Mom started to sob. I felt bad and handed her a tissue, she sniffled a thank you and blew her nose. I gave her another one for her tears. I had just told her about the arrangement I had with Kat, Becky and Val. I explained what we had been doing, the rules we had set and that it was going to be a regular thing going forward.
'Mom I'm sorry, I know it's a lot to take in and is a pretty weird situation but it's a decision we have all made as adults. You might not be happy with it but we are, and I thought you should know the situation.'
Mom started to calm down and looked up at me, her straight, dark hair was tied in a ponytail, it was a Saturday morning so she was cleaning the house and doing laundry, she didn't have any make up on but she still looked naturally pretty. Her big brown eyes were watery and looked right at me with a sadness I couldn't bare.
'Say something.' I pleaded.
'Tony, you're right this is weird, how many people share their partners with their sisters and how many people fuck their mother in law with their wife's permission?' Mom used the word fuck in its actual context, it didn't sound right coming from her mouth. 'I'm crying because I am so confused with all of this.' She sat there with her hands on her lap shaking her head. 'Your dad is away all of the time, Darren has his own life and I am alone, I have been alone for so long. Your dad isn't the same as he used to be, even when he worked away we still used to fuck.'
'Mom I don't want to know that stuff.' She said that word again.
'No you need to Tony, its important. As you got older your dad worked more and more, I think he thought that he didn't need to be there for me as much because you were at home. I relied on you for a lot, things around the house, someone to talk to and helping me to try and bring up Darren to a point.'
It was true; I had felt like a father and partner sometimes and it was one of the reasons that I would clash with my mom frequently; she would take frustrations with dad out on me. 'Why don't you leave dad?' I asked.
'I thought about it but I couldn't, I need him financially because I am an untrained housewife who stopped all of her career and education to be a full time mom. I'm nearly 50 and it is too late in my life to start a career now.' She was right, she needed him for security.
'So your dad was working more but I had you to fill the emotional void for a while, it was harder when you moved out and then I didn't really have anyone. I am not in any way blaming this on you moving out at all so please don't think that. Kat is a brilliant woman and I love her like my own. I could cope while you were here because you were someone I could talk to and confide in, once you moved out I didn't have an emotional crutch and I wasn't being fulfilled physically so I got really down. That's why I always try to come over on your days off so much, that's why I started to wear my skimpy underwear around you.'
I was not expecting that. My eyes widened in shock. 'Wait what do you mean?' I tried to act casual.
'Tony, I always knew you had the underwear fetish. I just let you carry on because you were a teenager going through a phase and it made me feel attractive, it sort of filled my physical void knowing that you were turned on by me.'
'I...I...don't know what you mean mom.' Oh shit she knew. My relationship with my mom is done.
'Look its out of the bag now hun, lets talk about it. I knew why you used to do the laundry on your day off, I could see you through the keyhole of my bathroom door when you used to use my underwear when I went for a shower and I even saw you through the door that time when you were jerking off when you were drunk after your night out.'
Mom's tone wasn't angry, it was calm and gentle but I still put my head in my hands, I was ashamed. She put her hand on my shoulder and continued.
'It's ok Tony, you made me feel wanted and it got me through those years when I felt all alone.' She smiled at me lovingly as I pulled my hands away from my face and looked at her. 'When I thought I had caught you and Becky together I thought I could maybe use it to my advantage and somehow have you back again. That's why I was so upset when you told me that you weren't having an affair.'
I was confused. 'What do you mean have me back again?'
Mom looked sad, silent tears fell down her pale skin and she patted them dry. 'I don't know, I thought I could blackmail you into doing things with me maybe. I thought if you were cheating on Kat anyway then I could somehow use that to get you to fuck me or something.'
The words tumbled out of her mouth and she put her hand to her lips. Mom always did this when she was embarrassed; she bit her knuckle and stared at me. She had left me speechless, I thought of all of the fantasies I had as a teenager and young adult, when I would want her to give me a hint that she wanted more than just a normal mother son relationship. I sometimes wished she caught me masturbating just to see where it would go and now I find out that she always did want to do more with me.
'Tony, say something.' It was her turn to plead.
I puffed out my cheeks and admitted that I had always found her attractive and secretly hoped she would give me a hint that she wanted me. I shared with her that I had always fantasized about her and the lingerie fetish was more about them belonging to her rather than the actual underwear. I confessed that she was the only woman that I would fantasize about other than my wife. I had always wanted to know what it would be like to have sex with her and what her body would feel like.
'Mom, even my attraction to women is based on you, look at Kat's body. Ok she hasn't got the boobs but the thick thighs and ass; they always say you base your attractions on your parents. I have been attracted to you since I was a teenager.'
She nodded and hugged me, she pressed her cheek into my chest and I kissed her on the head. She stood back and her face looked happier now, the tears had gone and she was smiling. I don't know if it was just me but she appeared to stand taller and looked stronger after getting this off her chest.
'Tony, I still want you though. I still need a physical relationship, I need it, and with you it would feel safe and special. I know this is a big thing to ask for so speak to Kat first, it is one thing sharing your husband with your sister but sharing him with his own mother is another matter altogether.'
I stood in silence thinking about the offer of sex I just got from my mother, an offer I had waited for since I was a horny teenager. 'OK I will speak to Kat, I am not going to lie to you mom, this is something that I have always wanted but is a big difference to what I am doing with Becky and Val at the moment. It will shake all of our relationships to the core and I don't want to lose anyone. We can get in a lot of trouble and throw away everything we have, its risky.'
I paused to think about my next sentence. 'Telling you about the arrangement I have with Becky and Val isn't the only reason I came over today. I also need to tell you that tonight is the first time I am going to fuck Val. Kat and I are going to her house for dinner while John is away for his golf weekend and we thought it was best to let you know what we are doing before it starts with Val, we felt you had a right to know as my mother.'
'How come Kat is going?' She asked.