All a-Twitter

It was a typical late Friday afternoon in October. I was trying to reach a logical stopping place on a client's project and thinking of getting a shower. I planned on calling one of my friends and/or fuck buddies and getting out of the house for the evening. Being single and running my own one-man web design operation from home like I do makes it important to maintain some social contact. Even in high school and college, I worked to keep that balance between my studies and my social life, managing to be both a serious student and a popular guy on campus. Now, almost 25 years after my school days ended, it's more important than ever. Yes, I'm 47, never been married. My name is Albert. Call me Al.

I had just decided to call my newest friend-with-benefits, a curvy 34-year-old brunette named Delores, when my cell phone dinged with a text message from my niece, Carrie Jean. CJ, as I call her, is my brother's only daughter, the only grandchild in our small family, and is a freshman at the local University. We have often shared Sunday night dinners together because the dining hall isn't open then, so I assumed she was checking to see if the plans were still on. Wrong.

"Got plans tonight?" was all it said.

I shot back a text. "I guess I do now. Call me"

Within 30 seconds, the phone was ringing. The caller ID showed that it was Carrie. "What's up, CJ?" I chuckled into the phone. "Get stood up for a date tonight?"

"I wish," she grumbled. My fuckin' roomy decided like five minutes ago that she's going to let her boyfriend into her panties tonight and she wants me out of the room."

A momentary vision of CJ's roommate, Lisa -- a tall, slender redhead with an attention-getting chest -- naked and fucking crossed my mind and my cock gave a twitch. "Ah, the college life. My roommate and I took turns with that routine a lot," I chuckled. "Sure, come on into town. I'd love to see you."

"Thanks, Uncle Al," my niece said. I could hear the tension easing from her voice already. "What's for supper?"

"Well," I muttered, "I have some chicken and stuff on hand. I suppose I could invent something delicious for my favorite niece."

"I'm your only niece, doofus," she laughed.

"Hey. You're right! Dinner's settled then," I said. "Should I make up the guest room so you don't have to go back to the room and disturb the lovebirds?"

"Yeah. Probably a good idea to give Lisa time to wash her sheets and air out the room," Carrie giggled. "Think they'll be done by Sunday night?"

"Looks like I'm making up the guest room," I said, certain now that my weekend was spoken for. "Pull into the parking garage. I'll let them know you're coming. I'll ring you in when you buzz."

"You're the best, unkie!" my niece almost cheered. "See you in about an hour! OK! Love you! Buh-bye!" (She always ended her phone calls to me with that bit from the Animaniacs "Buttons and Mindy" cartoons.)

I called George, the security guard, gave him CJ's license plate number and told him to let my niece in and point her to my guest parking spot in the garage. Then I set about getting clean sheets on the guest room bed, fresh towels in the guest room and straightening up around my moderate-size top floor loft. I was awfully glad the maid service had been here on Wednesday. Still there was a fair amount of clutter.

You'd be wrong if you thought I was feeling that my weekend had just been ruined. While it was certain that my time wouldn't be spent rolling around in bed with Delores or another of my favorite lovers, I actually was looking forward to hanging out with Carrie. Her father is my only sibling, and our parents are my only other living relatives besides CJ. They all live a thousand miles away, so these chances to be around family have been pretty rare since I left the farm and moved to the big city. That was my choice and, looking back, I guess I made it sometime in Junior High when I decided that computers were what interested me. At that point I became the math-and-sciences whiz in the whole school. By my sophomore year in high school, the seniors were asking me to help them with homework problems. I parlayed that into my own brand of high school popularity, regularly getting dates with some of the hottest girls in school, despite the fact that I didn't play sports and that many of these young ladies were older than I. Let's just say I had sex with loads of girls -- and even a few guys. (Yes, I've been bisexual since I can remember, but that's another story.)

It was pretty obvious to my family that I was going to college and that I wouldn't be coming back to the farm so, when grandpa died, they sold off what would've been my share of his land and put the money in a trust fund for college and whatever else my life might lead me to. It's grown, both from interest and the fact that I've added to it from my earnings over the years.

Next I went to the kitchen and frantically started pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator and pantry and coming up with a plan for dinner. There wasn't much, but it appeared I had enough on hand to come up with a respectable Chicken Fricassee. I had just started cutting up an onion when Carrie buzzed from the parking garage. I rang her in and went back to the kitchen. Before long I heard CJ knock on the door. When I opened it, there was my beautiful niece, all 5 foot 4 of her, standing there with an overnight bag in her hand. She was dressed in a denim mini-skirt with black tights underneath, high-topped black high-heeled boots, and an oversized fuzzy blue cardigan wrapped around her upper half and tied at the waist. She was smiling from ear to ear and practically pounced on me with a hug and a kiss to my cheek.

I took her overnight bag back to the guest room. She followed, thanking me almost constantly for 'saving her from sleeping in the Student Union' or some other fate worse than death, and then we went on into the kitchen. She parked herself on one of the high stools at the breakfast bar, I poured us both some chilled white wine, and we chatted about her school, my work and news from family back home while I cut up the chicken, chopped more vegetables and started working everything into the pot. At some point in our chatting, Carrie shucked off her sweater, revealing a pink scoop-neck tee that was so tight on her that it clung very closely to her small boobs.

The non-uncle part of me immediately registered that this cute little blond with the shoulder-length hair and big blue eyes was clearly not wearing a bra, and guessed that said bra would probably be an A cup. The uncle part of me went back to work. I started some rice to go alongside the fricassee, and about the time the lids went on both pots, I told Carrie that dinner would be ready in about a half hour and that I was going to freshen up and go shut down my computer so I wouldn't be distracted by work while "I entertained such a lovely young beauty." She giggled and even blushed a little.

Working from home means that I usually dress pretty casual and today's worn-out jeans and rumpled shirt were no different, so I changed into some Dockers and a nicer shirt. "At least I shaved this morning," I thought to myself. I went back to my office to shut down my computer and retrieve my phone. There was one last client email I had to deal with. It didn't take long, so I went on my Twitter account to get caught up with the few people I follow.

The latest tweet in my feed was from CJ. "RT this if you give great head." Obviously she was tweeting from her phone while she waited for me in the kitchen. I really tried not to think of my young blonde niece down on her knees with a cock in her mouth but a mental movie of Carrie's blonde head bobbing on my rod ran for a few seconds before I could change the channel back to 'uncle mode' and deflate my erection.

I sent her a Direct Message. "Bragging about giving good head might make some old pervert ask for a demonstration of your skills."

Within seconds she replied to my DM "LOL! Know any old perverts?"

I sent this DM back to her: "You never know. I may be the biggest old pervert you know."

I closed my phone and walked back to the kitchen. When I turned to look at her, she was blushing bright red all the way from the roots of her hair down to her chest and her nipples were so hard that they looked ready to cut holes in her shirt.

I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, CJ," I told her. "I just wanted to warn you that you should be careful what you say on social media. That stuff is up there forever, and you never know who's going to read it -- teachers, employers, family..."

"Oops, I hadn't thought of that," she mumbled as she reached for her phone. "Maybe I should delete that tweet?"

"Good idea." I said. "Then pour us some more wine while I nuke some green beans and get this dinner on plates for us."

We settled back into our earlier conversation over dinner, then I made coffee and scooped some ice cream for us to enjoy in the living room. I have two overstuffed chairs in front of a gas fireplace, and CJ settled into one and asked me to light us a fire. The coffee and ice cream out of the way, I poured myself a brandy -- Carrie said she didn't want any.

I was enjoying sitting there in front of the fire, occasionally sipping my brandy while Carrie rattled on about classes, boys, other students and whatever else and then she punched my arm.

"I asked you a question, unk," she said.

"Sorry. I was enjoying the music of your voice so much that I forgot to listen to the lyrics."

"God, you are so smooth. It's a wonder I don't have ten cousins by six different aunts."

"Be glad you don't," I quipped. "That would totally ruin Thanksgiving at the farm"

Carrie took a minute to stop giggling, and then I asked her to repeat her question.

"So what about you?"

"What do you mean, 'what about me?'" I asked. Apparently I'd completely lost the thread of our conversation.

"I was honest when I re-tweeted that thing," she said. "I was just wondering, Uncle Al. Do you give good head?"

I gulped. Surely my eighteen-year old niece didn't just ask me if I was good at oral sex, did she? I looked at her. She raised one eyebrow as if to say, "Well???"

"OK," I stammered. "I may as well be honest. Yes, I think I do. At least nobody's ever complained, and they've all come back for more. In fact, one woman that I still occasionally get together with was one of my high school 'conquests' that keeps showing up just for my tongue. She tells me her husband still hasn't learned how to eat pussy, even though he tries. I won't tell you who she is because I'm sure you know her." Of course Carrie knew her. This woman was Carrie's high school Algebra teacher!

"Uhm... well, wow," Carrie murmured. Her blush was returning, as were the hard points under her t-shirt. She was silent for quite a while.

"Too much information?" I asked.

"No," Carrie told me, "I'm just trying to figure out what married lady I know back in Emetsville who'd travel a thousand miles just to have you, um, eat her pussy."

"Let's just say you'd be shocked and leave it at that." I reassured her. "Any more uncomfortable questions you want to pose to your old uncle?" I asked.

"Let's see," she said before chewing on her lower lip for a moment. "When was the first time you went down on a girl?"

I thought for a moment, trying to plumb the rusty depths of my memory, but before I could frame my answer, Carrie interrupted me.

"Forget it. I really shouldn't be asking anyway."

"I was only trying to remember exactly when it was," I told her. "It's been a long time. We can certainly change topics if you want," I added. I waited for my niece to decide.

"No, I really think I'd like to learn more about my favorite uncle," Carried giggled.

"OK. Well, it was back in high school," I said. "So it was probably around 1980 or so. This girl and I -- and forgive me for not naming names because she still lives in town -- well, we were making out hot and heavy in the back of my old Camaro. Like any red-blooded male I was trying to get into her pants, but she was resisting, saying she wanted to stay a virgin, but she was still pretty heated up, you know?"

"So here I was, with a raging hard-on and no place to put it, when she offered up the solution. She said, 'One of my girlfriends told me about pussy eating -- you know, where a guy licks a girl, uh, down there? Her boyfriend does it to her and she just loves the way he makes her cum.'"

"I really wasn't sure about that, I mean, I'd never heard of cunnilingus at that point, even though I wasn't a virgin by any stretch of the imagination, but I really wanted to do something with this girl. She really was sexy and, like I said, I was pretty horny by that point. Then she offered the clincher. She offered to suck me off if I'd eat her out, but I had to do her first."

"I'd had a grand total of one blowjob at that point in my life, given to me by a girl who wanted to thank me for helping her with her Trigonometry -- she'd gotten an 'A' on the mid-term."

"Let me guess, CJ chimed in. "I probably know her, too?"

"Emetsville is a small town," I reminded her.

"Anyway," I continued, "she scooted over into the corner of the back seat, pulled her skirt up around her waist and shimmied out of her panties. This was back in the days when girls didn't shave their pussies, so all I really saw in the moonlight was a big tangle of curly black hair."

"Oh, so she was a brunette," my niece chuckled. "That narrows it down some."

"Or it would if she didn't dye her hair these days," I told her. "And no, I'm not telling you what color."

"Alright. I surrender. Go on with the story."

"So I got down on the floorboards there in the back seat and pushed my face up into her crotch. The first thing that hit me was the smell of sweat and pee - it had been a hot day -- I almost gagged, but I wanted to keep my word, so I continued on and stuck my tongue out to take my first taste. It took me about two seconds to realize I was hooked. Her juices were delicious! After that, I've never hesitated about going down on a girl."

"I'd fingered a few girls, so I sort of knew where my tongue should go, so I licked up her slit and licked around at the top until I found the spot that I later learned was called her clitoris. Well, she practically climbed out of the car when I hit that spot; let me tell you, except she wasn't trying to get away because she was cumming. I was enjoying the taste of her juices and the sound of her moans, so I just kept on sucking and licking until she grabbed me by the ears and pulled my head away from her crotch. I didn't know much about female orgasms at that point in my life, but she told me she'd had four of them before it got to be too much for her."

"Damn..." Carrie whispered. I looked over at her and noticed she was squirming in her chair, rubbing her thighs against each other. I also noticed that her nipples had gotten impossibly hard despite the warmth from the fireplace.

"After that, well, word got around, so I got lots of practice in during high school."

"And she kept coming back for more?" Carrie teased.

"At least until she fell in love with the guy she married," I said with a wink. "And no, we never did anything else. I'd eat her out and she'd suck me off. It went on for a couple of years."

My beautiful niece quietly watched the fire for a moment before she said, "Do you want to hear about my first, er, experience, Uncle Al?"

"Only if you want to tell me." I reassured her. "This has got to be at the top of my list of strange conversations already."

"I bet," Carrie nodded. "When I called this afternoon, I never thought I'd be sitting by the fire with my uncle discussing blowjobs and pussy-eating."

"Blame the wine, sweetie," I told her. "And besides, it's not like there's anyone would we tell about this, right?"

"Certainly not my daddy," Carrie shuddered. "I feel like he still sees me as a ten-year-old sometimes. I know I'll always be daddy's little girl, but I'm turning into a grown woman and he just can't see that."

"I'm having a little trouble with the concept myself," I admitted, "since it wasn't really that many years ago that you really were just a little girl, but I'm trying to let you be an adult and treat you accordingly."

"I know, unkie," she said as she reached out to pat my hand. "I love you."

"And I love you too, CJ."

"Do you know you're the only one who ever calls me CJ?" Carrie giggled. "Everyone in Emetsville calls me Carrie Jean like it's one name. At least here at college people just call me Carrie, but I like your pet name for me. It makes me feel special."

"Good."

We both sat and stared at the fire for a few minutes before my niece broke the silence.

"It was last year, just after my 18th birthday," she said. I didn't answer. I just looked at her and nodded.

"I was out with... not important. I was out with this boy that I liked at the time and we were making out in the rec room at his parents' house since they were out for the evening and he was trying real hard to get into my pants. Honestly, unkie, are boys always like that?"

"Since Adam was a boy," I chuckled.

"I believe you, since you probably knew him, old man," Carrie said, then stuck her tongue out at me.

"Ahem."

"Anyway, unkie, I really liked him, but I wasn't ready to give him my virginity and I wasn't on the Pill like I am now, but I didn't want to lose him, so I had to do something. Anyway, one of my friends told me that if she didn't want to go all the way with a guy -- like if she just wasn't that into him or she was on her period -- she'd suck him off and then he'd be worn out and he'd take her home."

"They'd do that back in my day, too." I added.

"I'm sensing a pattern to human existence," Carrie laughed. "Well, anyway, I scooted down off the couch and got between his knees and started unbuckling his belt and unsnapping his jeans and I looked up at him and said, 'I don't want to go all the way but I'll suck you off if you'll get rid of these jeans.' He stood up and stripped out of his jeans and underwear so fast!"

"You said the magic words, CJ." I said. "You said 'I'll suck you off' to a teenage boy."

"I guess! So there I was, down on my knees in front of my first naked guy -- well, he had his shirt on, but close enough -- and I really didn't know what to do. At first, I just played with him, you know, I was really fascinated by his, er, penis and his, uh, nuts, the way his hard thing would jerk whenever I touched it, or the way his balls rolled around in their sack, and how warm everything was to the touch."

"I think he was starting to get impatient, and he pulls me by my shoulders to get my face closer to his thing, and I look up and tell him it's my first time at this and it may not be any good. He said he'd never gotten a blowjob, so he wouldn't know good from bad. I took his cock in my hand and just held it for a minute. It was so hot, and I could feel his heartbeat. I thought it was totally amazing! There was a bunch of clear stuff oozing out of it ..."

"Pre-cum," I told her. By this point I probably was oozing a bit of it myself as I listened to my young niece tell about the first blowjob she ever gave.

"I learned that later," she answered. "I stuck my tongue out and licked at it. It was a little salty, but it felt so sexy to taste his sex juices like that, so I kind of kissed the head of his cock and sucked to get more of that tasty stuff. I pulled up and looked at him. His eyes were closed and he looked like he was straining to lift something really heavy -- the veins were all popping out in his neck and his face was red. I was a little scared that he was going to die on me and I'd have to explain to his parents why he was both naked and dead, so I just held his cock at the base and watched him for a little to be sure he was OK. He calmed down some, so I ran my tongue up his shaft. He twitched in my hand and then there was more of that tasty stuff and I sucked it off the head and he went all stiff on me again. I sat back and watched him again."