Amy - Points of View

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to ANYONE is completely coincidental. Anyone who engages in any "activity" is well over the age of 18.

Author's Note: Authors love hearing from their readers and I'm no exception, it feeds our egos. I love to interact with readers (except the homophobes).

Okay. Message Received. No more questionable cliffhangers. Wow. Also, I wanted to address a couple of comments. No, Cal is not the father. Oh fuck no. I'm sorry if that was misconstrued/misunderstood/miscommunicated. It was never my intent. No, Dave is the poppa.

This is a long chapter and though a couple of sad things happen I think it is a much happier chapter and I had a lot of fun writing it. The structure of this chapter is a little different, the parts being written from the point of view of different family members.

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So, what do you do when you're forty nine years old and you get knocked up by your long-lost twin brother? Well, we saw the stage where Amy freaked out but let's see what happens next.

Amy: Points of View

Part I, Rose

Hi folks, Rose here! Daddy asked me to write a little bit about what happened after Amy wigged out and left. He thought someone else's perspective would help him in the end and maybe help you, too. I think he has a few of the others writing, too.

I want to take a moment and alleviate a concern you may have. I mean it was a concern that admittedly, Sophie, Lys, and I had, but Daddy came through for us in one major respect. You want to know if he started drinking again. I'm really happy to say that he did not. He did withdraw some but nothing like when Mom died. He threw himself into his work and from what I could see he and his buddies got a lot done. I'm digressing here, aren't I. Okay, let's get to why you're reading.

So, Aunt Amy left Daddy the night before she was going to tell the rest of her family about what had been going on all summer and about the baby. She never said a word to any of us as to why she left the way she did and needless to say, Clare, Sophie, Lys, and I were furious with her. Lys almost quit the funeral home, but Daddy talked her into staying. We girls encouraged her to stay, too, but for differing reasons. Daddy didn't want her to blow her career, and we knew that of all of us she was the one most likely to figure out just what the hell happened.

Chris took the separation especially hard. He loved Daddy and didn't understand why his mother pulled them away so abruptly and without explanation. To Chris it was like losing a second father in just a handful of months.

I know this is very "high level" as Daddy would call it. I'm trying to sound objective but the reality of it, especially the first week, was a complete shit show. I know how things worked out and months later I'm STILL trying to work everything out.

Daddy, as I hinted at, didn't take it well, either and that's putting it mildly. I was relieved when he didn't fall back into drink. I had a feeling that if he had he wouldn't have made it back from that hole this time. The first week Daddy was clearly just confused. When he returned to working on his game, he did so full force and he insisted that if Amy needed space, then we were to give her space. It did get bad though, when about two weeks later Amy asked Daddy to stop coming to the doctor's appointments with her. He was deeply hurt by that. There was no explanation, and Amy simply didn't want to answer if anyone asked.

Daddy got mad. His fuse shortened and he would spend hours just staring into space whenever he wasn't working. His eyes were shiny, and his mouth was in a permanent frown. I spent as much time with him as my work would allow because David Seth was one of the few things that seemed to break him out of the angry funk.

During the initial weeks I kept my mouth shut. You'll never get Daddy to admit this, but Mom used to feel like she had to fight every battle that came her way no matter how small or trivial. When Mom got going, she was a force of nature and often you could see the exhaustion in Daddy's eyes. Those first weeks after Amy left, I could see that exhaustion in his eyes which is why until Clare came to see me, I kept to myself. I didn't want to exhaust him further. I had assumed Chris took their separation the hardest of all of us. But after Clare came to visit, I realized Clare was just as confused and hurt.

Uncle Cal wound up having to surrender his license until his health improved. The DMV didn't want him driving with his potential for heart failure, so he decided to loan his car to Clare to use. Clare was thrilled and Amy was touched. When Clare came to see me, she told me that she wanted to go to see Dad but didn't feel that her mom would approve.

That was the last straw. One day after school I decided to drop by the funeral home after making sure Clare was at work. Amy came to the door as I came through it. She had the hint of a baby bump already and looked beautiful.

"Have you come to yell at me too," she asked.

I shook my head, "No, Aunt Amy. Whatever is going on between you and Daddy is none of my business."

Amy sighed and apologized for jumping on me. I could see how tired she was already, and I could hear Lys banging around in the office and I immediately knew exactly who had been yelling at her.

"No," I said, "I want to talk about Clare and Chris. They want to go see Daddy, but they think it would upset you."

Amy looked genuinely surprised. "What? Of course they should go see your dad. I would never want to keep them apart."

I put on my best teacher smile and said, "Maybe you should tell them that."

Amy agreed to talk to Chris and Clare as soon as Clare got home from work. Looking over Amy's shoulder I saw Lys mouthing "Thank you" to me.

Part II: Lys

The first day I was back at the funeral home after Amy left, I was spitting angry. I tied my money and my future to the woman who single-handedly rescued my father-in-law from the purgatory and then kicked him right back into it. What the fuck was I supposed to do? More importantly, what the fuck was I supposed to do for Pop?

I walked into work, right past Joe, the assistant director that Amy had hired. He was already overworked, the poor man, as both Amy and I were pregnant, and I was in school. He had to do all the chemical work and on days when Amy wasn't up to it or I was in a class he had to do all the front-end work with the families, as well. "The pregnant women need to have an argument," I said to him. Without a word he went down to the basement not wanting to be in the middle of the fire.

"Just what the fuck is wrong with you," I demanded.

"Lys, it really isn't any of your business," Amy protested.

"Pop IS my business. I just spent three years keeping him from..." I couldn't say it, but Amy blanched, understanding what I was saying, "And for whatever fucked up reason you just fucked that up! If he spirals again, I don't know if we can stop it."

Amy remained very calm, but I could see something in her eyes. Was it remorse? "Are you going to quit," she asked me.

"Do you want me to," I spat back at her.

"No, Lys, I don't. Do you want to?" her façade was beginning to crack.

"Yes!" I hissed, "but Sophie talked me out of it."

Amy sat down and began to cry. "What does David say?"

"He hasn't said a damn thing. Barely said a word since you left. Amy, please tell me what the hell is going on? Help me understand why you did this to Pop."

"My parents," she replied between sniffles.

"What? What about them?"

"How can I tell them that I am pregnant with my biological twin brother's baby?"

I understood what she was saying but I remained confused. "You planned on doing just that the next day at dinner. What changed?"

"The confirmation on the DNA test. Until we got that, there was still a chance that what Dave and I were doing wasn't so ---dangerous."

So, friends and readers, there it was. Knowing the truth didn't abate my anger even though I finally understood. "Are you ashamed of what you and Pop had?"

Yes, I used the past tense on their relationship on purpose. Amy caught it and visibly winced. Good.

"No,' Amy admitted.

"But..."

"I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't want them to be horrified by me. I don't want them to think I'm some sick freak."

I sat down at my desk, trying to keep calm. I mean I got it, I did. But the evidence of the relationship was pretty obvious and soon would be rather large. "How do you plan on explaining that you're pregnant to them? It won't take a genius to put it together."

Amy's eyes were conflicted and haunted. I knew the look. I used to see it in the mirror. My anger mostly evaporated, and I wanted to give her a hug. I knew what it was like to hide this kind of secret from your parents. I knew what it was like to be closeted. And only Amy could do this for herself.

"I... see, " I said, "but this is what was said to me a long time ago: 'you can't let hiding in the closet ruin more lives than just yours.'"

Part III: Clare

We were well into the end of September now. The fall of 2023 was in full progress. I always was amused how this season was called Fall. It was the Fall of the year, and I never could get my head around the people who liked it over spring and summer. My dad, my REAL dad, not that wife beating loser, thought the same way. Fuck I missed him. Anyway, I still had zero insight into what the hell my mom was thinking.

I had an inkling that it had something to do with my grandparents, but it wasn't like mom was talking to anyone. I think she might have said something to Lys because Lys wasn't as angry. She wasn't fucking happy with Mom, but I think they reached some kind of understanding. Much to everyone's surprise Lys didn't quit which relieved Mom and I think even the new guy, Joe, too.

I got a huge surprise when Uncle Cal lost his license. He gave me his car to use for my 17th birthday and that made going to and from work and school a lot easier.

Unfortunately, this is when Mom got weird. Well, she got weirder. She told Dad that he didn't need to come to the doctor's appointments. She assured us all that the baby was fine but told Dad that he didn't need to come. It was a statement that sounded optional, but it was clear that she didn't want him there. Well, this just pissed everyone off again. Lys barely spoke to her at work, and I even ripped her a new hole one day before work.

I'm not proud of myself for yelling at a pregnant woman who also happens to be my mother. It didn't make me feel better, it actually made me feel worse. The whole time I lit her up she just sat there, taking it. She never told me to stop, she never said a word in her defense. Mom simply sat there and took it and that scared the shit out of me.

After I yelled at her, I heard Lys yelling at her as I left for work. I passed Rose on my way to the car. "Gonna yell at mom?"

"Maybe," Rose said.

I know now that after her conversation with Rose, Chris and I were going to be encouraged to go see Dad. That made things better for us, but there I still didn't have any satisfying answers.

The first time we went to Dad's I knew that I cried. Chris and I were just so relieved to be there. I cried, Chris cried, and I'm pretty certain Dad cried. But shit, it was the best that I felt for weeks.

Part IV: Amy

I am probably the last person that you want to hear from right about now. You've read my reasoning from the conversation that I had with Lys, and I am aware that it doesn't excuse my behavior or what I did to Dave. As much as everyone, except Sophie, had told me off (believe me if you want), nobody has been harder on me than me. Truly, Sophie just stopped talking to me altogether, which is probably a blessing.

October passed. Lys and I were growing more pregnant and the kids began to visit Dave regularly. They spent Halloween with him. He took them all over town and they had a ball. I spent the night with my friend Erin who threatened to make a move on Dave if I didn't get my head out of my ass.

Nobody believed me when I told them that I only needed time to think. Dave claimed to believe me, but I know he was lying to keep the peace. So, we went into November status-quo and it hurt me. I didn't want to leave Dave. Every night I wanted to drive over to his house and jump into his arms. I had no idea how to correct my mistake nor did I even know if David wanted anything to do with me.

It was later that week, the first week of November, that things began to turn. I took a call on the customer line at the home.

"Is this Amy," a distraught voice asked.

"Yes, this is Amy Fries. Who is this?"

"It's Alice. Alice Drake, your sister-in-law."

Alice was Cal's wife. I'd met her maybe twice if that. She was a sweet woman but too passive for my tastes. There was something in her tone. Something desperate.

"Alice, is something wrong," I asked

"Cal's gone," she sobbed into the phone.

"Gone? Where did he go?" I knew the answer, but my mind wouldn't accept it. Ironic considering my profession.

"His heart stopped," Alice said, "he's gone."

I was glad that I was sitting down. Alice went on to tell me how a month ago Cal stopped taking his medicine. He passed away this morning at breakfast.

"I'm going to call Dean," she told me, "Can you call David? I don't think he likes me very much."

I truthfully told her that I didn't think he liked me very much right now, either, but I would call him. Finally, Alice asked me to manage the funeral, and I agreed. This is the funeral that everyone in the industry dreads; that of a family member.

I hung up the phone and called David. He sounded distracted when he answered which meant he was deeply involved in working. At least he didn't sound upset to hear from me, which I was certain he would.

"I just got off the phone with Alice, Cal's wife," I began.

"What did he do now," Dave asked, the irritation now entering his voice. I knew that even bringing up Cal could be enough to ruin his day.

"He died this morning," I almost whispered.

"What," Dave asked. The typing noise in the background stopped. Dave's voice was flat and almost hollow.

"She said that he stopped taking his meds last month and that his heart just stopped this morning."

"I'm on my way over," said and hung up the phone.

Was I happy or nervous that Dave was coming? I don't know for sure. Both? Neither? This was going to be the first real conversation that he and I had since I moved out. Lys was in downstairs in the "quiet room" in an online class, so I decided to hold off telling her for the moment. I sat in my office, holding my baby bump, waiting for the arrival of my twin.

Part V: Dave

I hung up the phone and told the guys on the chat server what happened. They both offered sincere condolences even though Jags knew my feelings on Cal. The truth is, there were no feelings, but we'll get that that in a minute.

I threw on warm clothing and drove to the funeral home. On the way I called Aunt Ellie so she could start the chain and then I called Dean to confirm he was on his way to the funeral home as well. He was a mess. Dean was the older brother, and he thought this was against natural law. He thought he should have gone first.

When I got to the funeral home, I went inside and the new guy, Joe, I think his name was, shook my hand and offered even more condolences. I think academically he knew I was part owner but to him I was a customer at the moment, and he did his job well. For some reason, I instantly liked him. He opened the door to the office and Amy rushed to me, sobbing.

Yeah, I was still mad at her, but I still loved her. I missed her terribly and when the woman you love sobs into your arms that her brother has died you suck up any anger and you comfort her. I returned the hug.

"Why," she managed to choke out.

Honestly it was the same question that I had asked myself. I had no idea why Cal would stop taking his medication. He had to know what it would do. His doctor was Sophie, I KNEW that he knew what would happen. The words "slow suicide" played in my mind, but I didn't say it out loud.

I held the sobbing Amy in my arms. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her, comfort her, and remind her how much I loved her. Okay, I wanted to fuck her, but I think that was a trauma response. As those thoughts ran through my mind Amy asked me if I was okay.

"With what? Cal or you leaving me?" It was cold sounding, it was angry, and it slipped out.

"I..." she stopped before she said something she knew would just piss me off, "about Cal."

"I don't know," I said truthfully as we sat down, "I don't know what I feel. I'm not a monster, I didn't want him to die or even be sick. But he'd been such a cunt to me my entire life that I just don't feel anything."

"That's my fault," she muttered, "he treated you like shit because your parents chose you over me. It's my fault."

"BULLSHIT!"

Amy looked shocked.

"It isn't your fault or even Mom and Dad's. It was Cal's fault. HE chose to be a cunt, nobody chose that for him."

Amy and I sat silently with her in my arms. She began to speak, and I began to say, "Come home," at the same time the office door opened. Dean and Alice came into the office with Joe in tow. Everyone began to talk arrangements so I excused myself saying that I needed to call Rose and Sophie.

I sat in the lobby for some time, calling one daughter and then the next, trying to remember what it was like to feel something.

Part VI: Amy

It took over a week to get Cal's body. Of course they had done an autopsy because of the suddenness of his death. "Sudden Acute Congestive Heart Failure" was on the death certificate.

"Nothing sudden about it," Sophie growled when she read it. That was all she said. She still wasn't talking to me.

Joe prepared the body while Lys insisted on watching and learning. Lys reasoned with me and talked me into sitting it out entirely. She was right of course. It was infuriating but she was right. When I mentioned it to David he told that Lys was always right and that I should get used to it.

The day of the funeral arrived and all of my family and even my adoptive family came to the service. A lot of people came; it was comforting.

David, Dean, and I stood quietly together with Alice at the casket. I was actually nervous about how I was going to be introduced to any local family that showed up, not to mention how my own family was going to take what was now an obvious baby bump!

Most of my concern was alleviated right away. Outside of the Borden family, there weren't a lot of other family members. The Drakes were spread thin. There was one woman on the Drake bench that simply stared at me with hostility.

"Who is she," I asked Dave, pointing to the woman.

"Katie. That's Katie," Dave answered.

"My wife," Dean said.

So that was Dean's mysterious wife and oft absent wife. I looked at my brothers, startled, "Why does she look so..."

"Angry? I don't know. Right before Dad died, she got," Dave began.

"Funny," Dean finished.

Dave quietly promised to explain what he could later, and the people still kept coming. Dean and David had been so quiet all morning; David because he knew that if anyone engaged him with how sorry they were about Cal he was likely to start telling the truth and Dean because he was going to be delivering the Eulogy. That morning, I asked David if he wanted to speak but he firmly declined. Rose told me that was normal and that death, even the death of someone who regularly pissed Dave off just doesn't sit well with him. Rose believed it had to do with the age of our family and the sheer amount of loss that David had to deal with at a young age.

The service began and I took my seat with my brothers. The pastor did a fine job and Dean spoke with a great deal of dignity. He spoke about how Cal was always a wonderful brother. Yes, David scoffed, but Dean told several stories about Cal, and one was how Cal would take David's stories to school with him when Cal was in high school. The stories would always impress Cal's teachers. Dean told us how Cal was always bragging about how smart David was, and how Cal made sure that all their cars were maintained. He talked about how Cal loved to talk Star Trek with Dave, each having unique views.