Dear Reader: You are entering the final part of the longest piece of writing I have ever completed. Finish enjoying it in good health. The novel (and yes, it is an 88,000 word novel) has been split into four sections, this being the fourth section.
With that said, this book is not for everyone. It will be too long for many people (no shame in that, it's a big time investment). It is also somewhat extreme, having some of the more intense and bizarre sexual scenes I have ever written (though for some of you faithful readers, that will be the appeal!). Further I warn you that not every section has incest content, though there is a lot of that in here, as well as other kinds of taboo. The first section was a bit of a slow, but now the sections are wall to wall erotica. With that said, I think the whole is greater than the sum of its parts and, if you go back and read the whole thing, you will not be disappointed. Enjoy!
And please let me know what you think.
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Recap: In section one, our hero Ellie (or Lizzie) Abood decided to pledge the same sorority as her older sister Lily. Lily was extremely upset, but Ellie couldn't figure out why. Eventually, the hazing started at the sorority and it had a definite sexual feel. All the pledges, like Ellie, are required to be naked at all times. Further, at the end of the first section, Ellie had a mutual masturbation session with one of the juniors (which she was a bit reluctant about). In the second section, things got more intense, as Ellie had a shocking experience Lily, performed an impromptu sex show for the sorority, and heard two very sexy stories from her roommate Lori. At the end of the second section, Ellie and Lori (as well as the other freshman girls) were directed to make an erotic movie in a public place. The third section entirely covered the viewing of the movies. If you want more, read the story. Now, no more teasing, this is about to get real.
Chapter 6: Pledge Week Day 6 - Time With Lily
"So what do you think is going to happen?" Lori asked me the next morning. We were both getting dressed for Friday classes, having just gotten out of the shower together. The night before, we returned to the room just a few minutes after the meeting. Lori had been holding the two-sided dildo and, as we entered the room, she had raised her eyebrows suggestively, saying that we might as well give it a chance. After all, it wasn't like there was much to be modest about. She said something about how we were going to have fun during the rest of the year.
I don't know what it as that Lori said, but I instantly started crying. Lori looked completely confused, "Hey Ellie. I am sorry, I didn't mean to say something dumb or make you feel bad. I was just thinking that we have gotten comfortable with each other and have fun together. It's like, while we are here there are like different rules, and we can just have some fun," she said. The more she talked, the faster she spoke, like she was trying to convince me. I was shaking my head the whole time.
"No, that's not it," I managed to choke out.
"Well what is it?" Lori asked.
The only thing I could do was choke out a single word, "Lily."
All of the tension and uncertainty was too great. I'd spent the whole week pretending in public like Lily's indifference and outright hostility didn't bother me, pretending I didn't notice, and it was just too much. You can ignore something, whether it is your sexuality or your fears, for a certain period of time. But at some point, you have to face reality. That night, when Heather had said we'd have another meeting, I came face to face with my reality. I had come to the realization that my sister and I were going to have a giant fight the next day and it was probably going to end our relationship. And all I could do when faced with this inevitability was cry. I collapsed onto my bed, covering my head with my pillow.
Lori had instantly figured out what the problem was (she knew more about what was happening with my sister than anyone else) and dropped the dildo, forgotten, onto the floor. Instead, she climbed into my bed with me. Despite the fact that we were both naked, she spooned in behind me. She wrapped her arms all the way around my chest, holding me a tight hug. She made hushing noises into my ear and rocked me gently. She didn't try to talk to me then, she knew that I couldn't speak and that she couldn't make it any better anyway. She just poured out her love to me, tried to make me feel whole.
In some small way, it helped. I didn't feel better, but somehow I felt...less bad, if that makes sense. Just to feel someone's love. The love of someone I'd slept with at that. Eventually, we fell asleep together, her warm breasts against my back, her soft palms across my bare stomach. Now it was the next morning, my eyes were dry, and I was sort of in a daze. I guess Lori thought that I was finally able to talk about it.
"I don't even know," I said in response to her question, "I am just scared." Lori smiled at me, reach forward and squeezed my hand gently.
"If I learned anything about you yesterday, it's that you are brave," Lori said smiling, I smiled back.
"Thanks," I said, "But I am only brave when my body allows me to be brave. This is about my soul, and I think that I am weak in that respect." My shoulders dropped, I felt crushed. Then I felt Lori's arms wrap around me once again.
"Hey look," she said, pulling back and looking me in the eyes, "This has been a...supremely weird week. When it started, I thought we were friends, but we weren't particularly close. Now I know that I barely knew you then. This place is like...It's a...what are those things that they melt metal in?"
"A crucible," I said.
"Yeah!" she said with animation, "It's a crucible. In a week here, whatever normal barriers people have between then just don't apply. Our separate pieces melt into one. I know you better than I know most of my friends back home. Hell, we made love. And it was good!" she said and laughed.
"Thanks."
"I can't imagine how weird it must have been to do this with your sister here. And to have...well you know what happened. But you came through this. It was harder on you than on anyone else and you never let it bother you. You just kept fighting through. You are brave. You will get through this. And, if your birth sister is too stupid to want you, know that I will be...I am...your sister," Lori said. I felt tears welling in my eyes again.
"Lori..." I started.
"I am sorry if I got all speechy. I was practicing what I was going to say all night," she said, "I needed to be right."
"It was absolutely right," I said, throwing my arms around her. Tears fell now, but less from sadness. Lori held me close and cried as well. All you need to have a sister is love. Even if I lost a sister, I'd made at least one more. After a long while, we collected ourselves, collected our items, and walked to class.
It was a Friday, which meant that I had two classes. I went to them in a sort of cloud. It would be wrong to say that I was nervous about my even with Lily. It would be wrong to say I was thinking or feeling anything. It was far more complex than that. An endless barrage of emotions, thoughts, and sensations ran through my brain and body. Most of the time, these impulses were contradictory. I felt shame and fear, confusion, and anger. I felt butterflies in my stomach, a light head, and weak. My hair stood on end, my legs sweat, and my mouth felt sandy. I heard lectures without listening, talked without communicating, and thought without content.
The only actual concrete idea I was ever able to isolate, and one which I returned to several times off and on during the day, was a painful uncertainty. I had no idea what the night had in store for me. Perhaps I would be yelling at my sister, maybe we would be in a physical altercation. I thought that maybe I would say things that I didn't mean, maybe she would say things she did. All I knew was that I was afraid that, though neither of us really wanted it, I was going to lose my sister. I had joined the sorority. In the balance, I had gained friends, a place to belong, and a new understanding of my sexuality. And it would cost me my family. It would cost me my sister. The person I was supposed to be closest to in this world. We'd been birthed from the same womb, shared the same DNA, and been loved by the same parents. Was it worth it to lose that? Was gaining my adulthood worth the loss of my childhood?
I returned to the house after my classes, though it felt like I hadn't left. The instant I took my clothes off at the front door, I felt like I had just finished hugging with Lori. The outside world was an abstraction. This was the only concrete place and my heart beat faster as I moved within it. I walked up to my room and absent-mindedly surfed the internet, feeling each moment pass as the time approached for the nightly meeting. I felt fear and anxiety without content. Kardashians, Beyonces, and Paltrows skittered across my screen but did not register. Only the march of time, which I both welcomed and feared. Finally, at the normal time, Lori popped her head into my door.
"Hey, uh, it's time for the meeting," she said. I took a deep breath, looked at myself in the mirror (pretty, but haggard) and headed down the stairs.
The dining room look as it had for the last several nights. The upper class girls standing clothed in a circle, a small opening available so that we freshmen could walk through. The freshmen were more comfortable now in their nudity. They no longer tried to cover themselves, but walked easily into the midst of the circle. There was a nervous energy, but a good-natured kind, in the group as we made our way to the middle. I was the only one filled with dread. At the appointed hour, Heather moved to the front of the room. All of the normal ceremonies were complied with. Finally, the meeting started.
"Good evening ladies," she said, "I trust you all had...fun nights last night." The girls giggled. It seemed everyone had been riled up by movie night. And everyone (except for Lori and I) had figured out some way to relieve the tension.
"It seems they are getting the hang of it," Carrie said, like she was casually talking to Heather, but clearly loud enough for all of us to hear.
"Yes, I think they are figuring out the meaning of sisterhood here at the sorority. Only two days left and they will be ready as full sisters. But there is still work to be done. And the people who know the most about sisterhood still have much to teach. Lori, there is no need for you to come up tonight. It will be a short meeting. Tonight, you freshmen girls will get some time to meet your senior sisters. That means Lori, you will be coming with me. Everyone else, find your Big Sister. And remember the rules."
