I was becoming more and more frustrated, my husband was getting less and less attracted to me sexually. I think he still loves me, and I suppose I still love him. I also know I am on the brink of stepping outside of my marriage for the first time. I do get plenty of offers, admiring glances, whistles, and the rest of it.
I have always attracted the opposite sex, and sometimes some of my own! I was cute, and very pretty growing up, and I blossomed into an extremely attractive girl, then a feline sensuous highly attractive woman. And I am a woman too, I wanted everything being a woman can demand from her man. The opening of a door for me, the waiting for me, holding a chair, seating me.
I wanted and got attention, whom ever my boyfriend happened to be at any particular time, I was at the centre of their world. I went through lots of boyfriends, but I did not go through lots of sex. I was virtuous, much to many a boys chagrin, and later, plenty of men. I did have sex and I enjoyed it, but having sex was on my terms, not theirs.
I was looking for Mr right, my knight on a white charger, and I found him in the man I married. And it was a match made in heaven, but I didn't think that after twenty years he would be sliding off his saddle. We have three children, Max, Laura, and Gerry, Gerry is the youngest at 18, and there is a gap up to the others.
We have a great life, on the surface, my husband is successful, and we are well off. I have my own car, the kids will get theirs, we live in a big house, several bedrooms, several bathrooms, enormous garden etc etc, you get the picture. But over the last several months, in fact, now I think about it, the last year or two, although we sleep in the same bed, that is about now as close as we get now.
I am Nicki Tremaine, I am 41, nearly 42, and I feel my life is going nowhere somehow. Robert, my husband, is too busy somehow, and if he isn't, he is golfing or whatever. I do have my own social life, but I am always there for him, he is never there for me! So now I am checking out the opposition as it were, the guys, young or old, it doesn't matter.
I am 5ft 7" in height, dark brown hair, it is still lustrous and soft, it is my pride. It is cut short into my neck, its naturally wavy, rather than curly. I have a very appealing face, second glances all round every time. I am still fit, lean and slender, full bodied, and I can still get excited in the right places. Some where my husband has now forgotten apparently.
I do resent him a little, he would be shocked to the core to learn I was thinking what I am. I also don't know what I would do if I got propositioned when I wasn't expecting it, run a mile probably. I have often thought about this guy, and that guy. Some of his friends, some of our friends, my friend's husbands, and more, even some of their fit young sons!
I didn't know what to do, I had discussed it with my best friend, but that was a waste of time, she just said, that I'll get over it. It's an age thing, she told me. She would have died if she'd known her own husband had made the odd lewd suggestion to me! So I decided to face it head on, tell Robert, tell him that if he didn't pay me more attention I was going to look elsewhere.
I hedged all around it, it took me about two weeks to actually bring the subject up proper. I dressed nice for him, sexily teased him, I let him know I was available at all times. I just talked to myself or the wall. And when I told him of my frustrations and concerns he was gob smacked to say the least. And on top of that he didn't believe I was being honest, that he had tried with me, but I continually turned him down, can you believe that!
So it moved on to arguments, and even further separation from the issues, I even banished him to a spare bedroom at times. It also spilled over into our family life, even the odd criticism in front of friends. Then one night we had a real blazing row, it went on forever, it started after dinner, and kept going. Basically it culminated in me telling him I was going to find a man, a real man, not a fucking limp dicked wimp like he was.
He retorted that if that's what I wanted, then I should go right ahead, I was furious, but thinking about it, I just couldn't see myself doing it. I wanted to, I needed sexual release, love, tenderness, and I was not getting it any more from the man who should do just that. And I think he knew that too, he knew me of course, so he was confident I would roll over, and accept the status quo.
I decided to try again, I was waiting on him hand and foot, I was sex personified for him. And while I kept my temper in check, he took all this as my submissiveness to him. He was making a massive mistake, one I didn't know he was making, well, in reality I did, but not the way I had been thinking of.
It was Friday night when the pan of rage in me boiled over, I had cooked a nice dinner, got the candles out, chilled the wine, wore a dress that would kill any man within 50 paces. The kids were all out and away for the weekend doing their own things. Gerry was rock climbing, he was quite passionate about it. Then the telephone rang.
"Nicky, I can't make it," he told me, "I am just about to board a plane for an important meeting that can land the firm million and millions. I hope to be home by Sunday, take care." And the phone went dead, I hadn't even had the chance to speak. He was being too cocky by half, I was going to teach him a lesson, one he would not forget in a hurry. I knew he was on his cell, so I texted him.
This time you have gone too far Robert, I've had it with you, when you get back, I will be a well fucked, and unfaithful wife!"
I muted and closed the phone, so if he called I wouldn't hear it, and I threw it into the drawer next to my bed. I was absolutely livid, and I fully intended to go out and find a guy, to seduce into fucking me. It was something I knew I could do with ease, but I had to find a suitable guy though. I wasn't the kind of person that could just pick up anyone, oh no, he had to be right.
I threw the dinner into the bin, and went upstairs. I went through my wardrobe and finally settled on a white short skirt, a matching white snug top, a thong, no bra, high backless heels and I was set. I got in my car and headed off, I had no idea where to go, I never went out on my own. I knew there were bars and the like in town, but I didn't want to be seen, so I headed out of the city.
I was driving along, and picturing myself underneath some young hunk getting my ass shagged off me. Then I laughed when I also pictured myself telling Robert about it, for some reason I found it hilarious. I spotted a bar with lots of cars outside so I pulled up. That was the easy bit, getting out and going in was a different kettle of fish.
Music was blaring away, and it looked very lively, my main concern was that someone might be in there that knew me. There was, but I never noticed until later. I stood outside for an eternity, I almost turned and went home, but I steeled myself and eventually I went in. I was noticed immediately by lots of men. I got whistles, immediate offers of a drink. And I was ushered to the bar by a massive man, who seemed to have most people around him, me, us, wary of him to say the least.
I politely but firmly brushed him off after he ordered me a double whisky, "to get me in the mood," he told me. I left it and went to the end of the bar. There was a man and a woman there so it made me feel a bit safer. But I was also on the verge of cutting and running too.