A Tear for My Uncle

I sat down earlier this evening on the couch after dinner with my husband Todd and my two sons Caleb and Sam sitting beside me. "Turn it to the Braves" I heard Caleb say to Todd. We were all huge Braves fans and it was getting close to playoff time and the wild card spot was still up for grabs.

Sitting there, I looked around at my family watching my sons do the tomahawk chop and thought to myself "how lucky I am to have such a wonderful caring husband and two teenage boys who still like to spend time with me and Todd."

Watching the Braves was a ritual for me ever since I could remember. As a young girl, I would sit around with my uncle, who lived in Atlanta and watch with buckets of popcorn and homemade cotton candy as if we were at the game itself. On occasion, we would attend a game or two when my family would travel down to visit my uncle and his family.

Thinking about my uncle brought back many memories as he passed away from cancer when I was twenty two. I felt the tears in my eyes build up as we hadn't spoke much in recent years before his passing. I wish I had that one more chance to tell him I loved him as I glanced toward the ceiling as if I was looking up at him watching down over me.

I got up and walked over to the kitchen to get a glass of my favorite White Zinfandel and heard the boys yelling at what sounded to be a Bryan McCann homerun. Hearing them get a long and being happy with each other brought even more tears to my eyes as I reached up and wiped them away with my finger.

"Mom, you ok" I heard from behind as Sam stood there looking at me as I stood at the counter looking back towards him.

"Yeah I am...just remembering some fun times with your great uncle. You know how I told you about how we use to watch the Braves together and just tonight I guess I am a little upset remembering it all. That's it" I said explaining myself.

Sam shrugged his shoulders not knowing how to react to his crying mother but he walked up to me giving me a hug from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist before grabbing the Doritos and walking back to the living room. My uncle use to hold me that way, I thought.

Sam was the oldest of my boys and just turned eighteen the weekend before. He reminded me a lot of myself when I was his age. He was very aspiring and was excited to graduate and head on to college and do great things.

Sam is a cutie and took after his dad with his locks of dark curly brown hair and tanned skin. On the other hand there was Caleb, who looked nothing like me or Todd. I always joked about him getting switched at birth, but he too was a good looker at fifteen.

I took a sip of my sweet wet wine and refilled my glass to the brim before walking back to sit beside Sam. Sitting there watching the game and chit chatting with everyone. I leaned back resting my head on the cushion behind me and began to think more of my uncle.

I was nineteen, and in my second year in college when a group of girls and myself from my sorority decided to take a weekend trip down to Georgia and head to 6 flags. I hadn't seen my uncle in about four years at this point and he was happy that I called and we did arrange for a little get together. He was thrilled that I came down and couldn't stop complimenting me on how much I grew up in the years since we saw each other last. I saw my uncle in a different way for the first time. His hair was starting to grey but to me, it was very handsome. I remember after our lunch date, he asked me to come back and see his house and all the worked he had put in to fix it up since my cousins had left for college. I had a few hours left of down time before I needed to meet back up at the hotel and get ready for the park later that afternoon.

My uncle had picked me up earlier in the day since my friend Casey drove us down from Nashville, so I didn't have my car. It was such a relaxing moment as we drove through the streets of Buckhead, which is the suburb of Atlanta my uncle resided at the time. His house was still as gorgeous as I remembered with nicely landscaped bushes and a fresh cut lawn. I could still remember the exact smell that lingered as we approached his house down his drive. He walked me around to the backyard showing me his new pool and hot tub before heading inside to the living room.

My uncle opened a bottle of champagne offering me a glass and me proudly accepted as it was my first drink of alcohol. We sat around for a little while talking about the past, present and future with everything that we use to do. I stood up and walked around more and went and looked at the four bedrooms as my uncle followed behind. I walked into my uncle's room last and he stood behind me which brought the memory of my uncle that I will never forget and dare to speak of to this day.

I felt his arms reach around me as if he wanted to hug me, but instead, he didn't let go and began squeezing me into him as he did when I was young. We smiled together as we both peered out of his bedroom window looking out over his pool. It was a warm day and the sun was reflecting on the pool water. I remember his exact words "I miss you so much baby girl" being uttered under his warm breath. As he spoke to me, it gave me chills from head to toe while I leaned back resting my head onto this bulky chest.

We stood there arm and arm holding each other tightly before his right hand lifted off of my body and drifted downward coming to a halt on my abs. His hand felt rough with calices snagging its way across the striped t-shirt I was wearing that afternoon. We giggled during a conversation that left me distracted from the caressing of his finger tips slowly stroking back and forth across stomach and around my belly. I remember closing my eyes and taking long deep breaths while he breathed his warmth, wet breath on the back of my neck with each word he spoke. I felt in awe standing there with him.

I would reach my hand up to his arms and grasping on to his left forearm as it was still wrapped around my chest against my breasts. I could feel his pelvic bone against my behind all that the same time as we embraced with each other. Little words were being spoken at this time and the air condition turning on was all that could be heard. His first move was him lowering his right hand down my stomach to the waist line of my blue jean shorts, and his fingers winding around attempting to unsnap them.

"Hey" I remembered muttering to him in a soft but sweet tone.

"Shhhhhh sweetie, its ok" he calmly spoke.

I closed my eyes as I felt the release of the snap and my zipper being pulled down. I stood still in his arms nervously knowing what was happening, but there was no resistance from me. His hand maneuvered downward, lifting the waist line of my panties giving him access to what was underneath. I could feel his hand press down, scratching through the mound of my thin dark pubic hair before the tips of his finger found my vagina. His arms would tighten around my chest as his fingers were now rubbing up and down along my wet vagina as the musky smell of sex now began to illuminate the air below my nose. I felt his finger tip enter inside of me and his hand pull upward abruptly sending his finger a few inches inside of me. I gasped deeply for a breath as it caught me by surprise.

"Did that feel good" he asked me, and once again all I could do was nod for him and for what seemed to be about thirty seconds of thrusting in and out before releasing his finger from inside of me. I stood there leaning on him, holding on to this forearm, while breathing deep. I didn't want him to stop. With my right hand, I reached down, sliding my shorts over my hips letting them fall to the hardwood floor. He slid my panties down, revealing myself through the window. If anyone of his neighbors were out, we could be seen but there wasn't any. His hand then traced back up my thigh to my vagina and then his finger entered me for the second time. Only this time, he inserted more than one and the faster he went, the looser my vagina got for him, and with every push inside of me, I tried to clinch my insides on to his fingers. He released his grip from my chest and pushed my long black hair over my shoulders and his lips found the back of my neck. His tongue trickled along my neck bone as he kissed me without missing a spot. His hand found the small of my back giving me a slight push in the direction of his tall oak dresser. I stopped myself short of the dresser supporting myself with my hands on the edge when I heard his zipper being pulled down. I looked down to the floor in front of me and could see him positioning his feet directly behind mine and His left hand began to grip my waist on the left side under my shirt. I sensed that his was positioning his penis to enter me and sure enough I began feeling him applying pressure with his penis against me trying to push his way inside.

He was able to work his way inside of me after about fifteen seconds. I leaned my head down and rested it on the edge of his dresser as my uncle

began thrusting upward and inward repeatedly over and over.

I hadn't had much experience with sex. This was only my 3rd time to have sex and for some unexplainable reason, I was perfectly fine with what was occurring in his bedroom. I could tell his penis was long as it tunneled its way through, reaching a spot inside of me that the others hadn't.

With every push inside, I could hear a rough smack as his body collided with round butt. The feeling of his penis inside of me, by far, had been better than the previous guys. We didn't kiss, or make out, or perform oral or anything and I didn't need to as he provided me with more pleasure than I could imagine. It may have been because of the dangers of how we were related that brought more intensity and passion to it. We stood there at his dresser having sex for a few minutes before he pulled out of me and escorted me to his bed.

For the first time, he turned me to face him and he lifted my shirt over my head. He reached around and unclasped my bra and hung it over the back of the hair next to us. I remember looking down at his penis as it glistened from being inside of me. He removed his shirt before laying me backwards resting my head on a pillow lying on his bed. His hands reached down to my knees and as he pushed my legs opening, I bended my knees. He climbed on top of me supporting his body with his hands and began to fuck me vigorously for a few minutes before slowing down. I laid there beneath my uncle for ten more minutes as he fucked me. Our bodies would smack together creating a loud noise and his headboard also kept hitting the wall. I reached back several times with my hands to try and prevent the noise, but it didn't work. I had my legs as open as I could with my feet to the side of him. My toes gripped the red comforter that covered his bed as our bodies moved in motion to our sex. My hands moved back and forth from the headboard to his shoulders.

"Sara" my uncle moaned.

Sweat drops had formed on my uncle's face and slowly dripped off of him landing on my neck. Then I felt his penis thrust in me connecting with my cervix. I felt a sharp pain but I was over it quickly as he was cumming inside of me. It was the first time I let a guy do this and honestly I wasn't expecting my uncle to do it, but I remembered earlier in our drive around Atlanta we had a conversation about me being on birth control because of how my mom was freaked out that I would become pregnant when I went to college.

I remained underneath him with my legs out to the side as he finished cumming and his penis was still planted inside of me. Going through my mind at the time, was nervousness, anxiousness, helplessness amongst a lot of other emotions. I really loved my uncle and now within those few moments, we had become lovers.

"That was definitely unexpected" I remember saying to him and seeing the look on his face was almost priceless as if he didn't know what to say other than "I'm sorry." I wasn't mad at him by any means and didn't feel any awkwardness as he climbed over me, off the bed and handed me my shorts.

"Maybe we should dress" he said to me as he slid his shorts on and I did the same. He wouldn't look me in the eyes for a little while and he probably felt very ashamed of what we just did. After we finished getting our clothes on, I finished my glass of champagne and grabbed my purse and we headed out to his car. After he dropped my off, it was the last time I saw him as he died from cancer a few years later.

I laid there looking around the room at Sam and at Caleb. I knew that what happened those many years ago still controlled me to a point to this day. I hadn't ever told a sole. My uncle was nearly my age now, and I was nearly Caleb's age. I looked at my son and my eyes wondered from his feet, up this calves, and to this exposed thighs admiring his youthful body and I finally got it. I knew what i did to my uncle and how he wanted me because of my innocent youthfulness. It wasn't before long before I leaned over and hugged Sam, pulling him down on to me where his head would rest against my chest as the Braves got the final out of the game.

Todd and Caleb rose and headed out of the room while Sam and I laid there. I was rubbing Sam on his arms as I did when he was a young boy. He always loved that feeling and never hesitated to ask. As he laid there, I felt that same desire for him as I felt for my uncle that night many years ago, but I thought to myself, would I be willing?