This is a story about a son's love for his mother, and her surrender to it. She is a very naive person, who needs his love and guidance.
*****
Hi,
Is there anyone out there that can tell me how to cope with a son who wants not only to have sex with you? But wants to genuinely take you to bed, to not only love you, but make rampant love to you? This isn't a fad, I already know that. I thought it was at first, but now I know different. It is also the most confusing conundrum I have ever faced or had to deal with.
You see I know he loves me, not only as his mom, but as the woman he desires above all others, to the extent that he has finished with his long term girlfriend, to kind of concentrate on me. To make me realise and understand, that I am the one, the only one.
This is difficult to relate because it is kind of already in two parts. Part one, are of his attempts to seduce me and get me to be his. And to be honest, being his, has a great appeal to me. Why you may ask, well, I'll try to explain. But please forgive me if I come across a bit disjointed about it.
I had my son at an early age due to being raped by a member of my family, not a close member I hasten to add. And no one has ever known who the father was but me, no one. I refused point blank to name him. Anyway the perpetrator of this deadly deed is now extinct, the bastard died sixteen years ago. But he did give me the light of my life, my blessed son Liam.
He is now eighteen, but it all started several years ago, more or less when he reached puberty. I noticed him looking at me, being nice to me. Though he has been like that throughout his life. But I could tell he was noticing me in other ways. I just ignored it, but I knew about it, and was well aware of the effect I had on him.
Even dressing down didn't work, I tried ignoring him when he got too close sometimes. I chastised him on many occasions. But Liam was Liam, and so on we went. He grew, and is now a strapping young man, big really. Plays sports, keeps fit, and doesn't drink, yet! Certainly not into drugs, and doesn't smoke, so all is well in those directions.
He is, even in my humble opinion, very good looking, tall at 6ft 1" a good weight, and is Mr Confidant himself. He has girls chasing him, and I keep hoping that one day he will meet Miss Right. But up to now it's still me who's Miss Right. I am flattered beyond belief by him, I could not wish for a better son, in fact he is not only my son, we are best friends too.
I have never married, never wanted to be, and I've never even met a man who I would even consider settling down with. I have had plenty of boyfriends, had plenty of sex, but the sky as yet has never lit up for me, and I doubt it ever will. But Liam thinks he can light me up, and if I were to give him the chance, if I were to succumb to his ways, I think he would.
And that is half my problem, he seems to know he has me partially hanging off him, he too knows I love him, as a mother yes. But he knows I love him properly, though it doesn't detract from me being his mother too. I love being with him,, he makes me laugh, he can make me cry, we discuss things, and he even asks me about sex, or he did do. That was until he told me he was practising for the real thing. When I asked him what that meant, his answer was as blunt as you like, Me!
By the way my name is Georgina, or Georgi to my friends, I am only thirty three yeas old, Liam as I have said is only just eighteen, so the age gap is in real terms, quite close. Which I suppose is why we can relate to each other more as friends, rather than mother and son, get me?
I am fairly good looking, though if you listened to Liam, I am Gods only gift to the female world worthy of consideration for beautiful sexy woman of the planet. I have dark brown hair, a soft face, a good body, and as I've said I have had boyfriends. And my extreme bits are still very sensitive to the right touch or squeeze.
I am quite tall for a woman, around 5ft 9" or so, I think I'm a little overweight but Liam insists I am perfect, so who's to argue? I weigh in at about 125lbs, so you can make your own mind up. I like to dress well, Oh before I forget, my parents are quite wealthy, and they stood by me in the early years, and in fact they still do.
Now back to Liam, as he has told me, I know he is sexually active, and yes, he says he practises safe sex which I am glad about. I would hate it if he ended up in the kind of boat I did, although in my case, life is now perfect, almost. I have taught him to be respectful to his elders. He has done well at school and soon he is in college, our local one, which is an excellent choice. And of course he will be still at home with me.
Now he is an adult, legally that is, he has upped the ante with me. I am now his target full time, and I know I am weakening. And yes, I am having fun with it too, he doesn't try to bully me, he isn't even that insistent, but it's there all the time. I can feel it. Even though I won't show it, I am sure that one day, reasonably soon, he will indeed, get me if I'm not too careful.
When he is at home, which is about 3 or 4 nights a week he insists we sit on the sofa together to watch television, or we play scrabble or something. And he holds my hand, sits real close. And when I win, I get a great big hug and a kiss on the cheek for it. And though I know what's happening, how can I tell him off, remonstrate with him when he is just being so nice, so adorable, and so loving.
I sigh with inner happiness sometimes, a woman, well this woman anyway loves attention, especially when it's attention like this, even if it is from my own son. "I love you mom," he says, but it's not just the words, it's the way he says them. There is real depth there, real feeling.
There have been a few times when I have felt so wanted and needed by him, even overwhelmed by the way he is. I have almost cupped his face in my hands and kissed him, which would have led ultimately to the real thing I know it. And those eyes of his tell their own story, it's written in them.
He has never even batted an eye when I have brought a man home on occasions; he just seems to know that they'll be moved on in a while. And while I have had sex with some of them, I have never done it with Liam in the house. He does brush up against me, and I must admit that that does get me excited.
He feel of his hard young body trying to attract mine is a very pleasurable feeling. He lets me know silently, that his sole purpose is to make me happy. That I come first and foremost in everything he does, everything he says. It's all for me, and with me in mind. He knows me, it's as simple as that really.
He said to me last week, "Mom, I know you are a little reticent about you and I, but it is real, it has to happen. We both know it, it's just a question of when, not if." And that put it in a nutshell really. I half nodded my head to acknowledge what he had said, but daren't speak. He can rock me back on my heels sometimes.
And now I find myself making, or trying to make myself look good just for him. When he is on his way home he calls me. First to tell me he loves me, and second to tell me what time he will be there. And then I'm in the mirror, putting a little make up on, trying this dress, that dress, this skirt, that skirt, heels or no heels.
And when he comes in I get very suddenly breathless, I feel like a little girl sometimes waiting for her loving daddy. I tell myself off for doing it, but I do it just the same. When he walks in I try to be sat down so he has to come to me to kiss my cheek. But sometimes I feel so excited I'm at the door waiting for him, so I can hug him tight to me. Which again, simply leaves me breathless once more.
What I wasn't aware of was, he was making plans, he had decided it had gone on long enough, that I wouldn't fight him, that I would give in to him. I was resigning myself to the fact too, but I just couldn't bring myself to bring my barriers down. And I think Liam knew that too.
Which was why, I think, he took the action that he did.
Now the Part 2 I was talking about.
Part 1 was the Before.
Part 2 is the after, past tense as it were.
He had called me to say, "I love you mom, my beautiful sexy mom," I did smile when he said things like that. "And I'll be home in thirty." I was already showered and changed, and as it was a warm summer's day, I was wearing a nice skirt, just above the knee by about 3" it was all black. The top I had on was like a short sleeved burnt orange man's shirt, but designed for a woman, it was a fitted one. I had no shoes on my feet.
My hair was down, I had looked in the mirror, and said to myself, "He'll like the way you look today Georgi!" I heard him pull on to the drive and waited for him to come in. I was at the sink, being busy with something that I still can't remember to this day. Liam walked in and straight to me, I half turned, offered my cheek for him to kiss which he did, he also hugged me.
I turned back to the sink, I was inexplicably feeling very excited by just having him near me. He does that, I look, or even think of him and I excite, tingle, it's silly I know, even unreasonably justified. But he has this effect on me, and I know its grown along with him. I sensed a great awareness or imminence coming from him. I knew he was right behind me, and I expected another loving hug. Instead he said to me.
"Mom, hold out your hand behind you please, I have a present for you."