Part 2: After the War
Copyright 2013 by woodfellow
Twenty one months and four days after the occupation began, as quickly as it started it was over. When the UN forces arrived to liberate us they found a curious sight: An apartment complex filled with one hundred and sixty men, and exactly two healthy young women ages 19 and 21. They moved us to a refugee camp where we received food, new clothes, and health inspections. All of us were very healthy including the girls.
In the months that followed the war reconstruction effort gained momentum. Families like ours who were driven homeless by the war were a big focus of the humanitarian aid efforts. We qualified for a housing subsidy and I decided to use the opportunity to buy a home, only a few kilometers from where we'd lived before. I couldn't help but think our family had come out ahead by the war: Our new house was certainly better than anything we'd afforded previously.
We moved into our new home six weeks after the war ended. What a beautiful home it was! It had three bedrooms, so the girls no longer had to share. The home also had its own in-law suite, basically a connected apartment with its own separate entrance from the outside.
Paulina and Kasia were delighted to settle into our new home, and return to normal life. Paulina, who was 20 at this time, had had her high school studies interrupted by the war. She was missing her last two years, and so re-enrolled in school as an 11th grader. Paulina was three years older than most of the other students in her class, but being young-looking and petite she did not stand out.
Kasia on the other hand had completed her high school studies shortly before the war. I encouraged her to consider college, but she decided she would rather work for a while and decide what she wanted to do next. So Kasia looked for a job, eventually finding a role as an administrative assistant at a law firm. She was surrounded by lawyers, mostly men, but it was an environment she liked and a job she could do really well. Since Kasia was working she moved into the in-law suite attached to the house. That would be convenient if she had to leave for work early.
-----------------
There was absolutely no discussion between the girls and me about what had happened during the war, and what we had done to survive. In the privacy of my own mind I often thought about those events, and tried to make sense of them. Had I done the right thing as a father? Could there have been another way? On the one hand I was proud to have gotten my daughters safely through the horrors of war. Heaven knows things could have been much worse: Countless thousands of young girls no different from ours had been raped or killed or worse during the war. I felt proud that I kept my girls safe.
On the other hand, at what cost? They had provided sexual gratification to hundreds of men over many months. Yes we had rules about sexual contact to keep the girls from getting aroused. But there had to be consequences.
And truthfully, if I was honest with myself I still felt a burning sexual attraction for my daughters. I had gone from fucking each of them daily (one in the mouth, one in the ass), to nothing. How was I supposed to return to a normal father role? Everything had changed and I was consumed by guilt.
Over the weeks that followed, the war took on a surreal dreamlike quality. I think all of us wanted to close that chapter of our lives. I was soon reminded however that leaving the past behind is easier said than done....
-----------------
"Daddy, I can't sleep!"
I woke up and looked for the source of the whispering. Kasia was standing next to my bed looking at me. The alarm clock on my nightstand read 3:14am. What was she doing up so late?
"Have you tried listening to your music honey? That might help you sleep." I whispered back, still half-asleep myself.
"Yes I tried everything! Nothing's working. I'm not used to sleeping in a room by myself. Can you come keep me company for a while?" She was whispering very softly but with an urgency that brought me awake.
"Ok sweetheart, but I really need to get sleep of my own too. I'll come for a while."
And so I followed Kasia down the hallway and through several rooms, to the inside door to her suite. I was so tired I was practically sleepwalking. She closed her suite door behind us, and led me through into her bedroom. By design this part of the house was very private from the other rooms.
Her bedroom was quite large, with its own king-sized bed and attached bathroom. Still groggy I fell into the bed, and Kasia settled in next to me. Pulling the blankets up she shifted and lay on her stomach with her face buried in a pillow. She always liked this sleeping position. With my right hand I patted her slowly and gently on the back, hoping this would soothe her to sleep. For a long time I gently patted her....
"Daddy, I still can't sleep!"
Waking up again I realized I had dozed off. Her clock now read 3:37am. Kasia sounded tired and a little bit frantic to get to sleep. I knew the feeling, when you need to sleep but your body just won't do it.
"Ok honey," I said. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
She looked me in the eyes and paused for a while with a strange expression on her face.
Very softly she said, "well there is one thing...."
"What is it honey? I want to help you get some rest."
"Well..." she hesitated. "Daddy do you remember how you used to hold me in bed to help me relax? Could you do that for me now? I really need to get some sleep!"
She was talking about how I used to pin her arms down. For some reason this has a calming effect on Kasia, I don't know why. It seemed almost an instinctive response, like how a kitten relaxes when picked up by the nape of its neck.
"Of course I'll help honey."
With that I rolled Kasia onto her belly. Then laying next to her, I pulled her arms up above her head and used my hand to grip her wrists together firmly. When I did this I could hear her exhale and visibly relax. She closed her eyes and her breathing got more even.
I thought she was drifting off to sleep, but she kept stirring periodically.
"Daddy can you lay on top of me for a little bit? I'm so tired...."
And so I climbed over on top of my daughter, and eased my weight onto her. With my left hand I continued holding her wrists above her head. With my right hand I did the other thing she finds soothing: I reached under her right armpit and placed my hand firmly around her throat. With this treatment Kasia sighed and I felt all the tension drain out of her. Like picking up a kitten by the nape of its neck.
As she was calming, something was happening to me. My groin was pressed against her pajama-ed bottom, and involuntarily I was getting an erection. I was wearing no nightclothes of any kind, so my penis nestled directly against her.
