Thank you to everyone who responded. Your kind words have given this story hope and inspiration. They make me want to bring the characters as alive as I can make them. As always, constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you for reading! As long as you keep reading I don't plan on stopping any time soon.
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50...60...70...I watched closely as the speedometer slowly rose. We were weaving in between cars and different lanes. Mom sat in the passenger seat with her hands in her lap. She hadn't spoken a word since we peeled out of the parking lot of the hotel. I wanted to talk to her and get her to open up, but I knew that she needed time. The instant she read the text from Dad her face was nothing but terror. She had no color left in it and she was visibly trembling.
I kept driving down the interstate. I had no clue where we were going. I suppose I was leaving it in the hands of fate. All I knew is that we had to find somewhere to go. Going to another hotel wasn't an option and going back home certainly wasn't an option. My eyes remained on the road as I made the occasional glance over at mom. I softly placed my hand on her thigh trying to calm her and reassure her that I was there. She immediately flinched and a nervous lump formed in my throat.
"Ummm...Mom, please talk to me and tell me what's going on inside that head. What are you thinking?"
From the corner of my eye I could see her glance in my direction and then a soft sigh escaped her lips. "I'm sorry, Honey, I'm just scared and nervous and don't know what to do."
There was a tremble in her voice and I could tell that she was on the verge of tears. Honestly, I was surprised that she hadn't already broken down.
"Sweetheart, there are just so many things going on inside my head right now that I can't think straight. I can't stop thinking about your father and I can't stop thinking about what we did last night."
That was when she really lost it and the tears began to flow as her face became red and splotchy. My mind couldn't stop thinking. It was spinning out of control. "Is she upset about what happened last night? Is she afraid of Dad? Worst of all, is she afraid of me?" My stomach began to churn and tumble at the thought of me being the cause of her tears. I was supposed to protect her and not make her cry.
I just kept driving trying not to show the turmoil inside me on my face. I knew that she needed me to be the strong one right now. I didn't know where I was going and I was just driving down the highway aimlessly.
"Look Mom, we need to think of something to do. We need somewhere to go. Where would you feel most comfortable?"
Mom opened the glove box and pulled out a napkin. She softly wiped her eyes and then her nose. I could tell that she was trying to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Eventually she was able to talk to me. "My sisters, we can go see my sister Emily. She'll take us in."
I didn't really know my aunt Emily. I had met her a few times growing up, but Dad never really approved of anyone on her side of the family. I never knew why and had always thought it best not to ask. I knew that Mom and aunt Emily were only a couple of years apart in age and that I had a cousin, but that's about it.
"Mom, do you even know where she lives," I asked curiously. I was confused and honestly kinda surprised.
Through the occasional sniffle Mom was able to respond. "Yes, Sweetie. Her and I have kept in touch over the years secretly. She never liked your Dad even a little bit and has been trying to get me away for years now. I'm sorry that I kept this a secret from you."
This sudden revelation had me in shock. I had no clue that Mom was keeping secrets from Dad. I couldn't believe that she hadn't told me, but at the same time I understood. I placed my hand on her thigh again. This time she didn't flinch. I gave it a light squeeze just letting her know that I was there. It was an unspoken communication that just told her that I would always be there for her.
The drive seemed forever. The fact that Mom barely spoke only made matters worse. The tension would continue to build with each passing awkward silence. Any time I tried talking with her I only received one or two word answers. I knew that she was upset and scared and I tried not to take it personally. I really wanted to discuss last night, but I knew that now wasn't the time. I didn't want to push her or pressure her or cause her any more stress.
In between thoughts of Dad all I could think about was Mom and our experience. I could still feel her warm and soft hand wrapped around my shaft. I could still hear her moans echoing in my head. The memory of the smell of her sex only turned me on. My pants were beginning to tent and my heart was racing. The more I thought about it the hornier I got. My palms were sweating and my grip on the steering wheel was causing my knuckles to turn white. About an hour later I turned slightly towards Mom.
"Look, Mom, we need to talk about last night. I know you have a lot on your mind, but so do I. We can't sweep this under the rug."
Mom nodded her head and softly stated that she knew, but that she didn't know how to approach the subject. It was apparent that the butterflies in her stomach were going crazy, but at least she wasn't crying anymore.
"Honey...I don't know what to say. Last night was amazing and I really needed it, but I can't help but feel it was wrong."
I thought I was going to throw up. The one response I didn't want is the one response she gave me. "Does she really think it was wrong? Does she seriously think that what we did was a mistake?" I thought to myself. I took her hand in mind and I was surprised that she didn't pull away. She was shaking like a leaf and her hand was sweaty. I interlocked our fingers together as I continued to drive. Mom pointed to an exit up ahead and I took it.
After getting off of the interstate I found a rest area about a couple of miles down the road. I immediately pulled in. We had to talk. We had to have a serious talk. I knew that once we got to aunt Emily's house we wouldn't have a chance. I put the car in park and turned to Mom. She looked like she was on the verge of tears again. My hands found both of hers. She stared at me for a moment. I couldn't quite put my finger on the emotion written on her face. Was it nerves? Was it regret? Was it anger? I started to speak, but she raised her finger to stop me.
"Jason, Sweetheart, you're my only son and I love you. Last night was amazing. You made me feel things I haven't felt in a long time, but I don't know what came over me. It was wrong and it's something I can never take back."
I started to speak and tell her that I don't want her to take it back. I wanted to tell her so many things, but she held up her finger again. I wiped a tear from her face with my thumb. I could tell that she was fighting with herself and it broke my heart.
"Listen Honey, I needed a connection last night. I needed...something. I don't know how to explain it. I needed to be held and be loved. It was something that I had craved for so long, but I shouldn't have taken advantage of you."
This time I cut her off. I wanted to grab her and kiss her and make her forget all of those thoughts, but even though I didn't have much experience with girls I knew that that only happened in the movies. "Mom, you didn't take advantage of me. I'm eighteen. I could've stopped it, but I didn't want to. We're both consenting adults. I don't regret it for a minute. I want it, Mom. You just said yourself that it was amazing. It could be even more amazing."
She squeezed my hands as they say in her lap. I was on the verge of tears and my head was pounding from trying to hold them back. She was staring at our hands intently as we sat there in the empty parking lot of the deserted rest area.
"Honey, what do you expect? Are you thinking we can actually have a future together? Sweetheart, I'm forty years old. You have your whole life ahead of you. I will always love you no matter what. I'm grateful for how you're taking care of me, but this is reality. This isn't some fairytale."
It was my turn to interrupt up her. "Stop Mom, just stop, please. I know that I am not a ladies man and don't have a lot of experience, but I know that it wasn't a mistake and I know that deep down you don't think it was one either." I swallowed away that nervous lump in my throat. I tried to hide my trembling from her but since she was holding my hands I knew that it was impossible. I took a deep breath and stared out the window for a moment trying to figure out what to say next. "What happened, Mom? This morning you were fine with it and seemed excited and seemed happy. I thought that maybe I was the one to make you that happy after last night."
"Darling, you did make me happy last night and this morning, but then I saw that text from your father and I snapped back to reality. Do you have to make it harder than it already is? Why can't we just forget that last night ever happened?"