Agreement

"I'm scared about how this is going to turn out."

Julia Steed braced in her chair, and searched for reassurance in her therapist's eyes.

"Well listen, we take it a step at a time. This is so very involved. Bill's in therapy, you're in therapy. Trevor probably

should

be in therapy. You're in an emotional mess, you know?"

"

I

know. But Bill still believes this can all be managed. That it doesn't have to be 'serious.' I don't think he gets it."

Dr. Morales jotted notes. "Here's the thing. You've got a layer of very important relationships. Mother-son. Father-son. Husband-wife. And you're taking those relationships, and you're mixing in much different, and much more hazardous, circumstances. Physical love and emotional love. Roles. Expectations. These are all things difficult to manage on their own. Put them with your family dynamics, and there's a recipe for chaos."

"I know." Julia rubbed her eyes. "I sense that. I get that. I mean, Bill's right in a way, I guess. We're not at that point now. But... ."

"You're not at that point now? You told me when you first got here that you didn't feel comfortable with how things are right now."

"Me, myself, no. I mean, it's not like anyone is angry or upset with anyone else."

"But?"

"But, I can't just have sex like this... with... my son. And not feel something from it."

"And, what do you feel?"

"Several things."

"Several? Interesting."

"I know what you're thinking." Julia stared a long moment. "How can she even do this? I get that. I still get that. And there's no easy answer."

Her attention went off to the side, as she chose her words before continuing.

"I'll say this though. Couple of weeks ago, it hit me that he's a man now. A grown, mature man... not like before. Absolutely nothing like before. But a big part of this is from Trevor himself."

"How so?"

"When this first came up, and I was shocked, inside I decided to let him follow-through. Surely,

surely

, I told myself, he'll see this as ridiculous at a certain point. He'll get to a point where he'll not want to go forward. I fully expected that."

Dr. Morales wrote on her pad more.

Julia continued. "And then... he didn't stop. He didn't let up. He didn't get turned off." Julia's eyes narrowed and wandered, as she appeared to contemplate yet again what she was about to say.

Then, her eyes returned to the doctor's eyes. "He didn't lose interest at all. He actually pushed harder for it to happen"

"And," the doctor's tone dipped, "your interest did change."

Julia gulped. Pressed forward. "When Bill didn't object... ." She sarcastically chuckled. "When Bill

agreed

... I stopped talking to myself about it in a way. I decided to react."

The doctor didn't try to interject.

"I've sure reacted---that much is certain---but let me tell you something else. I learned something I never, never expected."

The therapist arched her eyes.

"Over time, I've had some pretty intense experiences in my life. But there is nothing---

nothing

---that compares to the times I have been with Trevor." Julia leaned forward. "When you take the male-female aspect of it, and you add-in how much I already love him... . It becomes absolutely overwhelming."

The doctor shifted in her chair.

Julia slowly shook her head. "Each time... I felt like I might pass out at the end.

Each. Time.

I'm not exaggerating."

More notes from the doctor.

Julia straightened back up. "But for me, as a woman, I've developed these other feelings. And this scares me. I think about him all the time. I want to be with him all the time. I care very much what he thinks of me. What he thinks of us. It's silly. Actually, it's stupid. But... I can't help it."

"And you've told Bill about it?"

"I did. I told Bill. I actually said, 'I'm in love with him.' I told him that this week when the car thing' happened."

The doctor struck a firm tone. "I want you to understand. There's not a lot of literature on exactly your kind of circumstances, but the case studies overall are strong about usual outcomes. These things seldom end well. They just don't."

"Why?"

"Different reasons, but think about this. You're changing from a nurturing and non-physical role over to a romantic and physical one. You're in your forties and he's in his twenties. What happens when the affair part of it ends? How will everyone feel?"

Julia's head slightly nodded, and she peered down a second. When her face lifted again, she dabbed at her eyes.

"I understand. I get it."

"We're about out of time today. You mentioned you also told Bill you didn't want, um,

things

happening in front of him?"

"Yeah. But, I know he's not going to let that go. And there's this ridiculous side of it that makes me think about him going along with all this happening. That somehow this justifies him getting to... ."

The doctor pursed her lips.

"But there's one other thing, too."

The doctor returned to her pad.

"I did some reading once this all started. Trying to learn about taboos and all. Well, I also wound-up reading about different kinds of sex. Different 'kinks.' Haven't ever really explored that."

The doctor jotted again.

"It's hard for me to talk about this, but it's something I have to deal with."

"What did you learn?"

"I found a very strong appeal with some of what was being called... power exchange."

"Power exchange?"

"I know, I know. With what I have going on, the last thing I need is to go there, I guess."

The doctor again arched her brow, but before she could respond, Julia added more.

"It's just that, of all times, I'm feeling the one time and the one person I can most trust to explore anything like that would be him."

" 'Him?' Trevor?"

Julia nodded. "Trevor."

"I don't know. That would---"

"That's part of what I'm scared of. Not only do I have this huge emotional thing now. It's also, um, that I want," she closed her eyes and reopened them, "that I

have to have

this experience with him."

"This experience?"

Julia looked down for a long moment. When she looked back up, she bit at her lower lip before answering.

"I want to surrender to him. Completely. Have him take me."

The doctor's mouth opened, but no words came yet.

Julia made it clear on her own.

"Have never felt this before. Never felt something so strongly."

Her hand nervously played at the pendant at her chest.

"It scares the hell out of me. But I'm certain of it."

The doctor tried to strike a reassuring tone.

"Listen, think about all this. Take your time. And whatever you do, you must---have to---talk through this. Talk to Bill. Talk to Trevor. Your family, the future of your family, is on the line. Don't throw that away."

Julia drew a deep breath and nodded. She gave the doctor a polite smile. "I understand."

...

2.

Driving from the doctor's office, Julia wasted no time, and she immediately dialed up Bill. The talk with the therapist buoyed her.

He picked right up. He sounded cheerful, of all things.

"Hey! How did it go?"

She remained calm even though her instinct was to snap at him. "Went well, thanks. I mean, you know how it goes. They want to talk. They want you to talk. They want us to talk. And meanwhile, they keep getting paid."

"Yep, exactly. But Julia, it really goes back to what I said before. This is all up to you, me, and Trevor. We're all mature about this. Secure. It doesn't have to be some crazy thing."

She weaved her way through traffic, and glanced the clock. Just past six on a Friday. At least it was the weekend.

"Bill, I really feel weird about the three of us ever being around when... . That just is a problem."

Bill sighed. "Let's not try to sort all that out now. Instead, I did hear from Trevor."

Julia braced. "Yeah?"

"He couldn't reach you. He wondered what we were up to tonight."

He did? Right. Bill, that's a stretch.

"I told him you were in an appointment. And, I hope you don't mind," he sounded like he was likely smiling, "I told him you guys should go hang out tonight."

Julia shook her head hard, fighting to pay attention to driving while also trying to sort through Bill's tactics.

"Bill, you did what? You should let me handle that sort of thing."

"Well, I can call him and tell him it's off. I was just trying to---"

"No, no. That's alright." She shook her head, hating that she felt she was giving in in a way to Bill's plans to try to control the situation. "What did he say?"

"He wanted to catch a movie."

"He did?"

"Yep."

"Where am I supposed to meet him? It's already six-twenty. What time?" She hated how she probably sounded all eager now.

Bill didn't hesitate. "Oh, he's coming here. Will be here at seven-thirty."

Julia froze. "There? He's meeting me at home?"

"Picking you up."

She blinked a few times and struggled to figure out right away why she felt perturbed with this.

Bill was starting to hang up. "See you soon?"

"Yeah. Almost home."

She clicked off the phone and slung it into the seat beside her.

...

3.

Julia rushed around the bedroom, changing from her office clothes to her jeans and white blouse. A strong mix of thoughts whirled inside, and she kept reminding herself just to get ready. It'd be easy to snipe at Bill, but she needed to focus. The last thing she wanted was not to be ready when Trevor got there. This was weird enough already.

It damn sure didn't help that Bill was busying himself right there in the bedroom with her. He fussed with some dry-cleaned shirts to hang back up, some laundered clothes he could put away, and some changing himself, but she knew better. He was watching her get ready.

She'd scold him later, she figured. In the meanwhile, she got some mischievous delight out of it. She changed into a pair of black panties first, and then paused, before changing instead to a pink, satiny set. Her favorite designer jeans slipped on easily, and then she made it a point to toy with her blouse.

Standing in front of the mirror at their dresser, she buttoned the blouse all the way up first, and then immediately her fingers went back to the top of the blouse. The top button easily slipped apart and she glanced at it. Without looking over to Bill, she could still tell he wasn't moving about any more; he was watching her.

She reached inside her blouse and had to pull out her diamond pendant so that it was visible where the one button was undone. For a quick second, it rested on the blouse, but her hand shot right back to the blouse. Her fingers undid the second button. There was no movement still from Bill, but the sight of more skin and the pendant sitting at the hint of cleavage made her shift from one foot to the other.

What will Trevor think?

With a small inhale, her hand returned to the blouse. Her fingers undid the third button. Much more cleavage came into view, and the divide of her pale breasts continued on down to where her thin, white bra cupped her. There wasn't much separation of her breasts, but there was a deep enough gap there that shadowed her skin and prevented seeing her flesh all the way.

She glimpsed the reflection in the mirror, and in the background, Bill gawked.

Her hand reached to the dresser, lifted her most expensive perfume, and she moistened her cleavage. The pendant fell higher than where the bra started. She re-did the third button, the pendant was still fully visible, and she thought she could hear Bill exhale.

He tried to return to his pretext of clothes, but she knew he still paid attention as she touched-up her makeup, glossed her lips, and patted at her hair, pinned nicely up.

The doorbell rang.

They shot looks straight at each other.

Neither said a word, as she snatched up her purse and left.

Her stomach did little flips as she hurried down the stairs to go out.

I cannot believe I'm doing this. This is a date.

She could barely breathe.

...

4.

The drive from her house to the theatre was difficult. Over and over, she tried to calm down. It seemed impossible.

Trevor wore jeans and a polo shirt, and he could not have looked any more ruggedly handsome. He looked casual but also perfectly groomed, so she sensed he had tried, too. His eyes flickered when he looked to her, and she deliberately avoided hers staying on his. She barely spoke the whole way over. He tried making small talk, but she just couldn't seem to engage.

She swung wildly, from one point to another. Her mind screamed that this was Trevor and this was all crazy, but then her heart purred with the realization that he had wanted this---wanted to see her tonight. This fact alone created butterflies for her.

Get hold of yourself.

They walked from the SUV to the theatre, and then on inside, with her keeping up her quietness. He bought the tickets, offered to get them something to drink, and she warily looked around to see if there was anyone they knew. She thanked him but said no, and they went on to the particular showing.

Going from the bright hallway into the darkened screening immediately soothed her. The previews were already starting, and for the first time, she finally felt she could breathe fully. They didn't go very far down the aisle and his hand came to her mid-back. He guided her to a row, only three or four rows from the back.

She walked down the row, glad there was no one to have to step around, but also noticed there was no one sitting in the rows behind them either. They had the row they were on to themselves, no one behind them, and the nearest people were a couple of rows ahead.

At least I can relax that we're not going to be noticed.

They were settling in about halfway down the row, when he brought his mouth to her ear. The closeness conjured his rich vanilla musk scent for her and she found herself grinning.

He whispered. "Everything alright?"

She turned her face to him and it hit her how very close they were. She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. It is."

He kept looking into her eyes, but she turned towards the screen. Their feature was starting. She relaxed further into the chair. Sitting to his right, she let her left leg cross over her right to give him more room. Her body naturally drifted to her left, and the leaning of her side against his was distinct. She didn't shy from it.

Action in the movie unfurled up on the screen, but her mind fixed on Trevor. His arm lifted, went around her, and then came to rest on her chair back. Then, it pulled just towards him to bring her nearer.

She didn't want to, but she grinned.

Is he really doing this?

She didn't dare look over to see if he'd caught her grinning. Who knew what would happen? Better to keep her eyes forward.

Several moments of the film went by, and she hated herself for being unable to even follow it.

I am a damn school girl with him.

They were sitting in a dark, quiet movie, and she was keying on everything with them.

Her attention was finally about to focus on the plot when his hand moved. His right hand dangling over her shoulder off to the side had eased over her shoulder and onto her blouse. His arm must have angled back some, because his palm was able to rest against the fabric of her blouse.

No. He is not doing what I think he is doing, is he?

Maybe she was being too sensitive. His hand only sat right at the front of her shoulder. Perfectly innocent. Relaxed.

A sharp noise from the movie, the characters on the screen darted, and the crowd all recoiled. When she recovered in her chair, his hand was unmistakably moved. Her stomach churned and her eyes blinked.

His hand now draped her upper chest, and his thumb spread over to where it connected to her skin. The pendant resting at the start of her cleavage wasn't far from his thumb.

His hand brushed from side to side lightly. His fingertips traced over the blouse, but when his thumb worked back away, it took with it the side of the blouse where the second button wasn't done. Her blouse was more opened.

It's possible he didn't intend it. But... .

She kept her eyes on the screen, but her middle was starting to react decisively now. Her stomach stirred. It wasn't just her stomach. She willed herself not to move.

Seconds more passed, and he moved again. His hand brushed more, but things had changed. His thumb pressed slightly for traction and so did a finger at her bare skin. The tracing was against open skin on her chest, and the effects were instant. She was sure her nipples protruded against her blouse.

Her eyes swept around to double-check their surroundings, and she immediately realized he could detect she was being sure. She felt herself blush.

I have to stop this.

His thumb and finger kept rubbing the exposed skin where her blouse sat open. The movie continued and no one was around.

Her skin tingled at his touch, and her crotch definitely had dampened. Her nipples ached in her bra.

As long as it stays only this... .

His hand went from drawing swipes back in forth to circling at her upper chest. One circle and then two were modest, and the lightness felt nice. Reflexively, she leaned just back, and the effect was to prop closer to him. She didn't try to straighten.

With her nestled closer against him, his arm lowered over her shoulder. His arm dropping made his hand drift, and in one swift moment, his palm was on her breast. Her breath caught and her pussy drenched. His thumb and his finger now indented barely the cleavage where the blouse met.

Her right hand jumped directly to his hand on her breast, and clasped it. Their hands didn't move, but she didn't try to move it either. Her mind raced and her chest heaved with her deep breath. The feel of his thumb and finger grew distinct.

The movie continued up on the screen, but her entire body wired through his contact with her chest, and electric currents shot about inside her. Her thighs clenched and relaxed. The brief closeness between her legs felt good.

They stayed poised a couple of moments, and she considered bringing his hand away. It would be easy even to divert it only up a bit. She didn't move it at all.

His hand started again and she flinched. Before she could clasp tighter, his hand drew over her cleavage, managing his other fingers onto bare skin, and then back out away, staying on her skin, and slipping inside her blouse. His fingers didn't stop until two had found her areola. They rested there.

Her hand clamped down, and while her hand stopped his movement, his hand was probably where he wanted it. The only thing she accomplished was pressing his fingers flatter against her skin and areola. They touched there and then gently squeezed. Sparks fired about in her.

She couldn't help a very low moan, and she pulled his hand from inside her blouse. She held onto it, and she kept it on her shoulder. He didn't react and she didn't look at him. While she considered easing away from where she leaned into his side, she didn't.

She absolutely could not believe how hot she felt inside. A brief thought of going straight to the bathroom hit her. She could go inside a stall and do the only thing that would give her relief right now. She had never been wetter than she was right then in that dark theatre.

But at the same time, she didn't want to leave his side.

How is he doing?

Suddenly, different ideas swarmed her mind. Ideas that weren't at all like her.

He's put me in this condition. I should do the same to him.

She let herself curl even more into him, and he instantly pulled her tighter. His hand tried to descend again, but she kept it at her shoulder. Her right hand kept his hand on her shoulder, but her left hand angled off the armrest between them. Slowly, it moved onto his side of the seating.