Foreword from Lord Odie
Politics as Usual is a spinoff of my Anal Etiquette stories. While set in the same Etiquette universe, there will be creative differences going forward that neither Cypher or myself plan to justify against each other's work. In other words, we'll probably both take our stories in different – although at times similar – directions.
In laying out the background for the story Cypher wanted to write, I was forced to define certain aspects of the Etiquette universe that I'd never really put much thought into before – specifically, the political differences between the United States and the European Union; as well as the various political factions within America itself. So here's what's been going on behind the scenes in everyone's favorite anal universe:
First, a few random tidbits that I've never formally defined: the five-to-one gender imbalance in the Etiquette universe came about as a botched genetic manipulation by several of the world's governments to combat overpopulation. The goal was to make humans less fertile, but only succeeded in making male fetuses significantly less common. Even trying to clone males often results in total failure of the process; or a female embryo.
Extreme female anal dilation actually began as a fad in the mid-2020's. With the massive proliferation of pornography – unimaginable a few decades prior – driven by the ever more accessible internet, anal sex had become anything but taboo. All it took was a single, incredibly popular female reality television star – famous only for being famous, or course – to admit that she was addicted to anal dilation on national television for the practice to become commonplace with the impressionable youth of the world. Within a generation, mothers had begun teaching their daughters the proper ways to dilate their anuses so they could hang out with the cool cliques. Commonplace mother/daughter incest developed as a natural extension of that interaction.
True lesbianism isn't any more common in the Etiquette universe than it is today. Bisexuality is no just longer a taboo; it's actually actively encouraged amongst the female population. Even today, there are two kinds of women in the world: those who admit to being at least a little bisexual and those that lie about it*. (I make this statement based on my extensive lifetime of research while dating American women. I've only dated a single woman who emphatically denied not even being a little bit curious. The rest freely admitted to being curious or having had experimented in the past...)
In an effort to make American school children, "smarter" compared to the graduates of other competing countries, high school in the US now lasts for five years. The driving and voting ages are now 21. The drinking age is 18. No one has really smoked tobacco in generations. Due to the astronomical costs of higher education, most college students live with their parents until they've graduated; normally, this is around the age of 23 or 24. Average life expectancies are around 120 years old. Thanks to anti-aging treatments and modern medicine, most people can maintain a healthy sex life well into their 80's and 90's – while still looking like they're in their 40's or 50's.
The year is 2097!
Now for the political stuff: The United States ceased being dominated by an oligarchal two-party system in 2038 when Congress couldn't pass a funding bill for 19 months due to rampant partisanship and the government nearly collapsed. To prevent this kind of political deadlock from happening again, the existing parties were broken up and the US constitution was rewritten into a parliamentary system similar to the United Kingdom. Two coalitions of political parties eventually formed out of the initial free-for-all: The Conservative Coalition and The Opposition. Although, individual parties can and do change affiliations regularly depending on the government in power at the time and disagreements on the key issues of the day.
The Traditionalists and the Progressives are the two primary parties in the Conservative Coalition. Both consider themselves to uphold conservative social values in that they fully support female anal dilation; they just differ on what they consider publicly acceptable. The Progressives want all the silly hypocrisy that exists in the US to end. Everyone already knows that extreme anal dilation is extensively practiced by the vast majority of the female population, so why should it not be openly tolerated? They would argue that it's just stupid! This is the dominant political ideology in Europe and why public nudity and the displaying of anal gapes is totally acceptable.
On the other side of the spectrum, the Traditionalists don't want to publically acknowledge anything sexually explicit because it takes them out of their comfort zones; and God forbid anyone should be forced to feel uncomfortable! This ideology bares similarities to current day political correctness, but taken it several more steps towards the absurd. Traditionalism is the dominant political ideology in America and why most people treat anal dilation with a strict, "Don't Ask. Don't Tell." policy.
There are other fringe parties in the Conservative Coalition as well: Protestant Crusaders, Mad Doggers, Patriarchs, etc. Protestant Crusaders are similar to the Traditionalists, but think anal dilation is a sin that should be practiced; while at the same time punished for severely. The Mad Doggers actually want to strip women of all their civil rights and revert them to a state of property. Patriarchs just want to see more social and political power given to men.
The Opposition is currently dominated by the Constitutional Loyalist, Dolists, Feminist, and Equalist parties. The Constitutional Loyalists are the major party and generally support anal dilation in a manner similar to the Traditionalists, but primarily want the restoration of the original US constitution. Dolists are a loose grouping of ideologies that generally want a welfare state over a capitalist one. These parties are allied with, "The Crazies" for political reasons.
Equalists and Feminists are the, "bad guys" of the Etiquette universe. Equalists want to restore the gender balance, do away with female anal dilation, and officially classify anal masochism as a disease so that federal funding can be allocated to eradicate it. The Feminists are the polar opposites of the Mad Doggers and believe that women should rule the world and men be reduced to property; although their official position on extreme female anal dilation can vary from election cycle to election cycle.
Lord Odie
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Prologue
Growing up next door to my future wife had its advantages. By the time we were married, I was already familiar with what would be required of me in regards to her anal well-being. At least that's what I thought; indeed, that was even the plan. Ashley is the oldest of 5 sisters. Her mother had left the family shortly after the youngest of the girls was born leaving the girls to be raised by their father, Bill. Looking back on it, I think Bill was probably overwhelmed. A chronic workaholic, he never put the kind of time into his girls anal training as he probably should have; but that is what lead to the arrangement Bill and I came to my Senior year of College.
Ashley was just finishing up High School and – being my neighbor – had already caught my eye. Her mother had taken off 11 years prior and so a lot of the responsibilities of everyday life had fallen squarely on her shoulders. Part of that responsibility was making sure her sisters had what they needed and knew where they were supposed to be. It also meant that when they came of age, their training would be handled largely by her. Either because of this fact or because of a combination of overworking and being constantly horny without a steady lay in his life, Bill had started Ashley's anal training the Summer prior to her fourth year of High School and she had progressed nicely since that time.
I'm not sure I fully realized that at the time though; at least not to the point where I had made the connection between seeing her walking more gingerly then she used to and the slab of latex she had lodged inside of her causing her discomfort. Don't get me wrong, I was fully aware at the time of the special ins-and-outs of anal training. Typically, however, that training started her last year of High School not the previous one as had been the case with Ashley. At the time I can only say I suspected her training had already begun, but I didn't have the proof. I remember my mind started running through the possibilities, but finally I settled on anal training being the only culprit and I became determined to find out the validity of my theory.
Now I probably could've just went up to Ashley and asked, but I feared that she would be too embarrassed to give me a straight answer. Besides, such a topic of conversation would be considered rude in polite company. I instead settled upon a direct but slightly more devious way of solving the mystery: I befriended her father.
Bill is a big guy. I'm also a pretty big guy at 6'2" 220 pounds, but Bill is in a category of his own. At least 5" taller than I am and probably 290 pounds of mostly muscle, he makes me feel small; and standing next to Ashley he looks like a giant. Ashley is 5'3" and around 110 pounds, but at the time she was shorter – maybe 5'1" – so the difference was something to behold. I knew Bill had played football in college, and I had dabbled in the sport myself, but I wasn't good enough to go on to the next level; nor did I really want to. Really though, what I was looking for was a common interest and I figured football was as good a topic as any other. In this day and age, finding another man to discuss sports with was a welcome reprieve. Ever since women started outnumbering men more and more, men's sports had seen sharp decreases in popularity; but they were still popular enough to make small talk around.
Bill didn't work weekends and I knew I could catch him at some point during the day outside, and that's when I'd make my move. It was customary for Bill's parents to come get the four younger girls Friday evening, and they normally stayed with their grandparents until Sunday sometime; further making the weekend the perfect target opportunity. Friday rolled around and – as expected – Bill's parents showed up for the girls; who filed into their car and off they went. I watched Ashley turn and walk back into the house after the goodbyes; Bill had remained outside. I approached their yard just as Bill was getting ready to pick up one of those large single piece birdbaths. I offered to lend a hand. He politely declined, picked it up way easier than I ever could, and moved it to its new position on the landscape.