Advice Column

Dr. Janice was a pseudonym used by a sexologist and couples therapist, who under her real name is still well known for her ground-breaking work in family relations and other subjects. She wrote her advice column for Maternal Instincts for the entire duration of the short-lived magazine. Please note that Dr. Janice has always strictly spoken against any underage relations of any kind.

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(This column was originally published in "Maternal Instincts" magazine, issue 3/1997)

"Dr. Janice's guide for that first time"

I often get questions from mothers wanting to help their shy sons on the road to adulthood. First I must say that this is not as uncommon as you may think. I know that because of how many of these questions I get. Many people think about it, and some do it. There is not necessarily anything wrong or to be ashamed of in it, as long as you do it right. Due to my readers' interest in the subject, I have decided to share my knowledge on this perhaps touchy subject which I also have some personal experience in.

First of all you have to understand that reality does not work the same way as what your imagination. If a mother and son are really going to do it, you cannot rush it. You cannot just take your clothes off like in fictional stories. You have to talk about it, long and seriously. Your son naturally has to be an adult, and he has to agree to it with all his heart. It generally is not a good idea to even suggest it if it is not his first time, unless he has been having significant problems with his attempts with girls. You are trying to help him gain confidence and experience, not take over his life.

Do not try to act or dress up. He wants you to be the same mom you always are, not to imitate anyone else. Stockings can be okay and draw attention to the most important thing, but do not try anything more than that. Start slowly, with just kissing and hugging. You are probably already used to being close to each other, but you have to be aware of the special moment which is coming.

The first real step is taking off your bra. Depending on your body type, you may not think your breasts will interest him, but seeing them naked will be very important for him. You can let him open your bra as well, it can be an useful skill to practice. When you are ready to reveal the place he really wants to see, you should do it together. Take his hands into yours and slowly remove your underwear together.

It is a really special moment for the boy when his own mother opens her legs, especially if this is his first time. This is where the stockings can help, they will concentrate his attention there even more. The classic black and white are good colors, depending on which suits you better. Avoid tacky colors like pink, they don't work in intimate situations like this.

Missionary position is the best choice for the first time. That way the boy can learn by being an active participant, and you can retain eye contact with him. This is more important than people realize, especially so when it is a mother and her son who are doing it. Be prepared to help him gently, but you will notice he will start thrusting instinctively once he gets accustomed to the warmth of the vagina. Just let nature carry out its course.

It may take a few tries, but eventually he will reach that wonderful moment where he'll ejaculate. He will probably ram hard into you when it happens, because that is where he feels the safest. Make sure he feels your hips move when he shoots, that is a sign of acceptance. Often it is good to be careful, but being with your own son is not one of those times, because a mother and son share a special connection. He knows that womb, you should let him in there again.

You can try a few more positions if he is willing and able. Lotus position is a good choice, since in that it is possible to cuddle and feel that you are really close. He will be gently caressing your ass after he has shot everything he has inside you.

A motherly good night blowjob is always a good way to finish. Just make sure to swallow, even if you normally do not. You have to remember it is your own son who is firing his sperm, and you are not just some girl, you are his mother. So swallow it and look him in the eyes while you do it.

Afterwards it's good to cuddle and sleep together for the rest of the night, if that is by any means possible.

It is good to remember you can always stop at the first time. That can be it, and often it probably should. It can just remain as a nice memory for you both, and that will not cause any problems. Some people may feel the willingness to continue along this route, but try to keep in mind the various difficulties which come with this in the real world, and that you should be helping your son with his problems, not causing more of them.

If you do end up carrying his child, you should suck him attentively and often. That way he will understand everything is all right, and he can watch your belly grow. Swallow him dry every day if that is possible. Gently stroke his testicles with your fingers and look him in the eyes as long as he keeps shooting. These should be your special moments together, so try to find time for them. You cannot raise your child in a traditional way, but you have to believe everything will be all right, and you have to show him that.

I'm sure the information I have given has satisfied some of your need for knowledge, but also it perhaps has aroused the need for further questions in our readers. You can, as usual, mail any questions to Dr. Janice to our offices at:

(Address has been remove since the magazine is defunct)

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(This is based on a draft which was originally written for one of Dr. Janice's books, but was removed at the request of the publisher. It was originally most likely written circa 1995, but she later posted it on her forums when they were still active. She usually avoided using her title there, just calling herself "Janice D.")

"Some tips for mothers, by Janice D."

There is a secret to close mother-son-relationships, which is not mentioned in mainstream guides about the subject. That secret is blowjobs, and that is why this guide exists, to detail some of the hints and tips the author had found useful when raising his son.

First of all, a woman and a mother should understand that blowjobs are very important to a growing young man. They are something he will quickly learn to enjoy and appreciate even if it is his own mother giving to him.

The first step is that you must get your son to understand that you are prepared to do this for him. Directly speaking about the subject is usually out of the question, and it would be quite difficult for most mothers as well.

Modern technology, however, has provided us with many useful marvels. E-mails are a very good way to get in contact discreetly and anonymously. Send him a message detailing what you could and would do to him. You do not have to immediately reveal you are his mother, but that can work too if you have the courage for it. Then give him some kind of a secret phrase he can say when he is ready. It should not be too strange, but it should be something only you two would know.

You could tell your son, as an example, to come to you and say: "That red dress you are wearing is really nice, mom," when you are not wearing a red dress and especially if he does not usually compliment your clothes. This is an innocent sentence, and the wrong color could be just a slip of the tongue. The point is that this is something he can say, instead of: "Could you blow me, mom?" He is not going to say something like that, especially because he will not be convinced that it really was you who sent the messages.

Then you can smile, look him in the eyes, and say your own answer which you have also provided in your e-mail exchange, such as: "Yes, I like the flowers on it," when there are no flowers on the dress. This would be a nonsensical answer, if you had not told him in your message it is what mom will say to prove she sent the messages and is willing to do exactly what she said in them.

This is important, because he will most likely not believe the messages were genuine. If he has a safe sounding phrase he can just slip to you when you are together, he will say it, sooner or later. Then you can respond accordingly, and he will understand that the messages were real, and you are really going to do it.

When you get to the actual blowjob situation, you have to pick a time and place where it is certain you will not be interrupted by anything. Start by asking him if he wants you to take off your clothes. Usually just showing your breasts will be enough, but take off as much or as little as he prefers. If he is shy, it may be difficult to figure out whether he feels more comfortable with you remaining fully clothed or being naked with him. You have to use your instincts in situations like these.

It is best he if he is sitting or lying down, since if he is trying to stand when all the sensations start, it may be difficult for an inexperienced young man.

Use kisses and gentle stroking until he is completely hard. Then, when you sense he is ready, start sucking, but remember to take it very slowly in the beginning. When you are sure he is comfortable with the situation you can start increasing the speed and tension, using your hands to help if necessary. Stroking the testicles gently with your fingers is usually a very good way, but try to sense the boy's emotions and act accordingly. You have to remember your maternal instincts will work in situations like these just like in any other. They can be a great help if you learn to listen to them.

You should let him ejaculate in your mouth, and swallow quickly when he does. This can sound disgusting to many women, but you have to understand how special the situation is for your son. Just using your hand will not give him the same intimacy and comfort, and spitting and gagging would ruin everything, in which case you might not as well have done the whole thing at all. Do not go too much the other way either and attempt to play with the sperm in a 'sexy' way in your mouth, or pretend that you like it. That is not something he wants to see his mother doing, and it does not excite many men in any case. Just keep sucking and swallowing as long as the ejaculations keep coming, and then give his testicles several little kisses to show your appreciation.

If you keep giving blowjobs to your son whenever he feels he needs them, you'll soon develop a closer and deeper relationship than most parents have with their children. They are a nice and motherly way to reward him or cheer him up if he is feeling blue.

- Janice D.

November 2007