A Mother's Concern

Chapter 1 - She needs to know

17 days to go...

Sandy always had a mother's concern for what her son John is up to, but after his father Vincent died 7 years ago she had to start worrying for two people. They mourned Vincent and will always mourn him on some level, but at some point Sandy started to feel lonely and her girlfriends told her it was time to start dating again. She couldn't do it, she said, she needed to raise her son John. Now that he'd turned 18 and was heading off to college, it was dawning on her that he was going to be finally out of her hands, and she was going to be truly alone.

John and Sandy live in a small two bedroom apartment. Sandy is a high school teacher who decided not to do summer school classes this year to be closer to John before he headed off to college. She hopes John's growing up right but the fact is he hasn't had a father figure in his life for the formative years post puberty, and Sandy simply is at a loss at how to raise a young man through that emotional hailstorm. As a single parent raising one child, mourning the love of her life, things were very hard for her, but she felt lucky that her son was such a sweet boy.

John seemed to never talk back to her, or use any sort of emotional manipulation to get what he wanted, he seemed to step up after Vincent died, knowing that he couldn't be a little brat. He wasn't the "man of the house" necessarily but he knew he had to help out more with chores to make things easier on his mother, and one of the big ways he tried to help out was to simply not be a burden on her whenever possible. He studied hard without her prodding him, he avoided trouble at school, and he had his eyes on things that he thought would make his mother proud, namely going to college, getting a proper job, and becoming a proper man.

Sandy got John a computer freshman year of high school, a small laptop that he said was needed for his coursework. He used it to search on the internet for research topics, reading about math and science and literature, he said. He also started using it for computer games, she watched him play a few games from time to time and they seemed harmless enough. Not full of murder and violence or even sex, but just time wasters so it appeared. She figured everyone needs a way to de-stress every so often, so she was ok with it but she made sure to keep checking every month to understand what exactly he was spending all this time on.

John said he was playing computer games online with his friends from school and even friends he made exclusively online, and she'd go in his room and watch him with his headphones with a microphone on screaming every so often like he was talking to them about some game they were playing. Seemed like what kids do, basically play games and amuse themselves, it just was on the internet for his generation. Normal, healthy stuff moved online, and he was getting good grades, seemed to have good friends at school, so there didn't seem much to worry about, even if she wished he'd get off that computer a bit more often.

Sandy noticed John started masturbating a few years ago by piecing together some evidence that seemed to tell the whole story. One night she noticed he locked his bedroom door at night. Sandy told John he needed to keep his door unlocked in case of an emergency and she needed to go to him and wake him up, in case there was a fire. John seemed surprisingly unwilling to agree to this, but finally he gave in. Sandy then noticed he would lock his door at night right before bed. While the door was locked she'd hear none of the talking or screaming to his friends she was used to from an online gaming session. Then he'd head to the toilet around 10:30 every night and flush it almost immediately without any sort of "bathroom noises" emanating from the room, then head back to his room. This combined with the box of tissues he'd always have in his room, which would need to be replaced constantly whether he had a cold or not, seemed to be tell-tale signs of a teenage boy discovering sexuality.

Sandy didn't ever bring her theorizing up with John, and with Vincent out of the picture she had no one to ask if fathers talk to boys about this stuff. She simply decided it best to not discuss it with John. But she always wondered what he was thinking about, what did he find arousing?

She wished so badly she could talk to Vincent about this. She asked her girlfriends, but none of them had any good advice. One who was seemingly completely in denial said she knew her son didn't masturbate. Her friend said she knew this because she had an internet monitoring program called NetWatcher and she used that to monitor his online activity. It told her what webpages he visited and he never visited anything pornographic or untoward. She said her son knew she used that app, and it was the only way she'd allow the internet into her household. Sandy thought that was a bit much, and she didn't want to install this app, and alter her son's behavior by telling him about it, she just was curious and concerned. Her girlfriend said on the NetWatcher online community she knew it was possible to install the app without your family knowing about it, she said a few parents did that and strongly recommended it. She said a few parents talked about how their kids found out about it and that was World War 3 though.

Maybe it's not really a mother's place to know these things, but the thought couldn't escape.With John going off to college she began to worry more about whether he had a good head on his shoulders. She decided she needed to know what he was doing all these nights. She gave him a computer because she wanted him to prepare for school and the next major career, but he seemed to use it to play video games on it during the day, and look at porn at night. What type of porn? She didn't know.

One day when John went off to play basketball with his friends, she went to his computer immediately after he left the house to look at the web history. There she saw he was on the internet from about 9-10pm, then suddenly there was a gap in usage, then about 10:22 there was internet usage again, right around the time she remembered hearing the toilet flush. There was no sign of porn use at all. John was hiding it even from his web browser. Sandy researched online about incognito mode and realized John was being careful enough to hide his tracks either from the internet companies or possibly his snooping mom. The only way she could ever know was to download NetWatcher onto his computer. And she had to do it without John noticing.

Sandy read online about the process. She needed access to his computer, an online account and to simply make the program not visible to the user. It seemed easy enough, the websites he visited even in incognito mode would be sent to her online reporting portal, and she should look and see what all the devices in her household were looking at. She set it up on John's computer. Tested it out by visiting a few sites in incognito mode and confirmed that it worked. Then closed his computer. She knew tonight that her curiosity would be finally satisfied. She was scared and nervous, what was her boy up to? She'd finally know.

John arrived home from basketball and showered. They had dinner together and Sandy tried to make conversation as best she could while avoiding the thing she really was thinking about, what do you do at night my sweet boy? John was heading to college in only 17 days, which seemed way too soon to Sandy but not yet so soon to bring it up and make plans for what to do in their final days together before he heads off to college. Sandy asked if had any plans tonight, John said he was gonna just play "Minecraft" with his friends tonight, and Sandy said she was just going to go to her bedroom and read and they were going to spend the night in. With both Sandy and John off this summer, Sandy felt like maybe they were letting an opportunity to spend time together slip away, but she was just happy he was under her roof, and now she could see exactly what he does on that computer at night.

After cleaning the dishes she went to her room and looked at the NetWatcher web monitoring portal, and sure enough John is playing Minecraft. She nervously wonders if maybe she made a mistake and he was going to see the NetWatcher monitoring software somehow, he knew his way around computers much better than she did. But he didn't say anything, no "WHAT THE FUCK!" yelled from his room. This was going to work Sandy realized. Sandy is going to finally get inside the erotic mind of her son.

She starts getting a little flustered at the thought of her son stripping and stroking his cock in a little bit. She was going to be let into that world, even if it was a voyeur looking at the boy's internet logs. She will watch along with him, look at the pictures together. She is going to get an intimate peek into his mind and his sexual desire.

At about 10:10 John's friends all say they had to sign off for the day and the game ended. John logs off the Minecraft server. He clicks the lock on his door and heads to pornhub, and he clicks on a playlist he had bookmarked for future porn consumption, labeled "Gangbang Sluts." He clicks around until he finds a video that looks hot to him. He thinks the girl has nice tits. In this video she is being penetrated in her mouth, her vagina, and her anus while making orgasmic moans. The man penetrating her ass starts choking her from behind. She says she is a dirty slut and John starts stroking his cock to it. He lets the video run for about 50 seconds while he strokes harder and faster and then he comes, spurting his load onto the bed of tissues he set up beforehand. He immediately turns off the video, wipes his dick clean and takes the pile of tissues into the bedroom and flushes them down the toilet. He then heads back to his room and tries to head off to sleep.

In Sandy's room, sleep was the last thing on her mind. She looks at the webpage logs. She goes to the pornhub website, she watches the video her son did. It is the most disgusted she'd ever been in her life, and she starts crying.