"You cannot be serious!" I was flabbergasted. Just a few moments ago, my mother--a forty six year old woman!--told us that she still believed in Santa Claus. Neither Deb--my sister--or I still believed in Santa, and I could not begin to imagine how Mom still did.
Dad was the one who broke the news to me, when I was twelve. That about fifteen years ago. Of course, we still got into the holiday spirit, and always joked about Santa delivering the presents, but that's just what you do on Christmas. Or so I thought. I never would have guessed Mom still believed in him.
We--that is to say my parents, my sister, her husband, as well as my own wife--were gathered around the Thanksgiving dinner table. It was getting pretty late, and Zoe, my five year old daughter, was already sleeping on the couch in the living room.
"No, I'm telling you, he is real!" Mom protested. Her brows were furrowed, and blue eyes looked me and Deb pleadingly. "Arthur, back me up."
"If your mother says he's real, then he's real," Dad backed her up. Behind her back, he shot us a warning glare, and shook his head.
"Thank you," said Mom, and gave us a pointed I-told-you-so look, as if the matter had been settled.
"But Mom, who do you think buy--oof," Sarah--my wife--elbowed me in the side. I looked at her, confused.
"Alex, you were just saying you could make it this year?" asked Dad, trying to change the subject. He was referring to our christmas plans this year, which was how we got on the subject of Santa Claus in the first place.
"Yeah, we'll be here this year," I confirmed. We alternated where we celebrated Christmas every year, and last year it had been with Sarah's parents. Luckily Sarah was Canadian, so her parents celebrated Thanksgiving on a different date.
Conversation shifted to other subjects, and after dinner, I pulled Dad aside.
"Are you seriously telling me Mom still believes in Santa Claus?" I asked, out of earshot of everyone else.
"Yep," he answered.
"Seriously? How?"
"Her parents were very serious about it, and never told her the truth. She just kinda kept believing it."
"But all these years, I mean you told me and Deb. How did Mom not find out? Didn't she buy presents for us?"
"No, I always did all the shopping on my own, and hid all the presents in my workshop. Then I set them under the tree after Beth went to bed."
"Wow," I was amazed hearing this. I couldn't believe my own mother, a forty six year old CPA, actually, truly believed in Santa. "We've got to tell her."
"I brought it up once, when Deb had just started talking. I asked her if we should raise you guys to believe in Santa, or to tell you the truth, and she nearly cried. I just didn't have the heart to make her see different. I love her, and I don't care if she's a little quirky."
Quirky was not the way I'd have described her. Growing up, she had always been on the stricter side, part of her strongly christian upbringing. Dad had always been the one who clowned around with us, while Mom was the voice of discipline and restraint.
"Listen, Alex," he continued, "you can't tell her, ok?"
"Fine. We haven't told Zoe yet, either. Maybe Mom can help her write a letter to the north pole," I snorted, and Dad clapped me on the shoulder.
***
Later that night, back at the hotel room, I climbed into bed beside Sarah. My parents house was small, and after we moved out they had converted Deb's old room into an office. Deb and her husband were staying in my old room, so the three of us stayed in a hotel.
"Can you believe my mom still believes in Santa Claus?" I whispered quietly. Zoe was sleeping in the other bed, and I didn't want to wake her up.
"Why not? I've heard of stranger things, like thinking wearing your team's jersey makes them play better," she said, mocking my sunday night football tradition.
"But...it's Santa. Santa! I'm thinking about telling her some time this weekend. It's not right."
"Don't you dare," she rounded on me, angrily. "Don't you fucking dare!"
"Why not? You think it's ok for someone to believe in a lie like that?"
"I think it's sweet, actually. Sometimes I wish I could believe in something magical like that."
"Weirdo."
I kissed her goodnight, and we fell asleep.
Over the rest of Thanksgiving weekend, I felt conflicted. I had the sneaking suspicion that my dad was trying to play a trick on me. That would be something he'd thoroughly enjoy, but I wasn't sure. If I was wrong, I don't know if he--or Sarah for that matter--would forgive me. The thought kept nagging at me, and a plan formed in my head how I could find out the truth.
***
It was the morning of the 24th of December, and I was driving with Sarah and Zoe to my parents house. In the back of the car was our luggage, along with a giant pile of wrapped presents. Unbeknownst to my wife, I also packed a Santa costume in my bag. I've had it for years now, these kinds of things just invariably show up in your attic when you're parent.