An Interview with Josh

Author's Note

: Well, here are the interviews I promised. I know they're no substitute for chapter 21, but I'm working on it, I promise. And these were much easier to do with a full university workload. I hope you like them, but if I can give you any advice before reading them, it's to remember that they're meant to be conversations, and so you have to read them as such. They might not flow the way a novel does, but you have picture the characters saying these things. I think that'll make them much more enjoyable. So, it's Josh for now, and the others will be up soon. Enjoy. And review, please.

* * *

An Interview with Josh, a.k.a. the Lucky Son of a Bitch

Interviewer

: Okay. Yep. Are we on? You're sure? Okay. Greetings ladies and gentleman and welcome to the first instalment of our as yet undecided number of interviews, where you, the reader, get to put all those tricky questions to your favourite Party of Five characters.

Today we have Josh here, who, you all know, is the star of our little tale, and also a very, very lucky boy. How are you, Josh?

Josh

: I'm okay.

Interviewer

: That's great. Now, you've agreed to answer some questions for your lovely readers today, correct?

Josh

: I guess so.

Interviewer

: You

guess

so?

Josh

: Well, I don't normally like talking about myself. And I can't imagine why anyone would be interested.

Interviewer

: Well, that's too bad, because if you don't answer these questions then Vertigo is going to kick you out of the story so fast it'll make your eyes roll.

Josh

: Er ... okay then.

Interviewer

: Great! Now, let's begin, shall we?

Josh

: Wait...

Interviewer

: [sighs] What is it now?

Josh

: I'm just curious. Who exactly are you?

Interviewer

: Me? I'm the interviewer, of course.

Josh

: But

who

are you. I've never seen you before. In fact, I can't even see you now.

Interviewer

: Well, I'm sort of a figment, really. A sprite, if you will.

Josh

: A sprite?

Interviewer

: Yes! Now, can we get on with it?

Josh

: Sure.

Interviewer

: Good. Now, to warm things up – as opposed to

heating

them up – we have a few basic questions here from

pendror

, the first of which is: What is your favourite movie?

Josh

: Favourite movie? Ummm ... Terminator 2!

Interviewer

: [dubioursly] Terminator 2?

Josh

: [warily] Yeah

Interviewer

: Out of all the movies you've ever seen, you like the one with cardboard Austrian in it?

Josh

: Hey, he was

good

in that movie.

Interviewer

: As good as, say, Tom Hanks in Forest Gump, or Denzel Washington in Training Day, to name a few movies you might be familiar with.

Josh

: Those movies are boring.

Interviewer

: I see you're not one for good acting then.

Josh

: [frowns]

Interviewer

: Moving on. Pendror

also wishes to know what sort of music you enjoy listening to.

Josh

: Uh ... I like dance music. You know, the kind you'd listen to in a nightclub if you were cool enough to go to a night-club. And I used to like all that broody rock music, because, well ... I was a teenager.

Interviewer

: But you don't like that sort of music anymore?

Josh

: Well, not as much. I don't have that much to be depressed about now.

Interviewer

: You certainly don't. Now, Josh, supposing you became the proud winner of $1000, what would you be likely to spend it on?

Josh

: A thousand dollars? Uh ... I'd use it for a holiday, I think. Or at least put it towards that.

Interviewer

: So you wouldn't, say, buy gifts for your mother and your sisters?

Josh

: Oh, wait, yeah. Can I change my answer?

Interviewer

: No, that's quite all right. I think it your readers would like to know what kind of boy you are at heart.

Josh

: Hey! [scowls]

Interviewer

: Now, let's mix things up a bit, shall we? We have a question here from

CheatMan

, who wants to know when you're going to stop lying to Jacquie and tell her, at the very least, about your involvement with Dawn.

Josh

: My involvement? What ... you mean like ... [leaning forward and whispering] Do they know about...?

Interviewer

: Oh, yes. They know everything.

Josh

: Everything?

Interviewer

: Absolutely everything. From the time you started groping Jacquie, right through to your before-school blowjob with—

Josh

: Okay, okay – I get it.

Interviewer

: So, any thoughts on the question?

Josh

: Well, I do

want

to tell Jacquie, because she's my sister and my best friend and I feel really bad keeping secrets from her, but, at the same time, I don't want everything to come crashing down around me.

Interviewer

: You mean, you don't want to jeopardise the fact that three older women are willing to give you orgasms?

Josh

:

No

! I mean, I don't want my

non

-sexual relationships with my sisters to be ruined. If I told Jacquie, and she ended up hating me ... I don't know what I'd do.

Interviewer

: So, the answer is, you don't know?

Josh

: The answer is that I

want

to tell her and I

will

tell her, but not just yet.

Interviewer

: Well, at least he's an honest two-timer, folks. Or should that be three-timer?

Josh

: Hey! I'm not a three-timer.

Interviewer

: Then what would you call it?

Josh

: [thoughtful pause] Can we go onto the next question?

Interviewer

: Certainly. Next we have an anonymous person from God-knows-where, asking the question that I think we

all

want to know: If you had to choose

one

sister, and one sister only, to continue your sexual relationship with, who would it be and why?

Josh

: I'm not going to answer that!

Interviewer

: Why not?

Josh

: Because I love my sisters equally. I don't have a favourite.

Interviewer

: But we're not talking about who you love the most, we're talking about who you'd rather shag the most.

Josh

: Hey! Those are my sisters you're talking about.

Interviewer

: Of course. My apologies. So, if you had to pick one...?

Josh

: I wouldn't. Sex or love ... it doesn't matter. I could never choose one over the others.

Interviewer

: So then who's the best in bed?

Josh

: [shifting uncomfortably] They're all good.

Interviewer

: But not great?

Josh

: [quickly] They're all great. They're all fantastic.

Interviewer

: But, gun to your head ... who would it be?

Josh

: I told you, I'm not choosing. And who's going to put a gun to my head and ask me which of my sisters I want to keep sleeping with?

Interviewer

: It's a hypothetical question.

Josh

: Well, I'm still not going to answer it.

Interviewer

: All right then, moving on... We have some questions here from

Nony

, who seems to be curious about your relationship with Valerie, specifically whether you'll discontinue your sexual relationships with your sisters in order to pursue a romantic relationship with her.

Josh

: Er ... I'm not really sure at the moment. I like Valerie a lot, but even now that we're friends, I'm not sure if she feels the same way. She's used to going out with popular guys who can drive her around and take her to parties, whereas I'm the complete opposite of those guys. It's up to her, I guess. I would like a chance at a relationship, just to see if it works, but maybe it's all in my head, her being my high school crush and all. I'm not sure what I'd do about my sisters, but I doubt I'd cheat on Valerie if we got together.

Interviewer

: Very noble. Now, Nony also wishes to know how you would respond if Dawn suggested having a romp beneath the sheets with her sexy friend Lara.

Josh

: [swallowing] Um ... well ... I'm not sure. I mean, I don't for a second think that Lara would be interested in someone like me, but if she's Dawn's friend, then... I don't know. It would feel like cheating, especially on Jacquie and Alice. But then that other thing happened... Do they know about that?

Interviewer

: I don't think so, no. It hasn't come up yet.

Josh

: Oh, well, I won't say anymore then.

Interviewer

: Very well. We have a question here from

Ryno506

, who wants to know whether you would have taken Lara up on her offer if you weren't involved with your sisters at the time? Although I think it was Valerie who stopped you. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Josh

: [confused] What offer?

Interviewer

: On the bus, remember? She offered you her ... services.

Josh

: What? No, she didn't. That was just a joke.

Interviewer

: Are you sure?

Josh

: Of course it was. Do you really think they would have modelled lingerie for me?

Interviewer

: I'm not sure. Do you?

Josh

: No. And I don't think Lara was serious either. She's exactly like Dawn, and I think she just liked making me uncomfortable.

Interviewer

: But, supposing her offer was genuine, and you were uninvolved at the time, would you have accepted it?

Josh

: [shifting uncomfortably] Well ... I don't know. I wouldn't if it was my first time.

Interviewer

: Why not?

Josh

: Because I always wanted my first time to be with someone I loved.

Interviewer

: Like Jacquie?

Josh

: Well, I never had her in mind, but yeah, I guess so.

Interviewer

: And if it were your second, or third time?

Josh

: Um ... I don't know. I'm not really a fan of casual, meaningless sex, but ... if she really

did

find me attractive – which I

sincerely

doubt – then maybe.

Interviewer

: Maybe? Is that all we're going to get.

Josh

: [smiling] Maybe.

Interviewer

: Very well, then. Ah ... here's another question from Ryno. If you could change

one

thing about yourself, what would it be and why?

Josh

: [frowning] I hate these questions. Um ... I don't know. I'd like to be taller, I guess.

Interviewer

: That's it? You'd like to be taller?

Josh

: Well, what else can I say?

Interviewer

: I don't know... You'd like to be more assertive, more motivated, more intelligent, you'd like to be able to think more abstractly...

Josh

: I

am

assertive and motivated and intelligent. And I do think abstractly.

Interviewer

: So, as an 18-year-old man, your only failing is that you're short?

Josh

: I didn't say I was short! I just said I wouldn't mind being taller.

Interviewer

: Oh, well I can see how that's different. Moving on, then.

Now,

hotstuff112

wonders what you would do if Valerie were to find out about your ... extracurricular activities ... with your sisters. Any thoughts?

Josh

: If Valerie found out? Well, I don't think I'd have much choice; she'd probably never speak to me again. It's hard, sometimes, to look at what I'm doing the way another person would. It just seems so natural to me. But if Valerie found out, I think I'd be too ashamed to even try to apologise.

Interviewer

: So I gather that – in answer to a question submitted by

darkangel132

– you've never had the urge to tell her?

Josh

: I have the guilt that comes with the urge to tell her, but not so much the urge itself.

Interviewer

: Well, then let's hope she never finds out. Moving along, though... We have a question here from

Mark

, and he wishes to know which of your sisters you would take with you if you were required to bring a date to a party or formal event. Assuming, of course, that no one at said party knows you.

Josh

: Um ... I guess it depends.

Interviewer

: On what?

Josh

: Well, if it was a really formal event, I'd take any of them – assuming they'd want to come. I mean, most of what we do happens inside the house, and I don't think Dawn, for one, would enjoy the idea of being seen with me in public. But ... I don't know. I guess I can picture Alice in a dress most easily. But I've seen them all at weddings and dinners and things, and they all look stunning.

If it was a party, like a college party, well... I know Dawn would fit in the best, but then there's the possibility that she'd start making out with some random guy and end up in the hot tub with a bunch of others. And I know I'd be jealous, even if I don't want to be. Jacquie would be comfortable at parties, but I think Alice is more like me. I don't think she drinks either and she hates rap music, like me.

Interviewer

: All right, well, moving in another direction,

CheatMan

wishes to know how you felt towards Alice when she stands up for you.

Josh

: When she stands up for me? Um ... good, I guess.

Interviewer

: Were you grateful?

Josh

: Of course. But it's not like she ever got involved in the fights I had with Dawn; she just told Dawn that she was being cruel or that she was wrong. And then she'd try and make me feel better. [smiles]

Interviewer

: Does it work?

Josh

: All the time.

Interviewer

: Also, do you remember anything of your father before he left? How did he treat you?

Josh

: I don't remember anything at all. I've seen him in pictures, but the face doesn't really ring a bell. It's sort of like meeting someone for the first time and thinking they look familiar. Occasionally, I'll remember something that he was a part of, like a birthday party, but I usually remember my sisters and my mom a lot more.

Interviewer

: Do you remember how he felt about you?

Josh

: No, but I can't imagine he felt very affectionate.

Interviewer

: And does that bother you?

Josh

: No. I've never known anything other than the way I live now, so I can't miss him. And being the only guy in the house does have its benefits. [grins]

Interviewer

: Evidently. On that note, Darkangel asks whether you've had the desire to take over the role of 'man of the house', instead of leaving it to Jacquie.

Josh

: What? Jacquie's not the man of the house! She cooks and stuff. She's the

woman

of the house, as well as mom, of course. But what do you mean by becoming the man of the house?

Interviewer

: Well, for instance, you might go out and get a job to support the family, fix things around the house ... stuff like that.

Josh

: But that'd be

more

work.

Interviewer

: Yes.

Josh

: I think I'll stay as the baby of the family for now.

Interviewer

: A big, loud-mouthed baby with a face only a mother could love?

Josh

: And three gorgeous sisters! [smirks]

Interviewer

: Yes, well ... [incoherent mumbling] ... let's move on, shall we?

Goonie

Boy

is rather curious to know whether... [chuckles]

Josh

: [frowning] What?

Interviewer

: Ahem. He's ... uh ... curious to know whether the presence of four females in your life has led to any sort of ... identity issues.

Josh

: Like what?

Interviewer

: Well, to use Goonie's example: dressing up in your sisters' clothes.

Josh

: WHAT!? I don't do that.

Interviewer

: But

have

you ... in the past?

Josh

: NO! Of course not. I'm not a transvestite.

Interviewer

: So you've never found yourself modelling any of your sisters' clothes for, say, a particular sympathetic mirror?

Josh

: [shifting uncomfortably] Well, not willingly.

Interviewer

: And what do you mean by that?

Josh

: [blushing] Nothing. Just one of Dawn's pranks. Can we move on, please?

Interviewer

: Of course. We wouldn't want to embarrass you now. Uh ... on second thoughts, here's another embarrassing question.

Josh

: [mumbling]

Interviewer

: I'm sorry, what was that?

Josh

: [innocently] Nothing. I was just clearing my throat.

Interviewer

: And when you usually clear your throat, does it tend to rhyme with 'plastered'?

Josh

: I thought you had another question?

Interviewer

: Quite right. [distrustful glare] Now, an anonymous reader asks whether you would have asked out Valerie, had your skin problem proved to be more tenacious than it was.

Josh

: [blushing]

Interviewer

: [smiling sinisterly]

Josh

: Uh ... probably not.

Interviewer

: And why is that?

Josh

: [glaring] Because I would have been too embarrassed. Anyone who's suffered from bad acne knows how completely and utterly horrible it is. It's hard enough to talk to anyone with that ...

pox

on your face, let alone the girl of your dreams.

Interviewer

: I take it you don't have a very flattering opinion of acne?

Josh

: If I ever met the physical manifestation of acne, I'd pummel it to within an inch of its life, revive it with a defibrillator, and then do the same thing over and over again for six hours a day.

Interviewer

: Only six?

Josh

: Well, I'd still want to spend some time with my sisters.

Interviewer

: Of course. Next, we have a question from

ryno506

, who speculates as to the likelihood of Alice displaying what he deems, 'Dawn-like behaviour', considering that Jacquie has been known to act ... somewhat lasciviously at times.

Josh

: [laughs] Uh, I can't really see that happening.

Interviewer

: Why not?

Josh

: Because Alice is Alice and Dawn is Dawn.

Interviewer

: Oh, well that makes perfect sense. But you don't think Alice might ever display a more ... overt sexual desire towards you?

Josh

: Well, if you're asking me whether she'd start 'talking dirty', then I doubt it. But Alice is like everyone else, I guess, and so am I, so ... we do what we want to do.

Interviewer

: So I take it you're not always 'making love', as you call it?

Josh

: [clearing throat] Not always.

Interviewer

: Does Alice have a wild side?

Josh

: Not telling.

Interviewer

: Omitting a reply is more likely to confirm the question, you know?

Josh

: You can interpret it however you like – I don't mind.

Interviewer

: Very well then. Uh ... I think that's all the questions we have for now, so...

Josh

: That's all? I was just starting to have fun.

Interviewer

: Well, unfortunately, most of your readers seem to be more interested in your sisters.

Josh

:

How

interested?

Interviewer

: They're asking them

questions

. Honestly, you could be a bit less paranoid.

Josh

: [narrows eyes]

Interviewer

: Well, I think that about does things for today. Josh, it's a been a pleasure, and I want you to know that whilst I came into this interview thinking you were nothing more than a snotty little runt, my opinion hasn't changed at all.

Josh

: Thanks, because I really value your opinion, you know. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go home and make out with Jacquie, or Dawn, or Alice ... any one of them really. And what are you going to do? Oh, you're going to steam at the ears. Well, good luck with that. Bye, guys!