1.
Julia Steed shook her head and wondered how her life had turned into this. She and her husband had started with just love and passion, wanting to conquer goals and build a life. Now, at forty, they had conquered goals and built a beautiful outer life, but there was no passion at all between them.
Why? Why?
She pushed her seven-series BMW harder through traffic, worried she was running late to meet her son for lunch. For a second, she thought about running this by her son, but that thought quickly passed. How would Trevor ever understand? Everyone thought she had things just as she wanted. After all, she had worked so hard.
The daily working-out and eating right served her well. The hours of diligence she gave to her interior design business had paid off well. Her charity work with the City Women's League gave her satisfaction and got her outside herself. Why then couldn't she just accept things as they were?
She checked her lightly touched make-up in the rear view mirror, and she liked how her blonde hair gathered up neatly as she had hoped. She didn't really worry about forty. The hint of lines showed beside her eyes, but her feminine appearance remained distinct. But she did worry about the fact she had to please her own ever increasing needs, when her husband couldn't be bothered to even touch her. Focusing on her clear blue eyes one more time, she asked herself what more she could do about this on her own.
The gentle questions put to her Bill hadn't worked. Suggestions about couples counseling were rebuffed. She had even brought up exotic vacations they could take. Nothing registered.
She was glad she was having lunch with her son. He was a younger, more aggressive version of Bill, and it would be a nice break for her. Wasn't sure why, but getting together with him always seemed to lift her spirits. She could at least divert herself onto his life. She admired him and they were close.
At least she had that.
...
2.
Trevor Steed saw her across the crowded restaurant, and at once, his heart raced.
Damn, how does she do it? Always looks fantastic.
His eyes stayed glued to her as she glided towards the table. Her chin up and her eyes level, an even poise always impressed.
When she got to the table, he stood and embraced her. "Hey, how are you doing?"
"Doing well, thanks." Her easy smile flashed to him.
Moving around behind her, he helped with her chair. As he came back to his seat, her eye brows were raised.
Her voice lightly cooed. "Well, haven't seen that from you before. Impressive."
He grinned back at her. There was a lot she hadn't seen. Just as he had thrown himself into his new start-up business with his buddy, Julio, he had likewise decided to work on improving his ways and manners. If he could get serious about business, he'd also get serious about how he acted socially and with women. May as well try his new ideas with her.
He liked how he felt very aware of his six-one, 195 pound frame as he sat in the cozy restaurant. His workout had been a great one earlier, and now he had a certain calmness that resulted. It made everything easier for him.
They talked easily, catching up. She seemed to want to ask him about his social life right away, and it was hard to deflect her with his usual vagaries. He went ahead and leveled with her that he was in no hurry to get a new girlfriend right now. He expected she wouldn't like it, as she usually pressed him to 'find a good girl.' Today, there was none of that.
"Good for you. Have some fun." She only shrugged.
He relaxed back into his chair. "Huh? Wait," he kidded, "where is my mom, and what have you done with her?"
They both chuckled.
Carefully, he placed the focus back onto her and how she was doing with a couple of questions, and he noticed something. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but she seemed a little less upbeat than her normal self. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes didn't quite gleam like usual.
"Hey, is everything alright?"
She batted her eyes a couple of times. "Yes, of course."
Reaching across the table, he put his hand on hers. "You're not telling me something. I'm worried about you."
Her eyes studied his a moment, glanced at his hand atop hers, and then peered back up. "Guess I've been feeling a little flat lately," she forced a smile, "But I'm fine."
She looked back to their hands and turned her hand so that the palm was up. She gave a quick squeeze and then started withdrawing it.
Sitting this close, it struck him just how attractive a woman she looked, right there across from him. Instinctively, he leaned in and put his hand back on hers, stopping it. He drew a couple of fingers over her palm and then lightly circled about it.
"It's weird, but," he worried how this would come out, "I feel so strongly... care so much about you. I... it's... I just want you to know that."
She blinked a couple of times. Then, to his surprise, she leaned forward, too. "Trevor, that is so sweet. Thank you."
Their eyes held a moment. Suddenly there was a lightness about him he had never known. He couldn't help but start to grin.
"Well," she pulled back and sat up straight, "lunch was great."
He took care of the check and walked her out. Staying close by her side, he told her how he wanted to see her again later in the week.
She nodded. "Okay."
When they reached her car, they hugged goodbye. As they parted from the embrace, he pecked her cheek. He didn't think he had ever done that before.
She stared at him a couple of moments before finally driving away.
Part of him thought he may have pushed his luck. Another part of him didn't care. The adrenaline rush of having pushed and gotten to her was everything.
...
3.
Julia couldn't help but be aggravated by everything Bill said or did that night. She tried talking with him and engaging, but he showed no interest. It wasn't that he was mean or rude. It was worse. He couldn't care less.
He read and surfed online. Asked her nothing really. Didn't really even react to anything he read either.
What's wrong?
She wished he still went to the gym and took better care of himself.
At dinner, she brought up her lunch with Trevor. Yes, she told Bill, Trevor seemed to be doing fine and was in good spirits. But, Trevor worried she wasn't.
"What did you say?" Bill asked.
"I said I was fine, of course."
Bill continued right on eating.
She shook. "Bill, are you having an affair?" Her voice came with a shrill, but she couldn't help it.
He first froze before taking a forkful of the chicken marsala, and he stared back at her. "Of course not." The forkful then continued on into his mouth.
She dropped her own fork onto her plate, letting the loud clanking resonate about.
His voice came level. "I'm going into counseling."
She sat still in her chair and tried to absorb this. "What?"
"It can't hurt. Figure I'll see what's up."
Emotion welled in her throat. Bill didn't go to doctors, or really any professionals. Except his accountant. He saw his accountant often.
She kept her tone low. "
What
is going on?"
"Nothing really. Honestly... it's just hard to give a shit about anything anymore."
"Are you depressed?"
"Julia, I'm not depressed. But, I'm not anything. Who knows? I'll see what's going. Don't worry."
"Don't worry?" She laughed just a little too loud. "I'll go with you."
"No, you won't."
She stared down at her plate, and then tried to glimpse him closer.
He wiped his mouth and stopped his meal. "I don't want you to worry. This is just something I'm going to do. I'll let you know what happens."
She searched for words, but he was up and taking his plate to the kitchen before she could react.
She sat there and tried to process why he felt he needed to go to counseling. He was right it couldn't hurt. But why couldn't he just talk to her? But if that was what he wanted... .
Later, they were in bed, both reading from their tablets. She didn't get how they had stayed quiet ever since dinner, even though he knew he had surprised her. She wanted more.
"Trevor seemed different today." Her tone sounded more concerned than she intended.
"How so?"
"Hard to say, really. Nice, of course."
Bill stayed ensconced in his book.
"There was this vibe between us. Can't put my finger on it."
"A bad thing?"
"No, not really."
"I'm sure it's fine."
And with that, he turned in.
She first started to roll over and go to sleep, too. Then, she reconsidered. "I'm going to go read some more."
She was up and out the door, almost forgetting her tablet. She was anxious to get to the couch in the den and to get comfortable. Knowing herself, she anticipated just the position she would take downstairs alone, and just what relief she would get.
...
4.
Normally, Trevor trusted his instincts completely, but this situation with Julia was nowhere near normal. Exhilarating, yes. But way, way out of the ordinary. He got that.
He picked his moment and his words carefully with Julio, because he wanted his best friend's take on this badly. But he didn't want any judgment or shame. That he could supply on his own. Or not.
During a break at the office, he caught Julio by himself. Julio loved his afternoon walk outside to clear his head, so Trevor decided to join him. Julio welcomed him along.
Thankfully, the men shared the same kind of intense interest in women as they did for business. They had so very much in common, and he was glad. Especially today.
He opened up to Julio, but couched his interest in being with an 'older woman' without daring say who. This sufficed, and he kept going with the circumstances. Julio nodded and listened patiently as he gave details.
This older woman really attracted him and was beautiful, but there was a serious hitch. Julio pointed out that there always was. Nothing was ever perfect. Trevor agreed that this was especially the case with this woman.
They walked a trail out beside a beautiful lake, but now Julio glanced towards Trevor and away from the lake. "How so?"
"Well," Trevor looked ahead and treaded carefully, "I know it's a really bad idea, but she's married."
Right away, Julio shook his head. "Bad, bad idea, man. Guys get killed for that kind of shit. You know?"
Trevor kept his steps going even though hearing this gave him pause. "Um, I don't think that's the kind of thing here. But, you're right. It's serious. And... you never know, I guess."
"No. You don't know. But a dude finds you're bedding his wife, he can lose his mind. I'm telling you."
They walked on for a moment, and suddenly the whole thing grew even more worrisome for Trevor. He wasn't changing his mind, but he got much more how bad things could get. He realized he may as well share even more. After all, maybe he should let Julio try to talk him out of this.
