A Long Farewell

"What about this one?" I heard Sabrina mutter faintly from our mother's wardrobe. Out the window, a seagull was struggling to pull a large fish from our neighbour's pond. It was as if she she only thought about the present moment. Always laughing, smiling. Oblivious to the uncertainty of the coming summer and unaware of the recent tragedy of our mother's death.

I turned my head and found that my older sister was rummaging through our mother's clothes.

"Oh I don't like this one at all." She said, furrowing her brow like mum used to. "Far too dainty".

She pulled up a dress of white cotton and smiled at me as she held it up. "But really don't you think it looks nice? And it goes so well with your red hair..." I realised she was squinting at me now, with the dress held in front of her, imagining me in it. I looked away trying to bury a smile.

"Oh for fucks sake Jonathan you look constipated. Cheer up! You're about to graduate. You'll be off to London soon."

"Yes, well." I mouthed. "I'm just worried about leaving home, that's all. What am I going to do without my big sister?"

She laughed "bloody hell. You are so gloomy!"

"Alright. But then why aren't you?" I half-heartedly tried.

"Because. Whats the point? We've got a job to do Jonathan."

"What's that?"

"The job of cheering each other up. Mum's old job. Making the family happy. Now I really do like this one."

I didn't recognise the dress, but it was definitely something of our mothers. And Sabrina would look good in it. I imagined her in it, bouncing around the house. Dimpled cheeks, large heavy lidded eyes. A shock of curly brown hair. Perky tits, wide hips and long legs.

"You should have it then." I coughed. "All this stuff's going in the bin otherwise." I didn't mean to sound so severe. And I could see from her pout I'd upset her.

"I'm sure Brian would love that."

This thought of Brian, our mother's widower, was unsettling. He'd only been around for a few years, there was nothing expressly wrong with him, but it seemed out of order. Wrong that he, such a dull, and now undoubtedly, sad man would continue living with my lively sister. Me in London. Sabrina and Brian at home. Lovely Sabrina in our mother's dresses.

***

The night before we'd had spaghetti with tomato sauce and cheese from the fridge. I'd had a bit too much wine and Sabrina had to help me upstairs. I started crying in the dark of our old room, which was now just my room, and Sabrina cooed at me, unfastening my clothes and getting me ready for bed.

I had an erection, to my shame, which I don't know how well I hid.

"It's going to be alright Jonathan. Really."

***

I dreamt of the sands. Being a boy on a walk with mum. I woke up in tears. My eyes were swollen shut.

"What's wrong Jono? Why are you crying?" Sabrina asked.

"Mummy's dead." I mumbled sleepily through tears. The light from the moon was shining in the window, casting long shadows across her face. She kissed me hard and wiped my tears with a corner of the blanket, then she stood up quickly and left the room, I watched her go.

***

"What about this one?" Sabrina held my gaze, turning slightly to reveal the dress. One of the straps slipped down over her shoulder. I felt my breath catch. She must have changed into it while my back was turned. I wondered what I'd missed.

"It's very nice." I managed to say, and I knew my cheeks were flushing. She looked slyly at me through the tops of her glasses, like a quick-witted lawyer onto a new line of questioning. And then slowly her full lips parted into a grin.

"Oh really? What's so nice about it then?" Now she deliberately slipped the other strap down. She pouted and breathily followed with, "don't you think perhaps it's a bit too revealing for a little country girl like me?"

I blushed even more deeply as she reached out and grabbed the hem of my shirt. Her fingers teased along each side before pulling up the material slowly. "City boy..."

"You're right," I said, letting my voice get deeper and lower, "...it is a bit too revealing."

Her smile widened further still, and then she leaned in close to whisper in my ear, "And do you want to know what else is revealing, Jonathan?"

She suddenly pulled away from me.

"Your expression!" She laughed. I must have been panting. I felt myself redden. Then she was once again standing right in front of me, our faces only inches apart, as she went on, "I'm sure you'd like to know what I think of this dress wouldn't you?"

We were so close I could feel her breath against my face.

"I like the way it exposes my..." she whispered, "my breasts."

I nodded, unable to speak. It seemed my mouth was hanging open. My tongue felt thick and heavy.

"Well, closer then."

She took my hand and held it against the small curve of her belly, and then pushed it up to cup her breast.

"Oh my dear little brother" She breathed.

I moved my hand up and around her soft flesh. Then I squeezed gently. As I heard her moan, I felt her writhe against me.

"Oooh... ohhh." Her voice got softer and she leaned in to kiss me. Her tongue touched mine. I began unbuttoning the dress. It fell to the floor so slowly we could have been underwater.

Her face was still alive with mischief. Her small round breasts gently rising and falling. Her generous hips rocked towards me and her legs parted.

She released my arms long enough to pull off her underpants. She had the most perfect body I've ever seen. I slid a hand down between her thighs and she grappled at my trousers. With a flourish she removed my belt.

"So this is my little brother's cock..."

She lay back on mum's bed and I moved to follow her. But I could not stop staring at her, she was so beautiful. I lowered my head. She grasped my erection and guided me inside. She moved herself back against me.

"Don't be shy." She told me.

I placed my hands on her breasts and she kissed me again, very gently. She ran a hand through my hair. "Jonathan. My lovely little brother."

"Sabrina..."

"Ssshhhhh, don't talk."

I was lost in her scent.

"My pretty little brother..."

I bridled at first, not sure if she was still teasing me. But her eyes were tender now. We ground into one another. I felt her pulsing around my shaft. There was nothing but us.

"Make me yours."

I sank into her.

"I love you, Sabrina."

As I said it, I felt her trembling.

"I love you too."

At that, I began moving faster, overwhelmed with feeling. I felt her legs wind around my hips, pulling me into her. We accelerated. She was quivering now.

"Oh god! Fuck me little brother!" she howled. We both laughed, and then another kiss, which turned into a bite. I kept thrusting, but we were both shaking now. The once rhythmic movements building into an erratic jerking frenzy. And then she finally came, screaming my name into my shoulder and shuddering in my arms. I held her tight.

"Jonathan... Jonathan!"

I rolled onto my back, utterly spent. She pulled off the sheets and moved across the room. She stood at the window looking out over the valley. She turned back.

"Let's go out for a walk," she called to me.

I sat up and watched her slip on her dress and coat. She put on her shoes. She smiled at me.

"Come on then."

***

The day was bright and clear. We walked through the woods, and down onto the sands. It was low tide and there were no people about. We walked out together. Our boots splashing through the shallows. We strolled along the beach. We stopped and washed our feet at a stream. It was warm and the water felt good. We stood in the water, holding hands and kissing.

"There's something I wanted to show you."

I followed her down some rocks until we were in a sheltered cove. She clambered down the rocks and suddenly sat down. I joined her. She lifted her foot up onto a stone covered in shells and seaweed and pointed out the hole underneath.

"This is where I hide my money."

I cracked a smile. Little Captain Sabrina.

"How much have you saved?" I asked her.

"Enough for a few months rent for us in London when you're finished with school."

"What, really?"

After I floundered for a bit, not sure what to think, she cocked her head and grinned, working the hem of her dress up her thigh. At once I stood and picked her up by the waist, pushing her onto a steep grassy bank that lined the side of the otherwise rocky cove. She was giggling and we were kissing.

"Jonathan..."

"No, I mean, how much have you saved?"

"Three thousand pounds."

"That's a lot."

"Yes, I thought that might impress you."

"But I'm impressed already."

"I suppose you are."

"So what do you think you'd like to do in London?"

"I haven't decided yet."

She worked her dress up over her head. Standing before me, utterly naked. I wriggled out of my clothes and for a moment we looked at each other, grinning at the ridiculousness of it all, even shivering in the slight cold. But soon we were warming our hands on one another's bodies. I moved my arm around her waist, over the dimples of her back. She slid down and I felt her wet labia gliding across the top of my erection.

I pressed into her and she gasped. "Don't be afraid to take control, Jonathan."

I thrust again.

"I won't hurt you, I promise."

I pushed my cock deep into her.

"Oh god!" she cried out softly.

I'm sure she was smiling.

"I want to make you happy, Sabrina."

"Oh god!"

I fucked her hard.

"Oh yes!"

"You're so!"

I felt her legs wrap around my waist.

"Fucking hell!"

I was cumming.

"Oh fuck!"

She screamed.

"Oh Jonathan!"

We lay in silence against the bank. My cock was still buried inside her.

"I love you!"

I kissed her.

"I love you too!"

Then we were laughing again.