CHAPTER 6: FOOLISH GAMES
Colin arrived home from school after finishing basketball practice. When he entered the apartment he was surprised to find his mother's coat hanging up behind the door and her purse and keys on the shelf by the door. It was only four-thirty; it was unusual for her to be home this early. He didn't see her in the living room or kitchen so he decided to check the bedroom. He found Aileen lying on her side in bed and he could hear soft sobs coming from her.
Colin's heart stopped as he feared the worst. "Mom, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.
Aileen looked up at Colin; her eyes and nose were red and she was clutching a handful of tissues. "Oh nothing," she said, "I've just been shown what a complete fool I am once again. Nothing new."
Colin climbed into the bed behind his mother and laid down spooning her. His arm went around her waist and he held her close to him. "What happened?" He asked her softly.
Aileen retold the account of the conversation she had with Patrick earlier in the afternoon, pausing periodically as her voice cracked or she had to dab at her eyes with a tissue. She finished by saying, "After I left the pub I felt so ill I called in sick at work for the rest of the day. I just wanted to come home."
"I'm so sorry Mom," Colin said giving her a hug. "Please don't call yourself a fool though, because you're not. I would never have believed Uncle Pat would condone something like this either."
"Colin what if we just picked up and left after you graduated?" Aileen asked. "What's keeping us here? We can just leave and move anywhere, somewhere we could be known as a couple. The only reason I would have wanted to stay here was to stay close to family. But I know now, you are all the family I need."
"You're all the family I need," Colin said, "and nothing is keeping us here. After I graduate we'll move anywhere you want. As long as I'm with you I'll be the happiest man in the world. We'll be free and live like the married couple we really are in our hearts."
"Oh Colin, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much!"
"I love you too." Colin said hugging her as close to him as he could. He really felt he held the most precious thing in his life in his arms and the feeling of joy she brought him was almost too much to bear.
"Colin, please promise me you'll stay away from your uncle and Seth until you graduate. I'm so afraid something might happen to you. I know this means you'll have to quit your job and the basketball team again and I'm so sorry, but I need to know you'll be safe." Aileen said.
"I can stay away from Uncle Pat, I all ready decided I was going to quit, this time for good. I can find a new job anywhere. Seth is going to be more of a problem. Mom, I can't quit the basketball team. Not again, not after just getting back on it." Colin said.
"But what's the point? If Seth is fixing the games what point is there in playing?"
"I have to find a way to stop Seth from fixing those games. I owe it to Coach Fletcher. He's been a roll model for me since I started going to Liberty. There's no man I know with greater integrity than him. I can't let him down again." Colin said.
"Please Colin," Aileen said with fresh tears. "I'm asking you to let this be, just stay away from Seth, don't provoke him!"
"I...I can't do that," Colin said sitting up.
"What happened to you doing anything for me?" Aileen asked.
Colin was silent for a moment then said, "I will do anything for you. I just never thought you would ever ask me to compromise my integrity."
"Is that what you think I'm doing? Colin, I just want you safe!" Aileen said.
"Sometimes there are things worth taking risks over," Colin said as he got out of the bed.
"But not a stupid basketball team! I don't understand it, you quit before," Aileen said.
"And that's just it. I quit because of Seth and what he did to me. I let my team down and I let Coach Fletcher down. I won't do that again. Seth doesn't control me, not anymore!"
"Colin, I forbid you to play!" Aileen said.
"You forbid me? Is that where we are now? I'm back to being the son and you're the mother? I thought our relationship had changed," Colin said.
"It has, but honey, I'm always going to be your mother," Aileen said.
"I know that, I accept that, I even need that!" Colin said. "But I can't be
just
your son, I also need us to be equal partners in this relationship and I thought that's what we were! But if there are going to be times where you simply forbid me to do something like I'm some sort of subordinate...well then, we are going to have some issues."
"You're right Colin, you're right. I can't forbid you not to play, all I can do is ask." Aileen said.
"You have to understand," Colin said kneeling by the side of the bed in front of Aileen. "You are the one who gives me the strength to stand up to Seth. Knowing I have you in my life is all I need. He can't hurt me like he used to because we have our little world, all I have to do is think about that and I have refuge. I need you so I can be the person I am, but the person I now am is someone who won't be pushed around by Seth. If you ask me to not to play then I won't. I
will
do anything for you. But if you ask me not to play then you take away a part of me, a part of the person you love."
"Then go," Aileen said coldly.
"Mom..."
"No. Just go. I don't want to make you less than who you are. Go play your game if it's that important." Aileen said.
"I just..."
"JUST GO!" Aileen shouted and Colin felt as if it pierced his heart.
Colin got up and left. He had a basketball game to play tonight.
* * *
Colin arrived back to school at six o'clock that evening. The game would start at seven. He went to the locker room to change into his uniform. Tonight, all the Eagles were wearing the green uniforms with white outline; the standard uniform for home games. Saint Mathew's team was called the Cardinals and they wore white uniforms with red outlines. Saint Mathew's had only managed to win one game so far this season and Liberty was favored to win by twelve points.
Colin's stomach felt upset all the way until game time. He and his mother had their first fight since becoming a couple and he felt miserable about it. A part of him wanted to say fuck the game and run home to beg her forgiveness, but another part of him knew he would lose too much of the self-respect he had gained if he quit. Ironically, that was the part of him that drew all its potency from his relationship with his mother. Colin felt lost when he ran onto the court with the rest of the team.
Colin saw his Aunt Sarah in the stands along with his cousin Kyle. Morgan didn't really like coming to the games and his uncle usually couldn't make the night games. His mother tried to make it to all his games in the past. It was so disheartening not seeing her up there. He got another urge to just leave the court and game, but he fought it.
The game started a little after seven. Colin took his familiar position as center. After his performance during the scrimmage match earlier in the week Coach Fletcher returned Colin to first string on the roster. As team captain, Seth was on the floor and in his position of point guard.
Right from the start Colin could tell that Seth and the other players on the floor weren't playing to their fullest capabilities. It was subtle and probably couldn't be seen unless you were right in the game. Most of the time Seth was playing at full speed, but once in a while when he would be dribbling the ball down the court and one of the Cardinals was after him, Seth would slow down just enough to let the player overtake him and steal the ball. The other players on the floor were doing the same thing. Dropped passes, missed baskets, penalties, they all seemed to happen at random intervals, but if you paid enough attention you could see that the mistakes would happen just when the Eagles seemed to be getting some momentum or the Cardinals were in a position to take full advantage of a mistake.