It was one of the deepest and most restorative slumbers I had in months. As I blinked back into consciousness, I honestly could not remember waking up even once throughout the night, something that was very rare for me with my tendency to toss and turn. The extent to which I had been mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted had mostly gone unnoticed and now feeling so refreshed I could see it.
As I stretched and yawned, I scanned the bed for Amber, squinting through the light streaming in through the blinds and finding an empty bed. I peered over at my alarm clock through another yawn, and it read 6:45 a.m.—very early for Amber to have beaten me out of bed. Finally, I sat up and looked toward the bathroom—expecting to find it closed with a sliver of light shining at the base of the door—instead, finding it open and dark and empty.
Had she really gotten up, showered, and ready for the day while I remain sleeping in bed?
The thought seemed improbable, as I had always been a very light sleeper but at the moment, I had no other explanation.
I swung my feet out from under the blankets and onto the floor, releasing one final yawn before standing up and walking to the closet to retrieve my robe and a pair of boxers. I stepped into the boxers and slipped the robe on before heading to the bathroom. I completed my morning routine of urination and brushing my teeth and headed out to the rest of the house.
Upon opening the door and stepping into the hallway I could hear soft giggles coming from Sienna's room and after seeing that the couch was empty deduced that it was Kayla and Sienna. I could also detect the faint smell of marijuana in the house, which also explained the giggling.
What I was still unsure of was where my beloved Amber had scampered off to while I was asleep. I raised my hand to knock on Sienna's door when I heard the front door squeak ever-so-slightly as it opened and closed softly.
I waited at the mouth of the hallway to see who would appear and was relieved to see it was Amber. I looked at her with a puzzled face and she just smiled back at me deviously. I broke into a smile reactively and plodded over to her in my navy blue slippers.
As I approached, I noticed she had not showered yet, and she was wearing the same yoga pants and tank top that she had been wearing last night. Her dark hair was tousled and crazy and spun into a messy bun atop her head. She removed her black Coach purse from her shoulder and set it onto the kitchen table lightly, giving me 'the eyes' that intimated that she wanted me to join her in appreciating what was inside.
I remained silent as I stepped up next to her and looked into her purse, noticing a baggy of white power and another baggy of pills next to it. I resisted the urge to begin digging through her purse for more, as I of course suspected there was, and instead looked and met her eyes in glee.
"Kayla?" I asked quietly.
Amber nodded enthusiastically, and I suddenly realized that she had sped off first thing in the morning and picked up from Kevin probably because she couldn't wait to try and corrupt her. As excited as
I
was about the potential events around Kayla's future, I was pretty sure that Amber was even
more
excited—a somewhat terrifying thought. Her excitement was typically accompanied by intense motivation and utterly devious machinations. Now that I had relaxed my tolerance and objections to her process, I wondered what lengths she would pursue to achieve her goals—hopefully, I'd remain employed and at the very least I hoped to stay out of prison.
It was an exhilarating feeling to let go of my long-held restraints and free fall into the darkest depths of my cavernous depravities. Led along by the woman whom I had originally lured into my fantasies, I was now at her mercy and the reawakened debauchery of her mind. She was beautiful because of her amazing physical features, but my attraction to her extended to the compatibility of our kinks and sexual deviances. Thinking back to my high-school self I could not have imagined the insatiable appetite for debasement that I would be awakening inside of her. I did not believe in fate, but I could not imagine a stronger argument for its existence than my experience of having met Amber.
I could not help it, I needed to embrace this amazing woman.
Turning toward her, she was already preparing for my touch, leaning into me, and extending her arms. I welcomed her and pulled her close, laying my cheek on the top of her hair and being tickled by her bun. I breathed deeply of her scent—cigarettes, Chanel, and raspberry shampoo. Closing my eyes, I reveled in the combined feelings of gratefulness and contentment that filled me, enjoying the warmth of Amber's body as it pressed against me. It was an embrace devoid of lust or physical need, composed entirely of my love and appreciation for her as my eternal partner in crime and confidant. I failed to remember a time when I was more fulfilled.
After several more moments we broke our embrace mutually and stared at each other in loving appreciation of one-another.
"So, what's the plan?" I asked, wanting to be privy to the 'behind the scenes' information that I was customarily content in leaving to Amber.
Her eyebrows arched playfully in response, noticing a difference in my behavior, and offering a physical display of her surprise.
"Aren't
you
an eager beaver this morning..." she mused with a teasing tone and a beguiling smile.
I smiled and ran my hand through my tousled brown hair, a smirk etching onto my face involuntarily.
"Pretty excited to fuck this one, huh?" She mused.
I briefly remembered the jealousy I detected from Sienna the previous evening and wondered if I was treading on thin ice here. Was she using her playfulness to disarm me? I had never really expressed interest in any other woman—aside from Sienna obviously—and I wondered if my newfound sexual appetite would have any unintended negative consequences for my marriage. I squinted at her a moment, trying to glean her intentions before replying.
"It's not a trick question, hon, give me a bit more credit than
that
," she offered dryly.
I smiled wide but still held onto some measure of doubt as to her ultimate emotions around the subject. Even still, our relationship had been built upon a foundation of radical honesty and been maintained almost effortlessly for almost 2 decades and I did not intend to change that now.
"Let's just say 'I'm on board' with the plan," I replied slyly.
Amber shot me a begrudging smile, perhaps hoping for a more colorful declaration of my intentions but accepting my response, nonetheless.
"Okay, so, I wanted to have a couple of options in case she's more receptive than I'd anticipated. We know she is a little stoner and she's been kicked out of the house so I'm hoping her wild streak is just beginning. So, we have the Oxy," she said, removing the bag of pills from her bag, "and we have the coke," she continued, setting the baggy of white powder next to her other treasure on the table.
"My thinking is that Sienna can employ some good-old-fashioned peer pressure to get her started on the pills while hopefully dropping some breadcrumbs that'll lead to further experimentation. And who knows? Maybe this girl is already doing some of this stuff? Maybe it will be as easy as offering it to her and watching her go. The biggest challenge might just be keeping those two teenagers stocked up," Amber explained, presenting her process to me for the first time and allowing me to peek behind the curtains of her devious mind.
All in all, it was not too far off from what I would probably come up with, but I doubted I'd concoct such a concise plan of attack so quickly and employ it as efficiently. As much as I wanted to ignore it, I was perpetually hindered by my tendency to overthink things and worry about the many possible outcomes of my actions. This was a trait that had aided me in terms of my occupation many times but had ultimately represented an obstacle on the road to being free to pursue my sexual satiation. As usual, I was awash in appreciation for my incredible wife.
"I must say, you look really pleased with yourself," she remarked, another sly grin on her face.
I tried to analyze her interest in my affect and stuttered, unable to discern its origin.
"Does it bother you that I'm fantasizing about being with her?" I asked quietly, suddenly aware of the possibility of my voice carrying.
Amber tilted her head in a disapproving fashion, a pained smile on her face.
"Babe, do you honestly think I'm threatened by you fucking another woman after everything you have seen
me
do? We are not a normal married couple, and I am not a normal wife; I was pretty sure you understood that by now," she explained.
I reciprocated her pained smile and shrugged my shoulders.
"Yeah, I understand that, but I also know that we've never really treaded in these waters. Until recently, I had not slept with any other woman aside from you in my entire life and that only changed when it included our daughter. I mean, I've been 'keeping it in the family' for a long, long time now," I countered.
Amber sighed a bit but also seemed to resign herself to some measure of understanding.
"Okay, I see what you are worried about, but you really don't need to be. I am not at all bothered by your interest in screwing this girl, if I were, I wouldn't be actively trying to make it happen. I am here
for you,
and I am doing what I am doing because I want to and because it turns us
both
on. There is no woman on this planet that I think is better for you than me, and I know you know that. So, let us stop focusing on this silly 'married jealousy' stuff and get back to the fun part, okay?" she offered, clearly far more interested in enacting the next part of her plan instead of what in her mind must've been needless concern.
Truth be told, I was as eager as she was about getting this plan into action. I felt it was only right to at least give Amber an opportunity to express her thoughts and emotions around what was a new wrinkle in our relationship, but I was certainly pleased that there was nothing to worry about.
"Absolutely, just making sure we're okay because nothing is worth jeopardizing us and what we have," I replied honestly.
"I know sweetheart and I
so
love that you are always thinking about me and how I feel but you don't have to worry about that. If I have a problem with anything, I am not going to play games or conceal it from you I am going to come right out and say it. We have always been honest with each other and it is why we are able to explore all this together instead of hiding the darkest parts of ourselves in fear of being judged. Just trust that I will tell you if there is ever anything wrong, because I am not going anywhere, ever. If you want to get rid of me one of us is going to have to die," she smirked.
"Thanks darling," I said, punctuating my gratitude with a quick kiss.
"Okay, so now that all the worrying is out of the way, we can talk more about how and when this is going down," Amber continued, seeming to pick right up where she left off before I introduced the dreaded 'emotional discussion.'
"What're you proposing?" I queried, thinking we had covered the basics already.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I feel like you've earned a sick day," Amber replied, another devious smile present on her beautiful face.
I brought my lips into a tight grin, already feeling my stomach knot at the prospect of 'calling in sick' to work. I recognized the irrational nature of my anxiety, but it remained, nonetheless. I simply
did not
call in sick. If there was an Ironman award for grocery store employees, I would have a trophy case full of them. I was the veritable Cal Ripken Jr. of retail. There was something about going against the grain of my personality that felt incredibly psychologically uncomfortable—like rubbing my hand across the carpet the wrong way.
"You haven't used a single sick day in how long? A decade? What is the point of having them if you never use them?" Amber reasoned, perhaps the first in a series of different approaches that she was planning to employ.
"I know, I know, it's just... I
don't
