A Mother's Letter

04-01-07

My Darling George,

As sons go you're a 5-star rating; everything a mother could possibly ask for. Despite all that happened in the early years, you've turned into a fine young man and everything you've achieved I am so proud of. Who would've believed that we would become so close eventually, everything falling into place so easily. None of our friends or close relatives would ever think it would they!! It's brought us some merriment thinking of the looks on their faces if they'd even suspected, those nights when we lay curled up on the sofa watching a movie before retiring to....dare I say....our bed for the night. When we both found respective partners, I expected that to be an end to our relationship, that part of it at least. You seemed so happy, and I was... erm...settled so I shut that couple of years into a closet, only to be taken out at special moments. To be looked at and carefully put away again. It wasn't easy but I suppose it wasn't meant to be forever; circumstance wouldn't allow that.

As time went by we seemed to see less and less of each other as our lives were so busy. You'd moved into a new area and I'd been promoted at work, which meant a lot of travelling. We tried to talk on the phone as much as we could, but it was always hurried because I was rushing off somewhere or your partner wanted your time. Therefore it was a nice surprise to find we were all free around Xmas this year and in agreement that we would all get together New Year's Eve and spend New Year's Day together.

I was filled with anticipation and a touch of dread. For all there hadn't been anything like the closeness we once shared -- we'd touched ourselves together over the phone occasionally but that was about the sum total of physical attention we'd allowed ourselves -- this still could be awkward. Do we ever truly put feelings to one side when they're as strong as ours? All I knew was that as the day drew closer I was feeling more and more excitement. My partner was amazed at how happy I'd been over Xmas; and how the light-heartedness seemed to be growing all the time. On my part I was feeling like a teenager going out on a first date. I deliberated over what to take to wear, what make-up to use, what to do with my hair. In fact, the only thing I was sure of was packing my favourite perfume....yours too as it turned out. I can't wear it without thinking of you.

Eventually the 31st came about and we were on the road. The radio was playing quietly in the background and suddenly it played 'our song'. Remember that first dance we had, the very first night we felt the sexual tension building? I'm sitting in the car remembering with a smile how it felt when you were holding me close. I could feel your heart beating against my chest, the first stirrings down below. I held my breath as I felt you harden, not wanting to embarrass you, or to stop the sensations I was feeling too. You were oblivious to my feelings as you nuzzled into my neck. Maybe you forgot who I was as you gently bit my earlobe, but the hardness was becoming more pronounced. I had to break the spell and asked you if you would come outside with me as it was becoming quite warm inside. It seemed the most natural thing in the world for you to lead me outside, rest me against the wall and carry on where you left off. By this time it was apparent that you knew exactly whom you were with because as you were playing with my ear again, I heard you murmur 'Oh God mum, I want you'. I wanted you so much too and kissed you with passion I didn't know existed in me.

Next thing we were getting out of a taxi outside my home and hurrying through the front door. Maybe I needed to slow things down a little because I remember going into the kitchen to pour a couple of drinks. You didn't follow me through but when I came into the living room you were sitting on the sofa waiting for me, your arm along the back of it, your eyes beckoning me to sit with you. Soon as I sat down you dropped your arm so that your hand could reach around the back of my head and pull me towards you. Once again we were kissing so passionately. This time my hand dropped gently to your lap and I could feel you pressing against your trousers. I wanted so much to release you from them but felt unable to make such a forward move. I needn't have worried because you undid your trousers with your free hand and guided me in to touch you. I couldn't believe I was holding you in my hand, so firm and inviting.

You'd slipped your hand up my thigh and you were probing through my panties. I could feel how moist I was and it was no surprise when you brought your finger up to my lips that it was shining and sweet tasting. You touched my lips with your wet finger then gently kissed me, sharing the taste. I wanted you so much by now that I stood up, held out my hand and hoped you would rise and come with me. Somehow you ended up on the stairs before me, holding my hand and leading me upstairs. We went into my room and undressed each other; I marvelled at your naked body as I slipped off your clothes, noticed how erect you were. You in turn took off my dress, taking off my stockings, bra and panties very slowly, and spent an age gazing at me. You explored every part of my body with your eyes, fingers and lastly your tongue until I was almost screaming for you to take me. Instead you very quietly asked me if it was at all possible for me to kiss you, and indicated where you'd like to be kissed. Never would I ever have expected to have my fingers around you and now here you were, wanting me to take you in my mouth. I kissed a path down your stomach, across your hair, running my tongue underneath you until finally taking you in between my lips.

You let out a sigh and put your hand round the back of my head and guided me. Slowly and not too deeply at first but then you raised and lowered your hips and put a little pressure on my head to guide me faster and deeper. This was new to me and I was grateful for the help you were giving me. When you stopped me and laid me down I expected you to take me but you didn't. You kissed my stomach in the same way I'd kissed you moments before, working your way across the hair until your tongue reached my sensitive spot. It was my turn to gasp, especially as you rolled your tongue, at the same time slipping a finger inside me. You gently stroked me from inside but it was your tongue giving me the most pleasure.

All too soon you stopped and came back to kiss me, once again letting me taste myself, this time from your lips and tongue. I arched my back and opened my legs for you, holding my arms out to welcome you. You didn't slip inside straight away, teasing me by holding yourself to my lips. I saw the smile on your face, the love in your eyes as you reached down and took a nipple in your mouth. As your sucking became harder you slid inside me, pushing yourself deep inside, probing up to my womb where you belonged all those years ago. I wanted to be totally wrapped in your arms so we moved sideways, you still inside me and you wrapped your arms around me as I wanted you to, I my legs around you. We were moving as one, my son and I, whispering our thoughts to each other; words of endearment for our ears only. All too soon, I could tell you were getting close to cumming...I wasn't too far away myself. Just a few more gentle thrusts was all it needed for you to be telling me how much you love me, as I felt you tense and let go. I was washed over by the most wonderful feelings I've ever experienced; they were never ending and more powerful than anything I've ever felt.

It took so long for our breathing to become normal I thought it would never happen, and when it did we fell asleep where we lay, in each others arms, my legs still wrapped around you. We must have been in a very deep and settled sleep because that's where we woke the next morning. We put the radio on and there it was; our song from the night before, the one that started this whole story.

'We're almost there' came into my thoughts. The song that stirred so many memories had long finished, and we were indeed almost there. I felt a lump in my throat and a tightness in my chest. How would things be between us after all this time? When we pulled up on the front you both came out to greet us. You hadn't changed at all; maybe thinner and more lined than last time but still the good looks and that wonderful warm smile. Did I detect a tinge of sadness in the eyes though? I chided myself and moved into your open arms for a much needed hug. I don't think I lingered there too long but the temptation was there to kiss you. I settled for a peck on the cheek though and moved to hug your partner. The reception was less warm and a little puzzling. Not to worry, we were here together for a few days and I was sure things would be okay.

It was much later in the day when we were fed, watered and rested that you and I had the chance to chat. I asked if everything was okay and you sighed. It obviously wasn't but you were reluctant to say anything. I didn't push you....I was sure if you wanted to talk you would when the time felt right. We ate dinner and had a few glasses of wine and the atmosphere lifted considerably. We were laughing and sharing stories from our pasts, although of course we had stories best kept between the 2 of us. All of a sudden we realised it wasn't far off midnight and almost time to toast the New Year.

We filled our glasses once more and counted down with the clocks chimes. 6-5-4-3-2-1..... it was another year over. We all hugged and kissed and this time I did linger in your arms. The old feelings came flooding back, not just for me I noticed through my skirt; I could feel the stirrings of someone getting aroused. Quickly moving away, I hugged the others in our company and made my excuses to go upstairs. Headache, too much to drink, I'm not sure what I said but I had to get upstairs and calm myself before any suspicions were raised. I hoped no one had noticed, and judging from his reaction when he later joined me, he hadn't. He climbed into bed, gave me the customary kiss on the cheek, muttered his Goodnights and started breathing heavily. I felt a little disappointed. Part of me was thinking if he had noticed something at least there might be some reaction towards me other than the indifference I'd been putting up with lately.

It was some time after I'd gone to bed, and I was still restless, so I slipped on my robe and crept downstairs for a warm drink. I expected to be on my own but there was a faint light showing underneath the living room door. I knew it would be you even before the door opened so I made 2 drinks and slipped inside the room to sit with you. You looked so unhappy my heart went out to you and I wanted to scoop you into my arms and kiss everything better. Why do mothers do that? Assume a kiss on the forehead and a big hug will put everything right? In our case it could make everything so very wrong.

You patted the sofa next to you and I offered you the cup and sat down. After a few seconds of staring into the cup you sighed and started to tell me how things weren't right between you and her. You shifted yourself so you could lie with your head in my lap and I, without any thought, started to run my fingers through your hair. You told me how things were for you, I told you how things were with me and it seemed we were both in the same situation of indifference. We sat chatting for ages in the lamplight, the years slipping away until it was that first evening all over again. You opened the bottom of my gown to reveal my panties and placed a kiss on them. I kept my hand on the back of your head not wanting you to move from there. Slowly you pushed a finger inside me, bringing it to your lips and giving me the familiar kiss, sharing the taste once again. A hand around my breast you lifted yourself and I could see the evidence of how you were feeling too.

I ran my finger up and down you, feeling you harden more and asked with my eyes if you'd like me to kiss you there. I knew the answer already but needed reassurance that this was right for both of us. You nodded and moved your hips forwards towards my mouth, all the invitation I needed to take you. I could taste you, you were so excited, so didn't want to dwell there in case it became too much for you. We were lying on the floor by now, sinking deep into the rug. I wanted to feel you sinking deep inside me, but you held yourself against me, looking at me all the while with those big brown eyes, so full of passion. Our eyes were locked as you slipped inside me. You were always so gentle with me and tonight was no exception. I was enjoying you too much to want to move to our favourite position; having you above me, kissing each nipple in turn was so sensual I didn't want it to end. Of course it had to, and eventually you told me you loved me and asked to give me your sperm. I was so close to the edge myself it was the right time for both of us and I remember whispering how much I loved you too as the first waves washed over me. You told me how much you loved me too as you came, giving me all you possibly could of yourself. We lay for a while holding each other, then I think maybe we both realised where we were and the circumstances. We came to our senses and went up to our respective rooms without a word. Things were strained for the rest of the visit and we avoided contact totally, making sure we weren't alone.

George, we were so lucky not to be caught don't you think? I'm writing you this letter because I'm not sure when or indeed if we'll get the opportunity to be that way again, although I know I'd like to. It's been a few days now and we haven't been in touch. I'm not sure what we could say to each other, all I do know is that if we met again I would want you and that maybe isn't the way forward. I need your thoughts and guidance but I'm not sure if I'll like your answers. Still, the air needs to be cleared and I need your help. Please call me when you feel able darling.

Bye for now

Your loving mum.

xxx