When I woke up Sunday morning, my first thought was of Aunt Sandi. Her final words from the family reunion dance echoed in my mind. I knew I had to talk to her, but I had no idea what her number was.
I went downstairs to the kitchen where my mom kept her little book of everyone's phone numbers, and sure enough, Aunt Sandi's number was there. I entered it into my phone's contact list and went back up to my room so I could call her in private.
Sitting on my bed, I took a deep breath and dialed the number.
"Hello?"
I said "Hi, it's your dance partner from last night." She sort of laughed and said "You know, I had this feeling that I might be hearing from you today, and here you are. Does your mom know you're calling me?" I said no, and then she asked "Are you calling me from your mom's phone or your cell phone?" I told her I was in my room and that seemed to make her feel better.
"I wouldn't want your mom overhearing you talking to me," she said. I told her that I understood, and then I said what I had been wanting to say. "I thought about you last night. I even dreamed of you. And when I woke up this morning, you were the first thing I thought of."
She said "That is so flattering. To be honest, I couldn't get you out of my mind either. You were so nice to me. Since your uncle died, I've been all alone here, and it's so nice to be paid attention to the way you did last night." My aunt and uncle had never had kids, and my uncle had had a heart attack at work three years prior. He was in construction and almost a hundred people came to the funeral. He was only 39 at the time and apparently had some kind of congenital heart defect that never caused any symptoms until it was too late.
I said "I would like to come down and visit you. I was thinking I could skip school tomorrow and drive down there. Would that be ok with you?"
There was dead silence on the phone now. A full minute passed by where all I could hear was her breathing. I said "Are you still there?" She replied "Oh yes, still here. Just not sure how to respond. You know what you're asking here, right? Do you know what this means? We need to think this over and make sure you don't get hurt. But, at the same time, it has been very lonely. I know I don't want to get married again, and dating at 40 isn't easy, so I've never given it much thought."
I said "All I know is that I can't stop thinking about you, and it sounds like you feel something, right?"
She hesitated and said "I do feel something, and it scares the heck out of me. You're my nephew. I changed your diapers when you were a baby and played with you when you were little. Now that you're all grown up, it's really confusing to have these feelings, you know? I mean, let's think this through for a minute. If you drive down to see me tomorrow and we do something that can never be undone, what then?"
I said "I don't know. I know we can't have an actual relationship, like you're my girlfriend or something. Mom would probably freak out if she found out. You know, I've read on the Internet about how people have friends with benefits, where it's just physical, without the complications of love."
She laughed and said "Benefits, huh?! So, you would just visit to use me and then leave? I'm not sure I like that." She paused for a few seconds and then, in a more serious tone, said "But, I guess I would be using you too, so at least it would be a fair trade."
Then, she said "I can't believe we're even having this conversation. Tell me something. How long, exactly, have you had these kinds of feelings for me?"
I said "One time when I was about 14, we were visiting you at your house, and I had snuck into your bedroom and looked through your photo albums. There were a lot of pictures of you in them when you were about my age now, and you were in a bikini on a beach somewhere." "Oh yes, that was at Melbourne beach. We went there when we visited Disney World in Orlando," she interrupted.
"I saw you in those pictures, and it changed how I saw you. You were so gorgeous in that skimpy little yellow bikini with your long, flowing brown hair," I said. "And, you know how it is at that age. Pretty much every waking moment has thoughts of sex in it. I have thought of you and the way you looked in those pictures so many times over the years."
"Oh my God, really?" she said and giggled. "Haven't you had any crushes on girls closer to your own age?" I said "Oh, sure, but when it comes to what I really like the best, it was those images of you. Maybe in the back of my mind, I knew that there was no way I could ever be with you, and that made it even more exciting."
She said, "Ok, well, I can see that. I was hot in those pictures, I will admit. When I was that age, all I could think of was sex too. To think that you were thinking of me all these years, and in that way, really makes me feel good. Special, even. I haven't felt this way in so long. Thank you."
