A Love Less Ordinary

This is not a fictional tale, nor is it a story born in the imagination of a sexually frustrated woman. It is a true account of the events which led to my ongoing sexual relationship with my son. All the events I describe happened when he was older than 18 years.

I have always kept a diary but for obvious reasons I could not take the chance that this part of my life would be discovered. Documenting my life for so many years has become so much a part of who I am that I needed another outlet, a way of substituting the written words on paper. So here I am.

The only changes I have made are the names of my son and my husband. I have not changed my Christian name and every detail of what you are about to read is as true and accurate as I can recall.

*****

My name is Natalie; I'm 41, a part-time legal secretary and mostly home-maker and mom. I'm 5'7" tall, I have dark brunette hair, I'm considered quite good looking and keep myself in good physical shape. My husband James is 47 and is a marketing director for a major construction company and my son Daniel, 21, is at college.

Most days my life moves along at its normal sedate day to day pace and not much out of the ordinary happens. That is until Christmas of 2013 when completely out of the blue and with no prior warning my life changed forever.

Wednesday December 18 2013

Finishing up work at the office for the day I was looking forward to getting home. I work from 8 in the morning till 1 in the afternoon which leaves me lots of time to attend to the normal running of the house and preparing dinner in the evening for my husband James. Life is pretty mundane in our house but this particular day I was glad to be going home as my 20 year old son Daniel would be home from college for the Christmas holidays. I hadn't seen Daniel for 4 months and was so looking forward to fussing over him for the next two weeks. In fact I had booked two weeks off so that I could spend more time with him over the holiday period.

As I pulled my car into the drive I saw that Daniel had already arrived as his SUV was parked in his usual haphazard way almost abandoned at the front of the house. I hurried inside and walked straight into the living room where I knew he'd be slouching in the armchair watching TV. Daniel stood up as I walked in. I gave him a big hug as I kissed him on the cheek and welcomed him home. 'You've changed so much,' I said as he stood there with that big smile on his face that always melted my heart. 'Really Mom?' I don't feel any different, maybe it's because you haven't seen me in so long'.

But he'd changed in many ways. Daniel seemed to be manlier. His voice had deepened slightly and he carried himself in a more confident manner. It was almost as if he had become a man since the last time he left for college, and I looked at him with pride as he asked, 'Anything to eat Mom? I giggled at him, 'Some things never change' and went to the kitchen to make him a sandwich.

Daniel was our only son and growing up he'd always done well in school, in fact he was an excellent student and was doing very well at college. He'd grown into a strapping 6' tall young man with my dark hair and brown eyes. Although not really the sporty type, he is quite well built and carries the leanness of youth. Over dinner that evening he surprised James and I by announcing that he'd gained a work placement with a company based only 30 miles from home for two years, which was fantastic for us as he'd be able to commute from home. James and I were delighted.

James and I went to bed at 11 content and happy to have our son home. Our sex life (such as it is) is nothing to write home about. Over the years the excitement has worn off and these days we'd be lucky to have sex once every six weeks. James works long hours and is so tired most of the time but I still feel young, and as is often the case, feel as though the spark has disappeared from our relationship. Having a high sex drive I often find this quite frustrating, and masturbate at least once a week.

Thursday December 19 2013

I awoke next morning at 6.30. I had my morning shower and went downstairs to make breakfast and get ready for the day. James had already gone, as he leaves the house at 6 am every morning. I wasn't expecting Daniel to be up, and was wearing only a dressing gown over my naked body, as is my normal routine. I don't usually get dressed till after breakfast. Pouring a cup of coffee I heard Daniel walk into the kitchen. 'You're up early darling,' I smiled as he took a cup from the rack. 'One of the better habits I've developed Mom.' He laughed and reached across me for the coffee pot. As he reached over I saw him glancing down the front of my dressing gown. I hadn't realised that it was quite loose but was relieved to see that not much of my 36c breasts were visible. Even so his glance seemed to linger just a few seconds too long. Sitting at the table discussing the day ahead I crossed my legs feeling a little self conscious and making sure nothing else was on view. Again I noticed that Daniel kept glancing down towards my bare legs. Putting it down to a young man's curiosity I cleared up and went to get dressed for work. When I returned to the kitchen dressed in my skirt and blouse I told Daniel that I this was my last day before the holidays and would be able to spend more time with him when I got home.

Daniel said, 'I'm looking forward to it Mom, and by the way, you look as beautiful as ever.'

'Why thank you young man,' I laughed and went to work feeling delighted with my son's compliment.

When I returned home from the office Daniel made me coffee and as I washed the cups he asked, 'Mom do you still wear your glasses at work?' I told him that I did and he asked if I would put them on.

I found this a little odd but he explained, 'It's just that I haven't seen you wearing them around the house and wondered if you still needed them.'

I took my glasses from my purse and put them on, amused that he even remembered that I wore glasses at all.

'Wow! Mom, you look stunning' he exclaimed. I giggled, feeling good about myself. Daniel came towards me and kissed me on the cheek.

'I've really missed you Mom,' he smiled. 'It's good to be home.' As he brushed past me I thought I felt a bulge in his pants.

After finishing up in the kitchen I went to change out of my work clothes. Something was niggling in my mind as I walked up the stairs. Was I just imagining it or did Daniel's voice get a little husky when he'd leaned in to kiss my cheek? In fact I could have sworn I'd detected the unmistakable scent of sexual arousal on his breath. Dismissing it from my mind I carried on and as I walked past Daniel's bedroom I was quite taken aback to hear the sounds of heavy breathing coming from inside. I knew instantly that he was masturbating as I'd heard the same noises from his room now and then since before he went to college. I had always regarded it as a natural healthy activity for a young man and although a little embarrassed, I had never mentioned the subject to him.

Since Daniel was 18 I had spoken to him a few times about little coincidences that happened. Little things that I'd put to the back of my mind dismissing them. There were occasions when he was home from college for the summer,I had caught him walking past my bedroom door just after I had been getting dressed. He once walked into the bathroom while I was naked in the shower. These things returned to my mind as I sat in my bedroom.

After dinner that evening James was relaxing watching the news in the living room while Daniel was in the den watching a movie. I sat beside him and as we watched the movie we chatted about college, work and about his plans for the future.

'Is there a girl in your life at the moment darling?' I asked.

'Not recently Mom,' he replied, 'I've had a few girlfriends but nothing too serious. Besides, you're the only girl for me.' He laughed, putting his arm around me.

I snuggled in to him and felt everything was right with the world. As we watched the screen there it was again, that scent of sexual arousal. I looked down and could see that Daniel had an erection that was threatening to burst out of his pants. Ignoring it, I thought I'd better give him a little privacy and went to take some clothes out of the drier. I smiled inwardly thinking, 'that boy really needs to get himself a girlfriend.'

Daniel walked in and said, 'I'm going to bed Mom.' As I leaned up to kiss him goodnight he gently pulled me close and kissed my neck. He smiled and walked off leaving me feeling a little confused.

That night as James lay sleeping beside me I went over the events of the day in my mind. Was my son testing the water with me, teasing me or just being playful? Had he missed my cheek and accidently kissed my neck? Even worse, had I been the cause of his erection or was he just feeling horny? To my horror I thought, 'had he been masturbating with me, his mother in mind?' Trying to dismiss these images from my mind I decided that if Daniel continued his behaviour tomorrow I'd have a serious talk with him.

Friday December 20 2013

Not having to go to work I awoke at 8, showered and went down to make breakfast. Daniel was already up and was sitting at the table with his coffee, watching the morning news on the small kitchen TV.

'Morning Mom,' he said as I poured some coffee from the pot.

Standing at the kitchen counter I asked, 'What's your plan for the day darling? I have some Christmas shopping to do. If you'd like to come with me I could do with a little help.'

'I have no plans Mom, I'd love to help,' he said as he walked towards me. As he set his cup in the sink he looked at me and said,

'Mom you get more beautiful every day,' and pulled me close. He placed his arms around my neck. I could hear the shortening of his breath and feel the bulge in his shorts pressing against my stomach, as he started to slide my dressing gown down over my bare shoulders. Shocked, I Instantly I grabbed my gown and straightened myself up.

'What do you think you're playing at Daniel?' I gasped.

'I..I..I'm so sorry Mom,' he stammered. 'I couldn't help myself, I don't know what's come over me.'

'We need to talk Daniel,' I told him, 'Sit down with me at the table, I won't lecture you but you're a grown man and we need to discuss what's been happening since you came home. Frankly I'm a little worried about you.'

Sitting across the table from him I held his hand said,

'Daniel your behaviour around me has been a little strange since you came home. At first I thought nothing of it. But after that incident It has become clear that you have been flirting with me. I've even noticed you copping a sneaky peek here and there. I feel that you have been testing me to see how I'd react and you didn't even make an attempt to hide the fact that you had an erection while watching TV with me last night. After you pressed yourself against me yesterday I know you went to your room to masturbate and I hope it wasn't over me. Let's be truthful with each other darling, tell me what's on your mind or what's causing you to behave like this.'

'I can't help the way I feel Mom, I've felt this way for so long.'

'What way Daniel? What's wrong?'

'The summer when I was 18, before I left for college, I came in one Saturday afternoon and heard you and Dad having sex in your bedroom. The sounds you were making awoke feelings in me that I've never been able to let go of.. I went into my room and tried to imagine what you must look like naked and making love.'

'That's just a natural curiosity for a young man Daniel but those thoughts should have left you some time ago'

'I know that Mom but they haven't. I never heard you again after that but from that day I have looked at you in a different light. You've always been beautiful and in great shape. I saw you not just as my mom but as a sexy gorgeous woman. I've fantasized about you coming into my room dressed in sexy underwear and making love to me.

'You can't think like that Daniel, I'm your mother and it's wrong,'

'I know it is Mom but I've always found you sexually attractive, and I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have sex with you. Every time I made love with another girl I imagined it was you. I wanted to tell you and almost did on several occasions but always chickened out at the end or the opportunity to tell you just never came. I know this must be difficult for you to hear but it's really difficult for me too. I can't just shut off the way I feel. When I had my erection last night I purposely made sure you saw it, hoping that you'd like it and hoping for a positive reaction.'

'To be honest with you Daniel, I had suspicions that you were a little infatuated with me but not to this extent. I thought you had grown out of it by now. Were you really trying to impress me with your erection?

'Yes, I was Mom. I wanted you to like what you saw, I was dying to kiss you, to taste your lips. I love you as my mom but you really turn me on. There, I said it, but while we're being honest with each other can you at least tell me how I made you feel?'

'I was quite confused Daniel, you must understand that seeing her fully grown son with a big bulge in his pants isn't what a mother expects.'

'So you think my bulge was big?' he laughed, partly to ease the tension between us.

'Well yes, I must admit it was quite impressive,' I smiled. 'And now that I know I caused it I'm quite flattered. When you tell me I'm beautiful it's nice because it's been a long time since anyone has said nice things to me. I'm glad I still look sexy but you shouldn't see me in that way. Yes, I enjoyed the attention and yes, you made me feel sexy but nothing can ever happen between us Daniel. I won't mention this to your father and neither should you. Let's be clear Daniel, I have no interest in you sexually and you really need to keep your urges in check.'

Emotion swept across Daniels face and I could tell he was a little hurt and disappointed.

'I'm going to get dressed Daniel,' I said, 'Are you still going shopping with me?'

'Sure Mom,' he replied, 'let me know when you're ready.'

I hurried up to my bedroom and sat down to gather my thoughts. I'd never had any idea that Daniel had felt this sexually attracted to me. His mind must have been in turmoil keeping this to himself for years, then when he finally opened up to me and got it off his chest I had dashed his hopes and dreams within seconds. My motherly instincts took over and I began to feel sorry for him, sorry that I had spurned his advances so abruptly. Maybe I could have found another way and let him down gently. But I had scolded him when he was younger and it didn't seem to have deterred him.

With the memory of his hot breath on my neck and the bulge in his pants fresh in my mind I must admit I was surprised and even shocked at myself as I felt a tingle inside and moistness in my pussy. Dismissing it from my mind I changed into my t-shirt and jeans and went back downstairs where Daniel was still sitting at the table.

'Are you ok,' I asked.

'I'm fine Mom, just feeling a little ashamed that I not only embarrassed myself but I put you in a very awkward situation,'

'Don't worry about it Daniel, you're not the first young man to have a mother fixation. Maybe If I had allowed you to kiss me last night you would have felt differently when you realised you were actually kissing your mother. There would have been nothing special about it. In fact you would probably have found it disgusting.'

'Could we at least try Mom?' Daniel's eyes pleaded, 'Maybe you'll prove your point.'

'Daniel if I thought it would take these silly thoughts out of your mind, then maybe.'

'It might help Mom, please let's just try?'

'Ok, I'll allow you to kiss me once and that's it. I don't want to go over this again.'

I was hoping he'd be so disgusted when it felt like he was kissing his mother that he would see sense.

Daniel walked towards me and placed his hands on my waist as I put my arms around his neck and tentatively looked up towards his face feeling his hot breath as our lips met. My lips followed his as he opened his mouth slightly and held me close. He surprised me by slipping the tip of his tongue into my mouth and I surprised myself by giving him my tongue in return as our kiss continued. I had not meant for it to last this long but I was feeling light-headed and dizzy as we probed each other's mouths and lips with our tongues. This was now much more than just a placatory kiss; I was swept away on a wave of ecstasy as my son kissed me with a passion that awoke feelings inside me that I hadn't felt for years. On and on we kissed and Daniel began to kiss my neck, my ears and my throat. My breath came in short gasps and I could feel his hard cock pressing against me and knew I was getting wet. This was too much. I felt so deliciously wicked and my mind was racing, 'I have to stop this, I'm kissing my son,' I thought, as I gently eased out of his arms. Breathlessly I whispered, 'Wow, Daniel, that backfired on me!'

Daniel looked at me quizzically, 'I don't understand Mom?' he asked.

'I thought that if I allowed you to kiss me it would let you see that I'm just your mother and nothing special and that it would break the spell that you seem to be under. I had no clue that we'd kiss for so long and with so much passion.'

'Did you like it Mom,' he asked.

'I must admit I did'

'It was better than I'd ever imagined Mom, did I turn you on?'

'Y...Y...Yes, yes you did, big time,' I stammered, but only because I haven't been kissed like that for a long time and almost allowed myself to forget you are my son'

Daniel moved towards me again and asked, 'Can we have just one more kiss Mom. That one took me by surprise and I wasn't ready.'

Every part of my mind was telling me to say no but every part of my body was screaming yes. I gave into those beautiful brown eyes and said, 'Ok, but it's the very last time.'

Daniel pressed me against the kitchen counter and our lips met for the second time. All of a sudden I now felt an irresistible wickedness as we kissed deeply with a subtle change to a tender probing sensitive search of each other's mouths, a perverse deliciousness flowed through me that I could never have previously imagined. My inhibitions fell away as I was swept up in this carnal taboo with my son. As he kissed my neck I leaned my head back and he licked and caressed my throat with his mouth. His hands were under my top, tracing his fingers lightly down my back before expertly un-hooking my bra.

'You mustn't Daniel!' I gasped making a feeble attempt to push his hands away.

But in that moment I couldn't have willed myself to stop him for anything. He moved his hands agonizingly slowly from my back around to my breasts and cupped them gently as his kiss carried me away.

'Stop Daniel, please,' I moaned softly, kissing him even harder as he played with my nipples. I took his face in my hands and began to kiss his eyes, his nose, his lips and his neck. He groaned as he ground his erection against me. Moving his hands from my breasts Daniel began to lift my t-shirt over my head. I was horrified.

'No Daniel, please, you can't do this,' I moaned.

I wanted to stop him but instead I lifted my arms and allowed him to take it off and watched almost in disbelief as it fell to the kitchen floor along with my bra. He looked into my eyes and as I stood bare breasted before my son I pulled his head down towards my chest until his tongue found my nipples. Taking my breast in his hand he squeezed and sucked until I could hardly stand it. He took my hand and placed it on the bulge in his jeans and I began to stroke him in a rhythm of lust. His groans of pleasure were making me soaking wet and I feared for myself. Feared that if I allowed this to continue there would be no way back. Daniel opened my jeans and began to slide them down. Right there, I snapped back to my senses, grabbed my jeans and held them up and quickly buttoned them.