"Aunt Helen, are you sure we should let your husband take my mother home with him?"
"Yes, Bobby! Are you jealous? Are you worried that my Felix is going to fuck your mama? Well, don't worry about them! Worry about us! Are you ready again? By the way, how did you guess I wasn't your mother?"
"Mom doesn't say 'Hot Damn' and she doesn't know how to French kiss the way you do..."
"Yes, she does! I taught her but then again that was a long time ago... Are you hungry? I'm starved. Can I call room service?"
"Sure, I guess. All I want is a cheese burger and fries -- Everything on it, please."
"Sounds good. I'll get some more wine, too. Hello, Room Service. This is room 1131 and we would like two cheese burgers medium with everything -- hold the onions -- and fries plus a bottle of inexpensive merlot, please. Thanks. Okay, Bobby. They said twenty minutes."
"That's time to shave!"
"You don't need to shave for me..."
"I'm going to shave you, Aunt Helen."
"You WHAT? I've never been shaved totally!"
"Think of it as an unlimited bikini shave..."
"Okay, if you know what you're doing."
"Here, spread this towel out on the bed and put your butt right on it and lay back."
"That shaving cream feels good. What's in it?"
"A little bit of menthol. You don't have very much pussy hair so this shouldn't take long."
"Be careful..."
"It's looking good already. I've got the top part all off and now I'm shaving the outer labia. Holler if I nick you."
"You'd better not, you fucking hairdresser."
"What was that comment for?"
"When you started sucking Felix's cock, I started wondering about you."
"I've never seen a woman, let alone my Mother, sucking a cock and I just felt that I had to. Besides, she wasn't doing a good job. It's as if she had never done it before."
"She hadn't."
"My Mother sucks pussy but not cock? I can't believe it."
"Bobby, do you want me to answer the phone?"
"No, it's probably Dad. Hello? Oh, Hi, Dad. Yes, Sir, we just got back from dinner with Aunt Helen and Uncle Felix. They were very nice. Uncle Felix told me about meeting Bob Dole again. ... Yes, Sir, he's 66. But, he seemed to really get into the swing of things toward the end of the evening. He was the center of attention and he enjoyed it. I made sure of that. He just gushed! Both Mom and Aunt Helen were very friendly also. I don't think Aunt Helen wanted to leave. Uh,... She's in the shower but I'll ask her. 'Mom. It's Dad. He wants to know how the meeting went this morning."
I covered the mouthpiece and Aunt Helen whispered, "The contact, a vice president, canceled the meeting. She has to give her presentation Friday morning at 9."
"Dad? Mom said that the bank vice president that called the meeting, canceled it for this morning at the last minute and rescheduled it for Friday morning at 9 so we won't be back until late Friday afternoon. No, Sir. I really don't know why. I think it had to do with his wife, his mistress and his mortgage all being a month overdue... No, Sir. That's not a laughing matter. Good Night, Sir."
"Your father can't take a joke, can he?"
"Oh, he's just on a different wave length. But, Mom and I are worried that he's going to find out about us and throw us out without a red cent."
"I finished shaving my pussy while you were on the phone... Look!"
"You missed some pretty little curls but right now I want to taste you."
"You can't. The food will be here in a minute. Then you can munch my muff 'All Night Long' just like Lionel Ritchie."
"Just a minute. Cover up, Aunt Helen!"
"These waiters have seen it all!"
"Where do want me to put the tray?" the waiter said.
"On the table would be fine. The table over there. Not on the bed. You're going to drop it if you don't watch out."
"Oh, Waiter. How can I tip you?" Aunt Helen said peeking over the sheet.
"Aunt Helen! Stop teasing the man. Let me sign for that."
"Oh, Man. Can I a'ks you a question? Is she really your Aunt? Are you fuckin' your own Aunt?"
Aunt Helen answered the waiter's question, "My nephew wines me, he dines me, he sucks me and he fucks me and as soon as you leave, he's going to screw my ass! Now, I have a question for you! Are you longer than ten inches? I've never seen one longer than nine -- his."
"Oh, I sure got him beat by a couple of inches! Do you want to see it?"
"Damn right, I do. Drop them pants! ... Oh, Bobby, look at that! And it's only half hard."
"Why don't you drop the sheet, Aunt Helen? I'm sure the waiter will stiffen up once he sees a bald pussy!"
"Boy, Howdy! Look at him grow. I think you'd better make him leave before I take things into my own hands -- and mouth."