, it certainly wasn't uneventful the entire time.

Soon, we fell into our normal, relaxed conversation, acting as if our earlier meeting outside had never happened. I continued working until it was time to go. Amy walked with me to the stairs to say goodbye. Since the door to the stairwell was in a separate hallway from the work area, we could finally talk freely.

She said quietly, "I was able to finally go to sleep even though I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"I couldn't stop thinking about you either. All day. I'm really glad you came and talked everything out with me instead of getting us in trouble."

She smiled and said, "I'm your friend. I'm not looking to hurt you or cause trouble. Your situation has really made me reconsider my position on..." She glanced around and whispered, "...incest." Resuming her normal speaking voice, she said, "I'm just glad I was finally able to tell you how I felt, even under these weird circumstances. I've been wanting to for a while now. Are you going to talk to Sandi tonight? Can you send me a text to let me know either way?"

"I sure will."

We hugged quickly and I left to go pick up Sandi from work.

* * *

When Sandi got in the car, she smiled and said, "I could get used to you driving me around all the time." Once she closed the door, she looked at me strangely and then leaned over and sniffed me. She said, "Whose perfume is that all over you? Let me guess. Amy?"

I couldn't smell anything and wondered why she was able to. I guess I had just gotten used to it. I said, "Oh yeah, sorry, I need to talk to you about her."

She said sarcastically, "Well

that

was quick. You don't waste any time, do you?"

I thought about it and said, "Can we wait until we're home? It's not really something I want to talk about while driving."

She looked at me questioningly and said, "Wow... Well, OK, fine. How about I tell you about

my

day then. I got a call back from one of the companies I applied to. I have an interview set up for Thursday! Isn't that great?" I nodded and she went on, "Yeah that one really wasn't my first choice, but it would do for a while. I hope my number one pick calls since that's one that my boss helped me get in contact with."

We talked about her job prospects and our plans to move the rest of the way home. When we finally got inside, she pulled me close and kissed me and said, "Well, at least she has good taste in perfume. Now, spill it, mister. What happened?"

I asked, "Are you sure you don't want to have dinner first?"

She said firmly, "Daniel, come on. Just tell me what happened, dammit."

"Let's at least sit down."

As we sat down at the kitchen table, I said, "Well, first, you were kind of on the right track last night when you wondered if Amy was stalking me. It was no coincidence that she was there."